Donkey Room in Trouble?

As reported over on Pokerati, last night Channel 8 ran an undercover report on poker rooms in Dallas with cameras in The Lounge and references to the Rounders Club. A Batface, who happened to be playing in the Rounders tourney at the time of the news telecast, reports that there was little concern and general laughter and amusement towards the story. The same Batface reports that 3-4 police cars were circling the location as he was leaving around 11pm (no doubt, having busted out while poorly executing some sort of ill-conceived bluff).

It seems like a matter of time before the North Dallas room that we "affectionately" call the Donkey Room has unwanted visitors.

Nice Layout, Creepy Thoughts

Our other favorite poker website has finally redesigned its web page to make it much more user friendly. My only concern is that it has posted pictures from our Batface Holiday Party last December, and now his group of derelicts, that have no life, can now fantasize about our wives and kids. Do like the random picture though except for TBR's kids. They have enough problems having him as a dad.

Now I know Gambling is ok

Interesting article by our favorite writer, The Sports Guy, about gambling. Hope you guys have a chance to visit with him during the WSOP.

Has Barry overplayed his hand?

A couple of weeks ago, Dan and I were discussing the allegedly tightened scrutiny on all media credentials for this year's WSOP (By the way, you'll note no more sweating of players by the media, a/k/a the "Shane Rule"). This blog entry on Cardplayer suggests that it will provide the "exclusive content" for results and chip counts. Huh? Isn't that like saying that ABC has the exclusive right to tell you what the final score of the Super Bowl was? Methinks First Amendment battles may be ahead. The line between Dan Michalski and Larry Flynt may have gotten even murkier...

My Awful Partner Retraction...Not

Woke up this morning feeling a little guilty for lambasting Randy. I was venting over an unlucky situation...and, Randy had actually played a decent round of golf the before which put us in 8th place of a field of over 70 teams.

However, after today's round, last night's post was justified. As I rethink Randy's round I can only recall Vic Morrow's line from The Bad News Bears wherein he offered this recap of the Bears season opener, "What I saw out there today made me sick."

It would take me 5000 words to do fair justice the abortion Randy manged today, but I will leave you with one anecdote.

Set-up: Our tournament is scored, not by how low your score is, but by how many points you receive. Birdies are worth 4 points, Pars get two points, bogeys count one point and anything above that is a zero.

The Situation: By mid-round, it is obvious Randy is worthless. Before a par three, I prodded him by saying, "On the tee-box, why don't you just whiff it four times and quit the hole." Randy giggled.

The Action: On the tee box, Randy pulls his first shot in the water. He goes to the drop area where he has a 90 yard pitch over the same water. This times, he chunks his ball and his shot goes in the drink after and unspectacular flight of, at most, 30 yards. Now laying four with no chance of making any points on the hole, Randy is resigned to spectator status.

The Recap: Randy managed a big fat zero for the hole. If he plays it the way I told him, he still scores zero points, but he still owns the two balls he dropped in the water. Ugh!

Randy, if you are reading this, I still love you. Just kidding.

Great suck out turns ugly

I just poker stoved my favorite hand I have ever been in and here it is...
TBR raised to $200 at 30/60 blinds utg and I moved all in for $490 total in the cutoff seat with ace queen of clubs and the button insta-all-ins behind me. Randy tanks and calls my all in and creates a nice side and main pot. Button had aces and Randy has 10s...button is 70%, TBR is 20% and I am 10% preflop. Flop of 2, 6, 8 all clubs gives me nut flush and I am now 96% and they are 2% each. Turn 8, river 8...nice boats guys. Shit, I mean at least let me take the side pot or something.

My Awful Partner

TBR is my partner in my club's meber-guest tournament. He is stupid, stupid, stupid-lucky at cards and he can't keep a golf ball in play.

I hate him.

Batfaces to the WSOP

Several Batfaces will be descending upon Vegas for the 2006 WSOP--initial trip scheduled for July 6-9. We are targeting the $2,500 NL Holdem Event on the 7th and $1,000 NL Holdem w/ re-buys on the 8th. Last year the $2,500 event had over 1,000 participants (check out Simon Trumper's trip report), and the $1,000 w/re-buys event had almost 1,500 re-buys.

Of course, Dantana will already be there (thanks for this photo), blogging about everything but the action.

I Will Win

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 1741853

Go Batfaces!

Can anyone explain this?

Why our homegame rocks

Last night I returned to the batface homegame after a three-week hiatus. In no particular order, I was sucked out on, drawn out on, donkeyed, uber-donkeyed (yes, that's you, Zach), condescended to and punched in the face by Shane. To cap the evening, I flopped the nuts from the small blind holding 86o (flop of 8-8-6), bet six cents into a $15 pot, and all 87 people folded. Maybe I should remember to never play at Shane's. Oh well, at least I threw several beer cans in his pool that he won't find for days.

Unknown factoid until last night: Shane, as big an idiot as he is, can actually play the drums pretty well. Odd.

Archive e-mail of the week: Underground with Clonie Gowen

Friday morning is usually spent the same way: get coffee, nurse hangover, get more coffee, send and receive 46,000 word e-mails re-capping previous night's BF homegame, get more coffee, and (occassionally) throw up in office thrash can. When a BF does a particularly humorous job of summarizing the game, or if Tiny B loses all of his money and vents at the world, I keep the e-mail in a folder marked "pantheon," in homage to the wise and wonderful Sports Guy (who, by the way, will be at the Main Event this year).

In any event, this fun little re-cap comes to us from Gentle Shane and Tulsa following a night of carding with Clonie back in the day. Everyone had been at Gonz's campaign fundraiser and decided to find an underground room for a little no limit afterwards.

First, from Shane:

OK, I think I can comment on some of this shit:

1. Don't remember all the details of the AK hand, except that I knew Clonie had at least two pair and probably better. Dan giggles and makes goo-goo eyes when he calls with Ace-high. Horrible, horrible play.

2. I spent the entire evening staring at Clonie's [censored lurid comment] as well. She knows how to work it. I think she plays [censored lurid comment] tag a lot.

3. So while we're driving to the stadium [near the underground room], Clonie clearly gets lost. We have something like 7 cars in a caravan and she is leading the way, but she has no idea where she's going. Instead of heading toward Texas Stadium, she goes south on 35 toward downtown. Then she exits near Regal Row (or someplace like that) AND TURNS LEFT (east) presumably to make a U-turn and go back North on I-35. The entrance lane is shut down for construction and she makes another u-turn so we've essentially made a lap. I'm thinking surely Clonie will correct her error and turn right, but she gets back in the left turn lane. I pull up next her on the right and scream, "Good god woman!?! What are you doing?" She laughed and said,
"I'm lost." I'm pretty sure she was [censored lurid comment] with herself at the time.

4. They had all kinds of food at the poker room. At one point, Clonie gets up from the table and comes back with a corn dog. I'm fairly certain that Dan got a boner immediately. Dan takes a food break and comes back with a corn dog and mashed potatoes with cream gravy. Apparently Dan thinks mashed potatoes and gravy make the perfect dipping sauce for corn dogs. Gross. Later Joe gets up and comes back with, get this, a chicken cordon bleu. Never one to pass up a fried "hamster" I join the feast.

