Friday, June 09, 2006

My Awful Partner Retraction...Not

Woke up this morning feeling a little guilty for lambasting Randy. I was venting over an unlucky situation...and, Randy had actually played a decent round of golf the before which put us in 8th place of a field of over 70 teams.

However, after today's round, last night's post was justified. As I rethink Randy's round I can only recall Vic Morrow's line from The Bad News Bears wherein he offered this recap of the Bears season opener, "What I saw out there today made me sick."

It would take me 5000 words to do fair justice the abortion Randy manged today, but I will leave you with one anecdote.

Set-up: Our tournament is scored, not by how low your score is, but by how many points you receive. Birdies are worth 4 points, Pars get two points, bogeys count one point and anything above that is a zero.

The Situation: By mid-round, it is obvious Randy is worthless. Before a par three, I prodded him by saying, "On the tee-box, why don't you just whiff it four times and quit the hole." Randy giggled.

The Action: On the tee box, Randy pulls his first shot in the water. He goes to the drop area where he has a 90 yard pitch over the same water. This times, he chunks his ball and his shot goes in the drink after and unspectacular flight of, at most, 30 yards. Now laying four with no chance of making any points on the hole, Randy is resigned to spectator status.

The Recap: Randy managed a big fat zero for the hole. If he plays it the way I told him, he still scores zero points, but he still owns the two balls he dropped in the water. Ugh!

Randy, if you are reading this, I still love you. Just kidding.

3 comments:

TBR said...

There's a lesson in all of this: don't punch Randy in the head.

Ed said...

Reading anything Shane writes makes me think of that drunk step dad that wears the wife beater and kicks your ass because you got beat up by some Jewish kid at school.

Tulsa said...

Son? Is ... is that you?