Monday, December 25, 2006

Batface Manifesto

Umm..... Hey, everyone. Happy Christmas, yavos. Or, if Shane is watching, yule festivus, spanky. Drunken stream of conscoineneness to follow, ass-way.

Me thinks there is a blankus in the batface universe that itches for healing. And, yesit may be because I am several sheets to the children at the presence, ass-college. But that doesn't matter as much as one would hope. I should thinkus. Or somethingish.

Simply put: doth go the poker. And by that I mean, wow, let's poker, you farging assholes. We've been at this for several years now, and none of you douche-cranks have done much more than this (or this) ((or this)). Seriously. What the children? Are we really that bad? Is fucking Dan going to call us out yet again? Gall damn you, batfaces! Lest us be without face???

Dan declared 2006 "the year of getting there," which it certainly was, God bless it. But for a number of reasoms, and not the least of which being fucking Celeste surviving yet another year being deemed a "good player," I declare 2007, you corn-fucking, motherchildren, the "year of the BAT-fucking-FACE, " mother-scratchers. (by the way, hammered) (( also, I'm really fucking HAMMERED)),

Fuck-ING 2000 ought Seven. It's a new assing year. God damn you all, ass-college.We are better than most. We are cooler than all. And for the love of children, we suck at softball. go batfaces!

And, just made four-of-a-kind. Dickheads.



Charity for likey. tighty. LIKEY.

All im.

Hate myself.



Fawcett said...

I am assuming that by "we suck at softball" you are really trying to say that YOU suck at softball, the rest of us are just really bad...when did Shane steal TBR's password?

Nothing makes me feel better about being single than a solid "hammered" rant on Christmas night.

Go Batfaces!

Anonymous said...

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Dantana said...

Click here to hear what Garthmeister really thinks of the Batfaces (in stereo).

Dantana said...

by the way brown, nice baberburgers. and fyi, i am a pro, too. just sayin' ...

Garthmeister J. said...

I'm glad that I didn't sound as drunk as I felt I was at the time.

And how did I post as anonymous up there? Intriguing.

Anonymous said...

He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink. He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink.

Eric said...

If its clear and yellah, you've got juice there, fella! If it’s tangy and brown, you’re in cider town!