5. There are a few older Playboy magazines sitting on a magazine rack. Todd examines one, but is summarily repulsed by the centerfold's unkempt nether-thatch. He makes his disgust known in an all-too loudly fashion.

6. I have K-J suited under the gun and I raise $3. Todd immediately puts me on K-J or 6-6 and he announces it to everyone at the table. He says something about remembering that I always play that hand. Whatever.

A few other points of observation:

*I told Clonie she could be an honorary Bat-Face. She had no idea what this was, but her response, whatever it was, gave Dan a boner. Later Clonie was talking about a few gigs she's gotten doing commentary for televised poker tournaments. I asked to her give us a shout-out next time she tapes a show by saying something like, "Wow, that was a Bat-Faced call."
* Chris, who was definitely trying too hard to fit in, spent a lot of time talking about his life as a swinger. Todd (who was sitting next to him) did a valiant job of trying to hide his dislike for both the speaker and the topic, but he just couldn't pull it off. BTW, is there anything more delicious than watching a thoroughly creeped-out Todd try not to act creeped-out?
* Late in the game, I'm up about $20 or so. I had won a lot of hands, but few for anything more than $40. I¹m BB and get dealt Q-5 spades. Everyone limps in, including Eric in mid-late position, and I check. Flop is 3-4-5 rainbow. Eric bets the pot, and I think I have him on at best a middle pair, but more likely two overcards. His bet just seemed like he was hoping to drive everyone out of the pot. I call and after the turn brings nothing Eric bets pot ($52) and I get all my chips in the pot. I don't have a great hand, but I'm sure Eric hasn't hit a pair. Of course, he turns over 2-6o for the straight. Dickhead!
* I re-buy and two hands later I get As-Kc. I raise it preflop and get Pfeiffle and Dan to call. Flop is Ks-Qs-7c. I bet, Dan calls, Eric raises, I re-raise, Dan folds and Eric calls. Turn is 4d and I get all but $10 in the pot. After the river comes 9d, I bet the last of my chips. Pfeiffle rolls over Qh-9h, for a river two pair. I silently curse Tim Rogers' name.
* BEST MOMENT OF THE EVENING: A lovelorn Dan is sitting across from Clonie, ogling everything about her. Awkwardly he blurts, "You have great teeth!" Of course, we never let him live it down. In the donkey hand above where I went against Eric, after he made a $52 raise, before I called, I tried to get some additional information. Eric wouldn't look at me, and when he finally did, I said "You have really nice teeth." Eric laughed nervously and I subsequently made the wrong call. From now on, always compliment Clonie on her teeth and watch Dan cringe.

From Eric:

1. Final accounting: I won $30 after being down $180 (much of which went to Joe C. when I was in the classic K-K vs. A-A tar pit). Much of this came when I brilliantly played that 6-2o and flopped a straight. Last hand I took $20 from Trip C (Creepy Crawly Chris) when I again flopped a straight with K-9. This was good because Chris may have the tightest game and the loosest cock in town.

2. The A-K hand early was awesome. I think the flop was Q-8-rag, then a 9, then rag. Dan first to act between the two (ALWAYS good), trying to muscle her out, talking to her, smiling, telling her what he has her ³on,² what his thinking is on the hand, just pure hilarity. She just keeps badgering him, swaying her [censored lurid comments] all but begging him to call. He makes his patented smirking double-pump final bet, the one where he raises both eyebrows high and lifts his head, and shows the A-K as if to say, "After I stare you down with A-high, I may have to glaze you like a warm donut, and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it." She turns over Q-9 (as I recall) and laughs at him.

3. After Dan's teeth comment, I started saying things to her like, "Action's on you, sweet teeth."

4. Chris was so creepy, he makes Dan's sweaty sexual innuendo sound like a reading of Sense and Sensibility ("Clonie has not your feelings, Danimal. Rick Fuller's reserve suits her." ... "But can he love her?" Dan asks. "Can the soul really be satisfied with such polite affections and pretty teeth?"). The way he made sure that Clonie knew he and his wife are swangers, as in "to swang," was so obvious and pathetic it would have only been funny if when he was done, during that awkward silence that only Todd throwing his chips and screaming "Motherfucker!" can usually bring, Capasso had punched Trip C in his Sam Cassell alien head. Was it me, or did he look like the dude in Munch"s ³The Scream"?

5. When Dan was, and I am not making this up, dipping his corn dog (that was covered in mustard) into his mashed potatoes (covered with cream gravy), he looked at me as he shoved half this horrific concoction in his mouth. I raised one eyebrow and said inquisitively, "Atkins?"

6. I think Straight Eric is going to kill himself.

7. Capasso (who again played very well (scary)) and I were the two last cars on this poker train, so it was extra hilarious to watch eight cars or so trying to speed through lights at the same time, make sharp turns through darkened warehouse districts, etc. It was like watching a drunken snake, only one shaped like a string of SUVs.

8. Clonie gave me one of her cell phones (weird) as we drove over in case we got lost, cuz my wife accidentally took mine home. Halfway into our tour of the Irving Industrial District, it rings. Caller ID says "Rick Fuller." I wasn't drunk enough, but my immediate thought was to answer the phone the way my college roommate used to: "The cock that rocks..."

9. I don't know how many of you caught this, but Clonie at one point was trying to teach Dan some things. She was quietly berating him and asking him questions like, "Dan, when you say 'my betting pattern,' what do you MEAN? Because I don't think you mean what everyone else means." After lots of "fair enoughs" and Clonie staring at Dan like an idiot and me staring at Clonie"s right [censored lurid comment] like an idiot, she smiled and shook her head. A hand or two later, it's very limpy. After the flop, a couple of players get their money in and Todd thinks for a while before laying down second pair with A-X, two spades (on spade on the board). He shows his cards to Dan, I believe. Of course, runner-runner are spades, and Todd woulda taken a huge pot. He goes OHHH, and makes some joke about how he should have stayed in because of course runner-runner would come. We all chuckle. Dan then shakes his head, smiles, looks off into space and sort of mutters, "You know, used to be, runner-runner was such a huge part of my game." Clonie put her head down and, I believe, thought to herself, "I can't believe I ever considering swapping cigarette ash with that donkey."

11. Bonus: When I arrived at Statos, my wife is talking to Clonie. She tells me, "She's from Oklahoma. We connected. I think she is very, very sweet." To which I said, "Did you see her tits?"

The Shadow DOES know...

Surfing around the web and noticed that we are 15th!!! in the hotly coveted shadows.com forum for "poker" sites. And by "hotly coveted," I mean inane and worthless.

We'll sell immediately. To the highest bidder. Let's start the bidding at 1.1 million. Go batfaces!

Pot luck? We'll bring Crystal Meth...

"Dot Com" doesn't post about poker much anymore, but like Dr. Pauly, you always keep checking to stay amused, poker or not (Check out Pauly's May 19th post on Keno). In his latest post, he takes a page from Keller's autobiography.

