Saturday, April 26, 2008

2008 NFL Draft

One of my favorite sports days of the year is here and boy am I horny. We are going to try to live blog this bad boy. First prediction... a white dude goes first.

Matt: why is steve young wearing a candy cane around his neck?

Did Chris Long just say "Batface" and use "vibrate" and "mom" in the same sentence? Love Chris Long

3:12 - Matt: thats why he went first, good diction
wow, this draft is flying by
not even settled in yet

Matt: right now, you me, and someone in the bronx are on the site
me: There is a good chance the first 3 picks are white
Matt: very me: This draft really is flying by

oh no
there it was
Matt: what
me: the first retarded joke by berman. "they are both Long gone"

Matt: eh. missed it. my guess: will have ample opportunity to hear more

3:15 - Re: First three picks being white, Matt asks "did I just accidently turn on
the NHL draft?"

3:19 - From Eric via text message: "Atlanta drafts the new Dan Pastorini. At least he has no line, recievers, or rbs. And he throws like David Kingler." Im sure that is funny for every person over the age of 39. Those of us a little younger are hearing crickets.

3:24 - me: Mcfadden go here?
Matt: yea
or someone moves up
looks like him
Raiders are the Dan of football (line of the day so far)

me: and if you arethe cowboys, would you rather have mcfadden, or The Good Roy
Williams and Felix Jones? Give the the latter
I think hes going to be great

3:27 - Eric "3 more paternity suite filed in the last 30 seconds."

3:31 me: look at dorseys watch

Matt: nicer than randy's
but not quite as nice as fawcetts
Matt: 40% less diamonds than scotts

me: dont know why everyone loves dorsey
me: big DT with back issues = scary

Matt: is steve deBerg still KC's qb?
if the BCS takes over the NFL playoffs, Dorsey has a good chance of seeing the playoffs again. otherwise, not so much

3:42 - Think the Jets have to draft a better defensive signal coordinator here
Matt: so hope they botch this

3:52 - Matt: still expecting skins to trade away draft for chad johnson
me: cant you argue that NO needs a RB?
deuce is hurt and bush is not good enough to be a full time rb

Matt: like him
me: hes not very big-ish
Matt: biggest guy ever to wear 49?
me: no kidding was just about to say that
Matt: like him more now

4:03 - Espn sucks ass. really wish i had nfl network
Matt: about to switch
Matt: ugh, faulk is wretched. might have to stick with espn. pats got an extra 3rd for dropping a couple spots

me: see, they hanet menionted that on espn yet. still dont know what the trade was
Matt: saints also got a 5th
me: so tired of espn thinking this is all about them. every time the commish talks, they need to show him
time to order a burger
Matt: the knot on faulks tie is the size of a cinnamon roll

4:06 - Five big-time comments from eric via email:
I just texted this to Chad Johnson: "if we trade for you, I will commit suicide on your alien head -T.O."
Kirk herbstreet is the hottest woman ive ever seen.
Love that Malcolm kelly is dropping. Should be available at 83 now.
Why does Steve young have Tim Rogers' hair?
Do you think new England will take Curtis lofton? Are you tired of OU refrences yet?

4:20 - This looks like its setting up perfectly for the Cowboys. Through 12 picks, only 1 cornerback has been selected. Here is what I would do. Draft either Talib or DRC at 22, trade 28 to the Lions for the Good Roy Williams, and with their 2nd round selection, draft my boy Ray Rice.

4:24 - Shocked that Stewart went ahead of Mendenhall. Is there a chance he slides too?

3:37 [switched to CDT so Eric can get home in time]

Zach: cant believe we haven't mentioned Keyshawns odd choice of stripped suit, checkered shirt, and polka dot-y tie
wtf is he thinking?
bet mendenhall goes here
benson SUCKS

eric: "Serious question: can Ryan Clady play on a field that isn't blue? Or with dreads that aren't smooth-ass sexy? Discuss."

Zach: we are close to Det drafting another WR
Matt: more bust wr's drafted: Det or Wash

3:39 - eric: My dream first round for cowboys: mendenhall at 22, James hardy at 28.
Ced Benson now not 2nd biggest suckbitch on bears offense.

