Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The Poll that Wasn't

I was supposed to be in charge of this week's edition of the Batfaces poll. However, since I can't be concise about anything, my content for the poll was...welll...just too long. Nonetheless, I offer said content anyway. Please feel free to vote or comment as necessary.

Poll Topic: What is the most likely scenario should a Batface win a WSOP bracelet?

  1. Tim uses bracelet to cover his bald spot. Also, has bracelet tattooed on the arm of his "Wild Thing" tattoo.
  2. Celeste drops 87 pounds and loses bracelet in public bathroom when it slips off his waist.
  3. Freeze immediately loses it at Caesar's when he has to put it up for collateral on a four-way, six-bet black jack scenario.
  4. Todd pummels his cat to death with it because he "hates the people that made it."
  5. Randy wakes up in Thailand only to find his bracelet and his left kidney missing.
  6. Eric White casually throws bracelet into the safe containing his other $47 million.
  7. Sommer tricks out bracelet to make it the first ever Wi-Fi enabled WSOP bracelet.
  8. Thum brings home bracelet, shows it to his kids, and then beats the hell out of them claiming "that's what will happen to you if I EVER catch you screwing with it."
  9. Simmons has to trade bracelet for groceries after he maxes himself out on ATM withdrawals for the day.
  10. Shane straps bracelet to ankle claiming "it is only there for support".
  11. Zach Ballenger gives bracelet to his mother after realizing his father was too busy losing a $150 satellite to watch his final table performance.
  12. McGill storms into Wick's office, brandishes bracelet and knocks Wick unconscious claiming, "Take that, BITCH!"
  13. Wilonsky has bracelet melted down and made into miniature Oscar statue.
  14. Sang trades bracelet for "aggressive" handjobs.
  15. Dan Michalski tries to use bracelet as his in to get into Clonie's pants. After he fails, he consoles himself by eating corn dog dipped into mashed potatoes and gravy.
  16. Fawcett uses bracelet to decorate the new "in-law wing" at his house.

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