Speaking of Images

And for the other .286 percent of the world, there is Yahoo! Image Search. Once again, the results for pokerati are somewhat similar, somewhat different, but equally entertaining. For added laughs, check out page 3.

Get it?

Fun with Google Images

If you're like me, and you are basically an internet idiot, you probably haven't yet realized the genius of Google Images. If you're like 99.863% of the world, you already enjoy them. In any event, for giggles, I did an image search for "batfaces" a few months back, and Clonie was in the middle of page four among, as you might imagine, pictures of bats, batman, etc. Today I did an image search for "pokerati," and the page 1 results are absurd. Page 2 isn' t bad either... Go batfaces!

Bigger than Barbaro

I knew they were bringing H.O.R.S.E. back to the WSOP, but how did I miss that it was going to be a $50,000.00 buy-in??!! Check out the structure (Event 20) if you want a migrane. Also note it's limit until the final table, then no limit. How do you play no limit Omaha/8?

Meet My Uncle's Corpse, Vol. 1

Uhhh...nevermind.

Go TBR?

Meet the parents vol. 1

so I met Kelsey's parents tonight....the bone in filet at Nick and Sam's was a hit. Creamed corn was top notch....Kelsey's dad with "is your dick bigger than mine"...."no but my balls are". Technically a conversation between K and her dad but I overheard it and chuckled. She is currently telling me she has neither cock nor balls which I will support in whole. Live blogging from Adam's old condo will resume shortly. Or in the morning if Kelsey has her way. Night boys. Last 39 letters or so from Kelsey. Is he every technically "accurate"? Back to me...murmur.

Minh Raises

Speaking of Phil Gordon and min raises, here you go. I think his analysis is solid and basic, except he doesn't take into account players like Dan, who min raise because raising is fun.

Destination: Omaha

I've been playing a fair amount of PL Omaha Hi lately under the assumption that, while by no means a seasoned player, I can handle my own. Turns out, I might have been wrong. Very strategery-y, as it turns out. My head may have just exploded.

Oh well, you can't fight the lure of Rule #1.

$22 Party Poker SNGs

poker question here...

Fairly early in a SNG. Blinds are 25/50 I have only played about 4 of 35 hands and am not paying ANY attention to how anyone else is playing (Family Guy). I have 1700 chips after starting with 1500. UTG min raises to 100 and he has 695 left. I am third to act with pocket queens and raise to 300. Folds around to him and he pushes for the rest. Obviuosly I call and he has AK. Question is should I have just called the raise to see a flop or did I do the right thing or should I have gone all in...I felt quite sure when I made my bet he would come over the top if he had any kind of a hand which I certainly welcomed. Am I just over-post-tanking since he obviously flopped a King and it held up or should I have played it different? Or is discussing a $22 SNG completely pointless since they have to be the biggest donkey fest ever as even I am turning a profit?

Constructive or funny comments appreciated.

Phil Gordon wins the WSOP!!!

Funny little read from Phil Gordon on ESPN. I think everyone is getting pumped up for WSOP 2006. For a great time-kill, check out some of Phil's podcasts from 05. You will not be dissappointed.

David Williams = HOSE

David Williams, who has been in the news of late, defeated his mentor (poker mentor, I assume) Marcel Luske in a heads up battle for the $5000 H.O.S.E. event at Caesars. The victory over the 51 person field paid $91,250, or I'd guess approximately 189 times more than starring in Young Black Ass-Worship Slave might have paid.

With compliments and due credit to pokerati, has there every been a greater photo of Sang? I can't figure out whether the caption is:

(a) Hey, man, it's okay. It would have been tough to beat him anyway. Dan's, like, one of the best players in Dallas...";

(b) Hey, man, it's okay. I've seen Dan play 87 suited for all his chips before, too."; or

(c) Sang Yoo puts Kwon Bop sleeper hold on unsuspecting houseguest who pulled out cash to pay for pizza.

Going with your gut

I read a great article earlier this week from Matros about going with your instincts in a 50-50 situation. I'd like to the think that my instincts are one of my best attributes, but mainly I think they only seem pretty good because I'm not good at the numbery aspects of the game.

Last night I was playing 10-20 PLHE, and I was dealt AQo UTG in a six-handed game. I limped in, and the loose-aggressive player in the cut-off made it $95 to go. With $1300 in front of me, I elected to just call. The flop was A-7-9 with two hearts (I had the ace of hearts). I checked, and my opponent bet $200. I decided to call and see what developed on the turn. I was sure he didn't have aces, but it was just as likely that he had AK as JJ, QQ or TT, and I really thought at this point he had AK. The turn was a non-heart jack. I checked, and he bet $400. This was a hand I would often fold in this game, but here I decided to listen to my poker soul. For no reason I can articulate, I just didn't believe he had AK anymore, or JJ for that matter. In thinking back over the hand, I think he probably would have slowed down on the turn knowing I'm a very tight player and has called his flop bet, but on other hand, he could just as easily think that I'm on a flush draw. In any event, I just didn't think I was beat anymore, and I raised all in and took down the pot.

I think hands like these (and these) are what people who don't play a lot of poker really miss about it. If you play enough, particularly with some of the same players, there develops a rhythm to the game that, if you pay attention to, can help you make the right decisions in a tough spot.

Live Blog, Part 1

I was looking forward to live-blogging this afternoon on Fawcett's qualifying round for the Texas Amateur, which will be played in June at venerable Dallas Country Club. The Texas Am has an impressive history, with past winners including Ben Crenshaw, Tom Kite and Larry Seligmann. Shane was to caddy and report with hole by hole updates. However, our boy Scott was unable to make his early tee time this morning because he was still hammered from the previous night. Well done, Scott.

Ummm

Fawcett is learning...

Hmm....

Yikes. Very Tummy.

Things Fossilman May or May Not Have Said Last Last Night

1. I've played with a lot of great players...and Dan is about as good as any of them.
2. Where's Tim?
3. Shane, you ARE gay.
4. Are you guys sure you don't want to lower these stakes a little bit?
5. Comstock is a fucking jerk.

Well, he said at least one of these things.

Tips from Greg

Greg thinks aces are the best opening hand. He would go all in with aces against any hand pre-flop.

Donkey Dan

Surprisingly Dan just sucked out on
Raymer.

Carding with Fossilman

Tonight our gentle batface homegame will have the pleasure of testing our NL holdem mettle against the 2004 Main Event champion, Greg "Fossilman" Raymer. You may recall we were lucky enough to play with the 04 runner-up, David Williams, here and here. I'm sure Tulsa will wow us with phony tanks and big laydowns, and Tiny B will play his usual, tight-passive game. For me, I'll just try to keep on dominating.

Oh, Thanks, Donkey. And About That $4K...

As always, Phil Gordon proves he is the best poker columnist going. Direct, poker-related, insightful. Oh, and a nice dig at the end when he asks for his chit from The Mouth.

