Sunday, June 08, 2008

Greatest Partner in the History of Ever

I was lucky to have Randy Brown (aka TBR or "Tibber", as I like to call him) as my partner for the 97th annual Bent Tree Member/Guest Golf Tournament. With substantial entry fees, players' pools and side bets on the line, we would have to play our asses of to keep from losing our shirts.

Tibber played like the champion he is and we actually bested the entire field of 71 teams. These are the top ten highlights of Randy's stellar play this week.

10. Par on 18, day one. After a decent drive, Tibber had a tough shot into a 35 mph wind from 185. Without a second thought, he laced a 4 iron to just behind the green and made two putts from behind the hole for a critical par.

9. Par on 7, day 2. After a pushed drive that nearly went out of bounds, Randy punched a mid- iron to 100 yards. From there he hit a solid wedge to 12 feet and made his putt for yet another critical par.

8. Par on 1, day 1. After rope hooking his tee shot into the wrong fairway, Tibber was faced with a difficult punch-rope hook to try and get the ball within 100 yards of the green. After several minutes of discussion and agreement as to how Randy would hit the shot, he stepped up to the ball and quickly hit an intentional snap slice the moved 60 yards to his left and on the front edge of the green. Once again, he made a solid two-putt for par.

7. Par on 17, day 3. Facing a challenging cross wind, Randy hit a skyscraper eclipsing tee ball that settled 15 feet from the hole. Then, facing an absurdly quick downhill putt, he made a nice lag giving himself a tap-in for a much-needed par.

6. Par on 11, Day 3. On the two prior rounds, Randy's tee shots were nowhere near being in play. On the final round he hit a 300-yard drive to within 100 yards of the hole. After a decent approach shot, he left his first putt some 8 feet short of the hole. Thinking he pushed his second putt, he early-walked to the hole only to his ball drop into the heart of the cup.

5. Birdie on 12, Day 1. After playing horribly through most of the day, Randy was faced with a difficult approach shot from 167 into a cross-wind. He laced a moon-shot 7-iron that held against the wind and settled less than 6 feet from the hole. He made his birdie putt and celebrated with a fist-pump.

4. Par on 16, Day 3. Playing the difficult par 5, Randy managed to keep his first two shots in play, but sent his approach with a pitching wedge some 65 feet past the front right pin. Then, putting over a swale, with to a severe right-to-left-breaking downgrade, Randy nestled his first putt to within 2 feet and made par. This might have been the winning shot of the entire tournament.

3. Birdie on 14, day 3. Playing the club's signature hole, Randy faced a difficult 172-yard shot to a downhill pin tucked behind a bunker. Without any hesitation, Randy hit a slight draw that took the slope of the green and settled 12 feet from the pin. He made his birdie putt (his 2nd of the tournament) and carted off closest to the pin honors on the hole. This carried an additional prize as well.

2. Staying in tact, Day 3. As the end of the 3rd round approached, Tibber sensed our team was in contention. To calm his nerves, he began drinking heavily. After the tournament was over and Randy realized he was a champion, he continued to imbibe in record proportions. Despite nearly knocking over several tables at the post-tournament reception...AND despite feigning death while nearly passing out in the lounge chairs outside of the pro shop, Randy DID NOT vomit despite several bets against him doing so.

1. At-home management. Although Tibber was supposed to be at home around 7:30 on the evening of the final round, he opted to stay at the club and celebrate his victory. When Mrs. TBR phoned at 8:30 pm to determine "where in the fuck he was," our hero engaged in the following tete-a-tete:

TBR: Hello?

Mrs. TBR: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't file for divorce right now.

TBR: Well, I just won thousands of dollars.

Mrs. TBR: Really?

TBR: Yeah. Do you know the sole reason why?

Mrs. TBR: Uh...why?

TBR: Me.

1 comment:

Tulsa said...

pure genius