3:48 - Zach: [Albert] looks so defeated

Matt: would you rather be a die-hard Chiefs or Cardinals fan

Zach: huh....
i would go with Card
better weather
QB does beer bongs with college chicks
and herm isnt the coach

Matt: all great points
the fake coors light interview question commercials are more exhausting to listen to than kiper in the 5th round

Zach: eric just called and said that if mendenhall, thomas, or DRC is there at 22, he will do a gay dance atthe party he is at
there goes drc

Matt: cant believe no WRs taken
so hope Thomas is there for skins
dont want sweed

Zach: sweed will be good
like him
just not in top 20

Eric: to suggest that keyshawn's ensemble is both spectacular and ridiculous is to put far, far too much depth and meaning on both 'spectacular' and 'ridiculous'

4:00 - Zach: mendenhall is going to slide to dal
QB for balt
OL for Phil

Matt: if he does, do you kill the pacman deal?

Zach: relevensce for TB
thomas for wash
mendenhall for dal

Matt: they will take one of sweed, thomas, or mendenhall
or a DE
or a saftey that is less bullet-prone

Matt: what state is Delaware in
holy crap
thats a long throw

Zach: like it
going to be better than big ben

Matt: kinda wish flacco and fargas were on the same team, thats a sweet backfield, name wise
eagles have to take mend, right?

Zach: they really need ol
bet they trade down to someone who needs mendenhall

Matt: you rather have (for dallas) mendenhall,thomas, or rb

Zach: mendenhall
then trade for RW

4:20 - Matt: skins take Mend, trade him for RoyW, then trade up for sweed, and trade 2009 picks for Vince Young and get Benson off of waivers.

Zach: i would LOVE to hate wash if that happens

Zach: how crazy are you going to be when wash drafts desean jackson?

Matt: Millen is a spy for the skins

Zach: unreal
listening to norm

Matt: how confused is he

Zach: very
loves the fact they took talib
cause dal was never going to take him

Matt: thomas will be a skin
very happy with that
follow in the footsteps of rod gardner and westbrook

4:30 - Zach: youre going to be angry with the pick
and i cant wait

Matt: wont be upset with sweed, thomas, or any D-line
or a cb

Zach: henne?
Matt: haaa
taking too long. scaring me

Zach: thepass would be awesome


Zach: desean jackson
please take desean hackson

Matt: berman is drunk

Zach: trade

Matt: wow

Zach: awesome
mendenhall to atl

Matt: trade for vick?

Zach: ha
oh yeah
turner is there now

Zach: WHAT?

Matt: wtf

Zach: hahahahhaa

Matt: look at him, what a douche

Zach: sonow the cowboys have a choice to make

Matt: dallas should trade down, so much to take
this is a valuable spot all of a sudden

Zach: top wr, top rb, top cb
no kidding
mendenhall goes here
what do you needmore? cb, wr, or rb?

Matt: if they take jones here, how angry are you
i think they need cb most

Zach: eric wants you to blog that if we take jones, hes going to drive his car with his family in it, off woodall rogers

Zach: mendenhall for roy williams?
what the fuck
cowboys are drafting felixjones


Zach: did mendenhall cut his leg off this week?

4:40 -
Eric: The ground hurt.
I'm still alive. Driving to valley ranch to gatling gun the war room while screaming soo-eey.

6:15 - me: anywordon trade yet?

Tiny: cant find anything
me: maybe we just asked sea nicely if we could switch places?
henne's face is fatter than mine
Tiny: compensation for Julius Jones?
me: awesome
dal gave up the 5 and 7
Matt: is that the 23rd USC started drafted in the first round
me: all on D
Tiny: Pete Carroll is so overrated
Tiny: why does Pitt need Mendnhall
Matt: because parker was too good of a fantasy pick otherwise. make it harder
figured out the draft. its just that Kiper is a complete moron. all expected players still there, just had bad info. kiper/scouts/etc

6:23 - Matt: kiper looks more and more like teen wolf every year

6:28 - Matt: 4 straight wrs after ny takes a saftey

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