Nice Bet

Barry Greenstein is a great poker player. Joe Sebok is Barry's son. Joe is not a great poker player. If you read his entertaining blog on CardPlayer, you probably already know this. Here's one more example of his Michalski/Fawcett/Tum-like play, getting eliminated early in a tournament with a nice stack of chips by playing Q7 off-suit, out of position against John Juanda. Also TBR will be rooting against him at this years' WSOP, because of this bet he made Gavin.

Batface Links Tourney Update: Post Round One

Following a disappointing opening round, our heroes opted to vent some steam by touring Tyler's finest entertainment establishments. Unfortunately, the evening turned sour as Scott and Todd may or may not have gottrn drunk enough to:

• piss off their early evening hosts
• visited one of Tyler, Texas' nightspots, but completely forgotten the experience
• raced an 18-wheeler on the Interstate
• failed to entice any of the locals back to their hotel for a booty call
• gotten lost on the loop encircling Tyler
• consumed a plethora of Church's Chicken, again only to forget the experience
• vomited

Interestingly, our heroes may not have been the drunkest Batfaces this evening...or even the drunkest idiots in Texas. That honor may go to Batface exmplar Mark Craig, who may or may no longer be a member of Bent Tree Country Club, pending and emergency meeting of the board of directors and the disciplinary council. Additionally, Mark's girlfriend has also now eraned the title of honorary Batface.

These drunken exploits were greeted wholeheartedly by fellow Batface moron Tim Rogers.

Uh...go Batfaces?

Batface Links: Tourney Update...The End of the Round

At last, the round from hell is over. The gents parred the final hole to card a two-over par 74. At ten shots back they have a lot of ground to make up in the next few days. Still, with this round behind them, a good dinner in their bellies and a relaxing evening enjoying the sites and entertainment in Tyler, Texas, we expect our heroes to come back strong.

Go Batfaces!

Batface Links: Tourney Update #11

Unable to keep up their momentum, the boys just let their skirts fly up, making bogey on the short 167-yard, par three 17th hole.

Batface Links: Tourney Update #11

Known for his prodigious length off the tee, Scott Fawcett manhandled the 564-yard par five 16th hole. After blasting his drive in excess of 340 yards, he hit his long iron approach to the center of the green to set up an easy two-putt birdie. Our heroes now stand at just one over par for the round.

Batface Links: Tourney Update #10

Thank God! Todd managed abirdie on the 522-yard par 5 13th hole. After nutting his drive down the fairway, he laid up on his approach to set up a short wedge shot. He stiffed his wedge to 6 feet and made the birdie putt.

Batface Links:Tourney Update #9

The troubles continue for our heroes. They inexpicably double-bogeyed the 415-yard par fourther when both of their tee shots found the drink to the right of the fairway. Then Scott's ball went swimming again when he again found the water with his tee shot on the 408-yard par four 12th.

Todd Phillips said, "Shit."

Batface Links: Tourney Update #8

Bad news, sports fans, our heroes just ran into some bad luck. WIth Todd struggling on the tricky 343-yard par four tenth, Scott Fawcett's par was important. However, upon retrieiving his ball from the cup after making his par putt, Scott realized that the ball he finished the hole with was not his Titelist ProV1x, but rather a Fila Duro-Feel. He had mistakenly played the wrong ball on his second shot.

Our heroes had to settle for Phillips bogey and now sit at one over for the round.

Batface Links: Tourney Update #7

Our heroes scrambled like mad to par the short 388-yard par four ninth. After blowing his tee shot right, Scott Fawcett played his second shot short and right into the green side bunker. He then left his third shot from the trap 15 feet short of the pin. However, he redeemed himself by making his par putt. Fawcett celebrated the putt by chugging beer number three.

We sense interpersonal problems between our heroes, though. Just as he finished his beer, Fawcett firmly slapped Todd Phillips on the ass. Todd replied asking, "Hey asshole, just let me know when you plan on making a birdie, ok?"

Batface Links: Tourney Update #6

After hitting his tee shot stiff on the 223-yard par three eighth hole, Todd Phillps choked on his four foot birdie attempt and settled for par.

Batface Links: Tourney Update #5

On the par four 432-yard par four dog leg seventh hole, Scott Fawcett just shotgunned his second beer.

Batface Links: #4

ToddPhillips missed a golden opportunity for birdie on the treacherous 488-yard, par four sixth hole. After failing to hit his approach shot on the green, he lined up his chip from 35 feet. His ball lipped out of the hole and he settled for par.

Batface Links: Tourney Update #3

Our heroes just manged their first birdie on the difficult 212-yard par 3 fifth hole. Todd Phillips hit his tee shot to 12 feet and then canned his birdie putt to bring their score back to even.

Interestingly, Scott Fawcett whiffed his tee shot when his beer bong got tangled up in his back swing and prevented him from hitting the ball. Scott quit the hole in utter disgust.

Batface Links: Tourney Update #2

After a rocky start, our heroes have parred the next two holes. Scott Fawcett has just consumed his first beer in an effort to settle his nerves.

Batface Links: Tourney Update #1

Our heroes are off to a slow start having bogeyed the first hole, a long 467-yard dogleg left par four. Todd Phillips pulled his tee shot left only to have his ball rest between two roots of an oak tree. After having to declare an unplayable lie, Phillips punched his approach shot to well short of the green and picked up his ball with little hope of making better than double bogey.

Playing aggressively, Scott Fawcett bombed his tee shot over the dogleg, but he hit it through the fairway, where his ball carromed off an unsuspecting fan in the gallery and came to rest on top of a styrofoam cooler. Fawcett punched his second shot back into the fair, destroying the cooler. His thrid shot landed just twelve feet from the hole, but he missed his par putt and settled for bogey.

At one-over, our heroes stand just four strokes out of the lead and on pace for a first round score of 90.

On a side note, the owner of the destroyed styrofoam cooler was overheard saying," How am I supposed to keep my fuckin' Mickey's cold now? Damn that Scott Fawcett. Damn him."

Batface Links

While strange things were amiss in our home game, Batface linksters Scott Fawcett and Todd Phillips made their way to the prestigious 73rd Annual Azalea Invitational Partnership Golf Tournament in Tyler, Texas. This prestigious event pits the top amateur golfers from around the state in a star-studded three day day event.

Some amazing history surrounds the Azalea. First, it is the longest contiguous USGA sanctioned event in the United States. Also, to the chagrin of fellow Batface Tim Rogers (now on Octuple Secret Batface Probation), the Azalea was the first such event to eliminate segregationist match rules when the 1962btournament committee invited heraleded amateurs Jose "El Gato"Cabrinez and Atticus MacLean "The Cat" McOnaghey, III to compete.

The inaugral Azalea was won by pair of up and coming Texans by the name of Ben Hogan and Byron Nelson. In fact, it is claimed that Nelson and Hogan both met their future wives at the Azalea, although the future Mrs. Hogan was actually the date of Mr. Nelson and vice versa. In fact, Ben Hogan was almost disqualified from the event after being caught in flagrante delicto in a Tyler boarding house with the future Mrs. Nelson.

Since then, several legendary golfers have launched their careers by winning the Azalea, including: Tommy Bolt, Al Geiberger, Jack Nicklaus, Lee Trevino, Tome Kite, Ben Crenshaw, Matt Kuchar, Mark Craig and Sergio Garcia.

Assuming our satellite uplink remains intact, we'll be recounting the on course play of our two Batface heroes, Messrs. Fawcett and Phillips.

Stay tuned...




UPDATE: Fawcett and Phillips report that the pre-tournament gala featured music by the Neville Brothers and Anthrax. Phillips also said the poached salmon was "fuckin' tasty".

TBR Can See the Future

Little did TBR realize that the picture he posted on Wednesday would more accurately describe our home game last night. It is a shame. Want to post about it, but just can't.

The Sky. Is. FALLING.

Only in poker could our good buddy at pokerati have any street cred. Awesome.

Gone Missing

Something is definitely up. I believe this picture proves there was some sort of conspiracy involving these three people that only now is coming to light.

First, several sources tell me that noted Dallas law monkey TBR didn't spend his Monday or Tuesday mornings accosting the homeless for the first time in recent memory. There are rumors that he was seen here, specifically at The Sunglass Hut, then later spotted smirking, drinking a large Orange Julius, and "riverdancing" while watching teenage girls ice skate.

Second, noted FoB Clonie Gowen was, according to her web site, supposed to play in the WPT World Poker Challenge in Reno. But according to the Pokerwire updates, she didn't make it. Anyone check Dan's place? Didn't we hide his roofies?

Third, Lou Diamond Phillips's new movie, Bloodlines, in which he plays the badass lead role of Eugene "Vash" Vasher (don't ever call him "Eugene"), seems to have vanished from theaters.

UPDATE: While I remain confused as to the whereabouts of Clonie and TBR, I have found LDP. Apparently, he's been working on a video to help Dan with his game.

Batface for Mayor

Zac Crain hasn't played cards with us in a while, but he's still an official FOB (Friend of the Batfaces). Just wanted to remind folks that he will be all up in this political piece come 07, bitches. See his sweet mayoral outline here. And then ask yourself, would we really have these problems if Zac Crain were mayor of Dallas? Go Zac Crain!

P.S.: I stole this photo from Dan. You should read his poker site. The dealer in this photo is Chantel. I love Chantel. Just FYI. Go Lodge! Go Batfaces! Go Poker!

Donkey Night Analysis

A recap of the recent Batface Thurs. night game, for those who care.

Thum WAS in rare form.

I feel like I should clarify some things:

Last night's play was uniformly excellent. I'm not kidding. People played hands aggressively, re-raised at good times, made some excellent river calls when semi-bluffs didn't get there (a couple of times these calls were against me). There were a couple of donkey hands, although not the ones Adam mentions, for reasons it makes no sense to go into. The hand where Adam turned a straight against my top pair, top kicker, for example, was well-played by him, calling a pre-flop raise in position with two other callers with 6-8 [not 5-7]. To him, it FELT like he donkeyed me, but only because the reason he made the call was because he was tilty and it was his big blind. But the play was solid, and when he took down a big pot, it was the others at the table who called donkey, not me. In fact, I misplayed the hand and shouldn't have lost as much as I did.

I will say that one of the biggest donkey hands of the night was when I called a $5 raise from Fawcett with garbage and hit it, but primarily because Fawcett is good enough to get away from hands, and rarely pays people off, and he didn't there. Which is why every single one of Thum's plays made perfect sense -- he called aggressive raises from people who like to fire chips at people with less than made, because he was holding small connectors or one-holers into multiway pots where he could easily fold if he hit nothing or take huge pots if he hit, which he did more than once. This also made his truly strong pre-flop hands more effective, so that when he had, in three consecutive hands, Q-Q, Q-Q, A-A, he was again paid off, except the first time when his Q-Q ran into my K-K.

If we want to talk about bad plays, the worst play of the night easily was made by me. It was the one that helped Tim go from 500 down to 300 down. Five limpers, and with A-Ks in the big blind I raise to $10. Three callers, including Tim, who announces, Fuck it, I'm tilting. Flop comes A-Q-10 with 2 diamonds. Checked to Tim, who fires $30 at the pot. Folded to me, and I tank a bit, deciding he has a weak ace or something like K-Q, a pair with a gut-buster draw. I make the worst play I could possibly make there and call. Turn is a 5, Tim bets $50, I push all in, he calls with A-5. Just a horrible play by Tulsa. Again, people were screaming that Tim donkeyed me, but that was a hand that I allowed him to take control of and was too scared to push when I should have.

Oh, another interesting hand. Four players, fairly limpy, flop comes 10-8-7 rainbow. I bet, Thum raises big, Tim pushes all in, I go into a monster tank with 10-8. I fold, Thum calls, $400 in the pot, both show 6-9, river is an 8, I woulda tripled up. I may have cursed. Dan called later to tell me it was bad poker to fold the winner.

Donkey Night at Fawcett's

I didn't play cards last night. Here are a couple reports on what I missed. Sounds like Tum, who won for the first time since August, was extra Tummy.

- Thum was extra table captain-y. My favorite part was when Eric knocked over a few drops of after dealing. In one breath, Thum told Eric to get some paper towel (he pointed to the kitchen in case Eric didn't know where to go), told Aaron to take over shuffling duties from Eric, told me to change the TV to the Mavericks game, AND was able to identify the Van Halen song on the radio.
- At one point Thum talk-sang some Jethro Tull song, I seriously thought about punching myself in the face to try and knock myself out. Also, does fawcett own stock in minute maid?

Add this one to your bookmarks...

Mike May, east coast poker player and close friend of my man-grushee, has a neat little blog. Check out the post on his main event experience. I think he does as good a job as anyone has describing the experience, especially for all the non-seasoned pros.

Also, check out his great post on the Farha-Sheiky coin-flip. That's me in the Walter hat.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

GO BATFACES!

Hoopsy for Having

Poker is about making new friends. With that in mind, we've decided to open up the annual Batface NCAA Tournement Pick'em to the tens of readers that enjoy this blog daily. It's free to enter, and the winner will win.

In order to join the group, just go to http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/men and click on the "Sign Up" button to create a team. After completing registration, or if you already have a team, click the "Create or Join Group" button and follow the path to join an existing private group. Then, when prompted, enter the following information...

Group ID#: 102788
Password: veryflushy

Deco Chic Takes Huge Step up Poker Ladder

I'm on a break from poker. I figured that would mean I was away from blogging as well, unless I happened to come across something that couldn't be missed. I did.

We've found it strange that no one, including Pokerati, has heard from Dan since he and Deco Chic embarked on the Party Poker cruise. We've considered all the options...computer problems, he lost his cruise tickets, heavy drinking, but now it's clear he's disappeared at the hands of Mike Sexton.

Thanks to this blog, for the proof.

Running Good

It's been hard to do much pokering of late due to my life changes and what not. Fortunately, I've been able to sneak in a few hours with the BF homegame every Thursday night to keep my mind off of all things careery. Sometimes the BF game can be frustratey, cally, drinky and stupid, even forcing people to give up the game for Lent. And sometimes, no matter how hard you try and how bad you play, you just continue to get there.

The cards have absolutely runneth over me in the past month plus with nary a bit of help from me. Last week, I sat down late, and the first hand I was dealt queens. I bet it, it was called in 46 spots, an ace AND king flopped, somehow it was checked around TWICE, and I rivered the nut flush to double up. Last night, I sat down late, was dealt JTo, flopped two pair and more than doubled up. That has repeated itself in some form or fashion throughout the last several nights of poker. I may not be the best player at our player, but I'm certainly the luckiest (or at least the second-luckiest, since Tulsa still plays in the game).

DanHammer Worm Infects Internet Poker Sites; Suckouts Abound; Tagg Breaks Laptop, Kills Self

[image thanks to and via the Mad Man]

Listen Up, Tiny B

This is why folks like Tiny B and other Batfaces who berate loose play should take a lesson from Felicia Lee, who ruminates on the psychology of good poker. She explains why part of that is being tolerant of bad poker. My favorite sentence of the post is as follows:

4) I realize that poker is not chess, it is poker, and that I rarely have even as much as 5% of an advantage over the worst player at the table, because of the luck factor

Where is the Celestey J.C. Tran?

Good column wondering how they chose the folks they did for the Heads-up Tourney on NBC. Suffice to say the Asians ain't happy. Are they, Sang?

Daniel Straight

Neg takes out Clout. Ouchie hand from Pokerwire:

Daniel Negreanu knocks out TJ Cloutier
Daniel Negreanu limped in pre-flop, TJ Cloutier raised,and Negreanu called. The flop came
[10♣][7♠][3♦] and both players checked. The turn came
[8♠], Cloutier bet 20k and Negreanu called. The river came [3♣], Cloutier moved all in and Negreanu called. The players turned up:

Daniel Negreanu [J][9]
TJ Cloutier [10♥][7♣]

Daniel Negreanu eliminated TJ Cloutier with his straight. TJ Cloutier took home $25,000.

Here is DN's take on his day. Looks like his strategy paid off, as it usually does when you're drawing inside on the turn. (Can you fault T.J. for checking the flop there? Discuss.)

T.J. in the Hizzay

From Pokerwire:

TJ Cloutier busts Phil Laak
TJ Cloutier raised to 6k pre-flop and Phil Laak pushed all in. Cloutier called, and the players showed:

TJ Cloutier [Q♠][Q♣]
Phil Laak [7♣][7♥]

The board came [J][8][5][A♥][3♦] and TJ Cloutier eliminated Phil Laak with his pocket [Q]s.

Next he goes up against Daniel Negraueaneannneueau. (sp?)

Go T.J.! Go Poker! Go Home Game! Go Grifting!

Heads up! Crackers coming!

With apologies to The No. 1 Stunna, the most well-known heads-up activity in the nation got underway yesterday, and, per usual, Lasvegasvegas.com has the best coverage. Can't wait to hear how the second-round battle between T.J. Cloutier and Jennifer Tilly's hooded man-bitch works out. And if you think that sounds like jealousy, you are spot-on, bee-yotch. Erry-buddy sing!

Better raise up (raise up!)

Big chips if ya made something

Another Batface Blogger

It looks as if there is more competition amongst The Batfaces on who is the king of blogging. Our lovely and upbeat Robert, who on the side is a model for Sharp televisions, oversees this new blog. My only concern with his blog is that Gonz is a contributer. We've seen what he can do to a blog.

The Sports Guy Does Poker

Now that my favorite writer is going to the WSOP, I might have to stop by. Will Sommer be able to get us passes?

Donkey's

Somehow Peaches found time during his workday to surf ESPN.COM. He came across a pretty funny article on "Donkeyism". Again, since I can't write I will let others humor you.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/poker/columns/story?columnist=bluff_magazine&id=2347956

Your Source For Clonie News

Clonie Gowen is a Day 1, Heat 2 (whatever that means) elimination in the Bay 101 Shooting Stars tourney. TBR, recognize this play? I have spent years making you my bitch with similar donkey moves:

[From pokerwire.com]

Clonie raised to 150 preflop and Ali Eslami called. The flop came [4][6][7] with two [♦]. Gowen bet 250, Eslami raised to 1,325, Gowen reraised to 4,500, Eslami pushed all in for a total of 10k, and Gowen called. The players showed:

Clonie Gowen [K][K]
Ali Eslami [6♥][7♥]

The turn and river were blanks and Gowen was eliminated.

Damn?

Tulsa told me I had to post this e-mail recapping my adventures at the Kowboys Tourney over the weekend. If you hate it, blame him.

Full field of 60 players. Scott and I played.

I drew a table that included four players who made the final table from the last $300 buy-in, plus a gent by the name of Damon, considered by many to be the best player in the field (even over Merkow).

For the most part, play was solid. Every table probably had three weak players. Structure was player friendly. Everyone started with $10k in chips and first blinds were $25-$50. Blind levels lasted 25 minutes.

Fawcett lost $5000 on the first hand when the small blind whacked him with aces. Action at my table was fairly tight with few pots worth more than $2000 during the first four levels. Won three hands before the first break without having to show anything down. Chip stack was $12,000 with the average stack around $10,500.

Saw nothing during the next four levels and my chip stack dwindled to around $10,500.

Interestingly, going in to the second break, there were still 54 players alive.

Played these hands after the second break that tolled my end:

· Blinds $300-$600. First position goes all-in for less with $400. Fold to me in the small blind and I call with 7d2d. BB calls. Flop comes rags, but I pair my deuce. I lead out for $1000. BB folds showing A-4. All-in shows 8-3 and the hammer holds.
· Blinds $300-$600. With three callers in front of me, I call with KQ in SB. Player to my left (who had a lot of chips, but only because he sucked out five times, raises to $1800. Two of the three callers call again, and now thinking that I can only get in trouble with KQ I fold. Flop comes K-rag-rag. SB and a tight player spit at each other, with SB ultimately taking down a $12,000 pot. Turns out he had ace-high, while the tight player folded pocket 5’s. Ugh.
· Blinds $500-$1000. I am on the button. All fold to player to my right who calls. I have KJo and feel I can take the pot down right there. Only player I am concerned with is BB who is short-stacked, but has laid down a lot of hands. I know he won’t call unless he has something big. I raise to $3500. SB folds and BB goes into the tank. He reluctantly shoves the rest of his stack into the middle (just over $5000). First bettor folds. Now pot-stuck, I call. BB turns over As9s. Makes his flush on the river, although I was never ahead. He later said he was getting impatient and thought he was behind when he made the call. Unfortunate time to bluff on my part.
· Now seriously short stacked, I go all-in with JJ and dipshit to my left calls saying, “Sorry, but I got you.” He turns over A-Q(?). My jacks hold.
· Two hands later I go all-in with QQ and the other donkey at our table re-raises all in to isolate me and turns over K-9. King on the flop and another on the turn and I am out in the mid-30’s (and it is after 11pm). The guy who crushed me had around $45k in chips at that point and had the largest stack at the table by a margin of over 2-to-1. Within 20 minutes he was down to $5k. Dick.

Saw this hand early on:

With blinds at $75-$150, UTG raises to $500. UTG+1 re-raises to $1000. UTG+3 calls (the donkey who ultimately knocked me out). UTG re-re raises to $2000. UTG+1 moves all-in. UTG+3 calls. UTG folds. UTG shows AKs. UTG+1 holds KK. UTG holds AA. Aces hold.

On the whole, though, solid play and a well-run tournament. Not only that, but those that placed in the tournament actually received their prizes that evening.

Damn

Shane and I played in the $500 tournament at Kowboy's on Friday night. Also in attendance were Rounder clubbers Como and Alicia.

I went out about 42nd after donking off half my chips on the FIRST hand of the night from the button when the SB had pocket aces...damn. Shane went all in and got fairly crippled with decent hand only to get pocket queens on the very next hand...damn timing. As for Como, I was just watching Shane get busted when I look one table over and see Como with all his chips in the middle looking at me and shaking his head. So I shot over there and did not have a chance to look the board over when the river was dealt an 8. All I had time to see was Como's pocket 8's face up so I gave a little celebratory cheer only for him to say "no Fawcett that makes his straight"...damn straight. Not sure how Alicia ended up as Como and I had to head to Knox Street pub where we found an EXTREMELY drinky Tiny B, Freeze, and Zach B. I am "only" 32 but it feels on the verge of pedophillia watching a bunch of 30-35 year old men stand in a corner and discuss 22 year old girls dancing abilities...damn aging.

Clonie Out 8th

Clonie played great, getting knocked out on the TV bubble +1. (Details here.) She finished 8th when her 10-10 couldn't overcome Barry Greenstein's J-J. No word on whether or not Clonie, when she called Greenstein's re-raise of $250K, muttered the famous Sang line, "Fuck it, crack 'em." In related news, the people with whom she's pictured below, Jerome Bettis and TBR, can't seem to dislodge the magic horseshoes they find crammed up their asses. Bettis gets credit for delivering a Super Bowl with his 2.2 yards per carry, and Pink gets credit for playing good poker when people hand him money.

As my rankings indicated, though, people aren't giving this guy enough credit as a rising Batface star.

Clonie Is On Top

Well, that might be stretching it. But the honorary Batface is not on the bottom. She is currently 35th of 98 players left in the L.A. Poker Classic WPT Invitational, sandwiched between Barry Greenstein and Johan Storakers (who finished second to Alex Brenes last year). As one of the four Batfaces whom Clonie doesn't hate, and as someone who danced with her as recently as two weeks ago, I feel compelled to offer not only my sympathy but my support as well: Go Batfaces!

Yet Another Reason Danang is Dicey

When we gather for our regular weeknight home game ("Go Home Game!") in Dicey East Dallas, a few hundred feet from a recent murder, I often wonder if I'm the only one who thinks we're sitting ducks. I wonder if I'm the only one occasionally looking out the window, worried about a gun-wielding maniac bursting through the front door. Apparently not.

Shane makes me smile

In case nobody is aware Andy Beal is smart... www.bealconjecture.com if you don't have much to do.

Since I have no ability to write WHATSOEVER, I will just post Shane's humor. Below is his email to me after our deep discussion of the assertions Beal makes in his conjecture.



Can’t you just imagine the interesting table talk resulting from this?

Doyle Brunson: Andy, you might have a hand here, but I feel like gambling. I’ll raise.
Andy Beal: That’s an interesting perspective, Doyle. I remember when I was noodling around on Fermat’s Last Theorem, or “FLT” as we numbers enthusiasts like to call it. At many times, I felt like I just had to stop looking solely at empirical data and start taking some risks, albeit educated ones.
DB: I don’t know what you just said. You said something about noodles and an empire. There was this old Chinese restaurant in Beaumont called “Royal Empire”. I never ate noodles there, though.
AB: I’ll re-raise. However, I’m talking about a mathematical equation. It relates to the supposed impossibility of any two co-prime numbers being raised to an identical exponent and their sum equaling a corresponding sum when raised to the same exponent.
DB: Uh, OK. You know, I killed a man once.

Know When to Fold Them

We had our home game last night instead of our typical Thursday night, and my play remained as poor as it has all year. Even though I had a good couple of weeks lately, I sucked badly last night. I don't know if it was that I didn't get many hands so I was bored to death, or just wasn't into the game last night. I let several people draw for free, which came back to bite me in the ass on the turn and river. However, my biggest problem has been knowing when to lay down a hand. I got suckered into several river bets which I should have known I was beat. I had several strong second place hands but could have saved a ton of money by just folding. The only highlight was beating Scott heads up finally after the game.

I know my blogs lack much entertainment value, but at least it is a post.

Okie Update

I know that the plethora of readers we have out there in the blogger world would love to hear how the great TBR and other Batfaces did in Oklahoma this past week.

table captain goes supernova

this is very bad news for our home game.

I am going to play poker

at the Oklahoma State Poker Championship in Tulsa this week. I'll be there tomorrow and Friday, trying to qualify for the Main Event on Sunday and/or the PL Holdem Event Friday night. Come out and take a shot if you've got nothing better to do. Look for me, I'll be the one screaming "re-buy!" Batface Tagg should be there by Sunday, and maybe we can even convince Tulsa to make an appearance at his namesake.

Scott Fawcett should come out following his recent 2nd place finish in the charity event, but methinks he too scared.

My street cred...

I know I rebought 5 times and bought a seat at the final table, but where did Randy's post go?

Fo Shizzle

Looks like Snoop Dogg is getting in on the poker craze. He is hosting a $2 million tournament on a boat off Miami with various rappers and other entertainers. Not sure if that will be a tournament I will be entering. Will there be a "West Coast vs. East Coast" side bet?

Winner

As you probably know by now, Negreanu ended up winning $755k for first place at the WSOP Circuit Main Event in Tunica. He played very well, just ask him.

Another $10K Event in Tunica

Danny Negreanu, who has followed the best stretch of tournament poker ever in 2004 and early 2005 with a slump that has his critics questioning his committment and ability to adapt his play, is close to breaking through. To put it in perspective, Negreanu has made around 30K less than TBR in tournament play over the last 10 months. As Day 3 continues at the WSOP Circuit Main Event in Tunica, 21 players remain (top 18 make the money) and Negreanu is among the chip leaders. You can follow the action here.

WPTunica

They've battled to the final 6 at the WPT Event at the Goldstrike in Tunica. Heavyweights Scotty Nguyen, Michael Mizrachi, An Tran and Gavin Smith (TBR + Gavin = Love) are still alive battling for the nearly $1,000,000 first prize. Just missing the final table was Dallasite and Pokerati Man Crush Rodeen Talebi, who has to settle for 8th place and $50,342.

Alt Hed: When Man Crushes Collide

UPDATE - NGUYEN WINS

Rankings

Here they are. If you like them and wish to make a positive comment, please address it to me. If you are unhappy, offended, irritated or embarrassed, please contact Shane. If you aren't a batface and don't like inside-jokes and gay porn, I suggest you go elsewhere.

Also, PI 8th place finisher Zach B (Son of Sue) was not ranked due to excessive absence from the home game in 2005. Had he been ranked, I'm sure he would have made the top 17.

The Reason for This Site's Existence

The Batfaces played in a tournament Saturday and did poorly. One year ago, we would have detailed this on Dan Michalski's web site. The reason The Batfaces site exists is because most of us are fascinated by how the confluence of math, personality, and luck conspire to make poker so addictive. The reason this site exists is to explore this (as well as to chronicle other poker-related b.s.), and Dan, bless his heart, isn't capable of understanding this. He believes if you win, you are good, and if you lose, you are bad, and that is the heart of what makes posts such as this so funny, in a sad sorta way. Taking my play as an example, he doesn't realize that I played better in this tournament than I did in a 50-person Platinum Room tourney a few weeks back, even though I came in fourth in the PR tourney. To him, that is impossible. To place 25th is worse than placing 4th, therefore you must have played worse. To argue this point with him is to argue with an anthropomorphic bong.

Quick example of how results don't indicate good decisions: I went out in 25th-or-so place in both this weekend's tourney and the TBR tourney last year. Both times I was all-in pre-flop with 99s against A-10 suited. Both times a 10 came on the flop and I was out. In the TBR, I played the hand horribly and felt awful. Here, I played it the only way I could and got out-raced.

At the TBR, I was in early position and, for some reason (scared of everyone behind me, looking to hit a monster if I tripped up, something stupid like that) simply called the BB. Three others called before Adam raised it in late position. Now, I should have folded here with everyone to act behind me. OR I should have raised before the turn and had a better read of what was going on. I did neither, obviously. At this point, I re-raised all-in, was called by A-10 behind me (who thought I was trying to steal), and I lost heads-up. I hated the way I played the hand.

Saturday, however, it was pretty simple: I had been crippled when someone decided that, even with Kings, he was going to push all in after the flop with an ace and after I raised all-in. He was in fuck-it, go home mode, and so even though I made a sound play to represent the ace, I didn't take his mood into account and was properly punished for it. After that, I only have 5 times the BB, so when I see 99, I push in, am called by A-10 suited, 10 comes, that's life.

At the TBR, I played a hand poorly and was punished. At the Invitational on Saturday, my biggest poor decision was not to re-raise a too-aggressive player in an earlier post-flop situation, which would have given me enough chips to survive the mis-read I made on the guy ready to push and go home. Seemingly similar last hands and place-finishes had nothing to do with a self-evaluation of my play.

I hate 2006

So far in the year 2006, I have yet to win at our home game, lost twice on the river in heads up, won once in heads up, but that was against Dan, and came in 49th out of 50th place in the Pokerati Invitational. I have been criticized, well deserved, for my poorly written blogs. I guess Todd has been right all along, I suck at poker and doubly suck writing about it.

One thing I do find interesting is that our esteemed colleague, Dan, hosted that great tournament this weekend and wrote about it on his web page. The only problem was that he had no problem listing how terrible most of The Batfaces did, but he didn't mention who won the tournament. Only Karridy, who was runner up. Did I miss something? If I did, I'm sure someone will let me know.

Tournament Weekend

This weekend we have the competing web page who sometimes break stories before us, invitational tournament Saturday. Expecting around 70 people including most of the batfaces. Also, we should have the results of the annual batface rankings. Should make for lots of good blogging in the next week.

My new Gavin

I've been reading his blog for a long time, and it keeps getting better and better, especially if you play a lot of tournies online. Spend a few minutes scrolling through his poker journal when you have a chance. Warning: very mathy for having.

Hey Matt, can we put him on our helpy links list?

Because Pokerati hasn't gotten to it

Plano's Gregg Merkow won another tourney in Tunica. Not a bad return on his $500. You wonder why his name sounds familiar. It's because he was mentioned here about a month ago.

Why does Southwest make it so easy to get to Vegas?

Somehow in the midst of Rose Bowl celebration in Pasadena, I decided that it would be a good idea to spend a couple more days celebrating in Vegas before returning to Dallas. Less than six hours later I was watching Gus Hansen, Johnny Chan, Sam Farha, Chip Reese and David Benyamine eat breakfast in the Bellagio Poker Room. I played little poker on Thursday as I caught up on sleep and sobriety. Despite the distractions that Vegas provides, I planned on Friday being a day of solid, if not spectacular Tiny B poker. Caesars' new poker room was the setting for a noon $130 tourney that Freeze and I entered. I ran over my table for the first two levels (40 minute levels) running my starting stack of 4,500 to over 15K until I lost consecutive hands with QQ, the second time all-in pre-flop against KK. Back around par, I was unable to make anything happen and finished 16th or so in the 40 person field. Acording to Freeze, the story of this tournament was Freeze, who finished in an even four-way chop that resulted in a $1000+ pay day. Later that night/the next morning while I was giving away money at the blackjack table, Freeze asked no less than a dozen times if I was going to blog about his victory. He played very well, a game with which I didn't think he was familiar. He only got lucky once and made two huge laydowns that kept him alive. It must have been his week, because I even witnessed him have a winning blackjack session later that evening.
Shane, who was rumored to be in Vegas working, finally left his clients long enough to appear Friday night in time to join me at Caesars for the evening $230 tourney. Once again, four spots were being paid from the 35ish entry field. I have no doubts that eventually we'll see a People You Meet column from Shane regarding a couple of the idiots at our first table. Shane was knocked out in 14th by a three-outer on the river. He handled it graciously by screaming Fuck Me! very loudly after being away from the table for 30 seconds or so. I finished in 7th after being crippled with AQ against QQ. We also watched the Mavs win by 2 at Denver while giving up 2.5, which sucked.
The big side game at Caesars was a $400/$800 limit game of Badugi. An interesting group, including Eskimo Clark, Billy Baxter, David Grey, Allen Cunningham and WSOP bad boy Shawn Sheikhan spent all day at the Badgui table. Can't wait to get Rogers in a game of Badugi after watching his head almost explode the first time he played Omaha.

Live Poker Dallas Style

Looks like T.J. Cloutier is getting on the live poker bandwagon. He is hosting a tournament at Gilley's in Dallas in February. The Batfaces might have to lower themselves and actually go to Gilley's to play.

Hook Em

As Gentle Shane and I walked into the Rounder Club tourney, I told him that I plan to play perfect poker and win all races in 2006. Not sure about the first part, but the second part worked out pretty well as I won the 88 player event on Monday night. After chopping the majority of the top two prizes, I was able to defeat Rounder Club President? GM? Czar? Don in the solid heads up battle that lasted 40-50 hands. I think this is a good sign for the Horns.

UT 37
SC 34

Big game for Jamal Charles.

I Blow

Sitting here at my old buddy Scott Fawcett's for his new year's batch just trying to figure out when I can sneak home. Honestly, I'm glad to put 2005 to bed, since it was something of an ambiguous year for me.

Anyway, here's hoping that 2006 treats you all well and that poker karma finally catches up with me.