Christmas at the Celestes'

Not very pokery, but still ...



appropriate to post on the Batfaces ?

(Thanks, Jen, for the link/Christmas list.)

Reputable Readership

Wow. Its hard to follow the Batface Manifesto, but check out comment # 17 on my previous "Hurty Hand for Having" post. David Daneshgar stopped by to give us his play by play of the hand where he crippled me at Bellagio. David is also a blogger, so pay a visit if you are interested.

If you're scoring at home, DD finished 6th in the POY standings. I finished T1585.

Batface Manifesto

Umm..... Hey, everyone. Happy Christmas, yavos. Or, if Shane is watching, yule festivus, spanky. Drunken stream of conscoineneness to follow, ass-way.

Me thinks there is a blankus in the batface universe that itches for healing. And, yesit may be because I am several sheets to the children at the presence, ass-college. But that doesn't matter as much as one would hope. I should thinkus. Or somethingish.

Simply put: doth go the poker. And by that I mean, wow, let's poker, you farging assholes. We've been at this for several years now, and none of you douche-cranks have done much more than this (or this) ((or this)). Seriously. What the children? Are we really that bad? Is fucking Dan going to call us out yet again? Gall damn you, batfaces! Lest us be without face???

Dan declared 2006 "the year of getting there," which it certainly was, God bless it. But for a number of reasoms, and not the least of which being fucking Celeste surviving yet another year being deemed a "good player," I declare 2007, you corn-fucking, motherchildren, the "year of the BAT-fucking-FACE, " mother-scratchers. (by the way, hammered) (( also, I'm really fucking HAMMERED)),

Fuck-ING 2000 ought Seven. It's a new assing year. God damn you all, ass-college.We are better than most. We are cooler than all. And for the love of children, we suck at softball. go batfaces!

And, just made four-of-a-kind. Dickheads.

Pinot.

ouchies.

Charity for likey. tighty. LIKEY.

All im.

Hate myself.

LOVE TBR.

Murmur and Awesome

Poker thread that Shane will love.

Bust - 36

Clonie takes home $42,285

Are you still kidding me?

4th in chips with 136 remaining.

Go Poker

1. Good job, Tulsa.

2. Are you kidding me?

Fun with Dan's pictures

Kissing Babies 101: Always leer at the appalled onlookers.

From Pokerati.

From VoteDan.org.

Hurty Hand for Having

Even though my tournament in Vegas only last 5 hours, I can say it was one of the most enjoyable tourneys I've played in. The quality of play was very solid and I didn't encounter any attitudes or egos that sometime make playing miserable.
In the middle of the 4th level my table broke and I moved to Seat 10 at Table 57. On my right was Mimi Tran. On her right was Tony Cousineau. In Seat 1, on my left, was David Daneshgar (he's having a decent year) , who had also been on my left at my previous table. In Seat 2 was recent WPT runner-up Jason Stern. I was about average stacked with around 9000 TC when I was dealt A2 off-suit in the big blind(25-100-200). Daneshgar, who began the hand with around 4500 TC, limped under the gun as did several other with me checking the blind and seeing the flop with 5 others. (1450 in the pot). The flop was AhAx5h. The little blind checked and I bet 1200. Daneshgar smooth called and everyone else floded. (3650 in the pot) At this point I really felt I was behind. What could he call with? Maybe a heart draw, but more likely an ace and any ace had me beat. The turn was the Kc. I decided to check to find out where I was. If he had an ace, he'd have to bet to get me off a possible heart draw. If he had hearts, he'd probably check behind me. He checked behind me. The river was a non-heart 4. Now what do I do. I decided to bet 1800. He instantly moves all-in for an additional 1000. How can I not be beat? But, how can I not call an additional 1000 into a 7200 pot? Of course, I call. Of course he flopped a full house with 55. Presto. Now I'm short-stacked. Thoughts?

Damn

darling out in 68th. I was out in 160th or so. Go blackjack

Hard to say...Go Batfaces!

Flight Summary
McDonnell Douglas Super MD-80
Date 12/09/06
Flight Number 371
Departure 11:00 a.m.
Arrival 12:00 p.m.
Confirmed Seats 15F
DFW Dallas/ Fort Worth
LAS Las Vegas

End of level 4

I have 4500. Dad has 9000. 170 players left. Blinds to be 50-200-400. Go double up.

End of level 2

We started with 5000 in chips. I have 8800. Darling has 11000. Started with 367 players. Down to 290 now. Plays 27 spots with first winning 319k. I've played with dutch Boyd and now am playing with Eric froelich and David D?, who won the 5000 event a couple of days ago and who is in the top 5 in player of year points.

Update from Vegas

Just got a text from Tiny B. Almost to the first break in the $2,500 event and he has over 8,000tc, after starting with 5,000tc. Darling said to also be playing well. Notable players Tiny B's has played with include Dutch Boyd and Eric Froelich. Go Batfaces!

Better than water into wine

Bluff Magazine's Michael Craig has a story on ESPN.com that's a bit hard to believe. Craig, who spent some time kicking around with Chris Ferguson, says that Jesus once turned $1 into $20,000 while playing online.

Yeah, I dunno about all that. I think the guy is full of shit.

It's been said before, but...Vegas, Baby!

Darling, my sister and I head to Vegas this afternoon for a weekend at Bellagio's Five Diamond World Poker Classic. Darling and I plan on playing in Friday's event with plans for the rest of the weekend still up in the air. It's been a long time since I've been to Vegas without other, younger, non-related Batfaces, so I assume this trip will be a little more tame, depending on whether we run into Misty or not.

I predict getting Darling away from his local Omaha games, where he's struggling, will do him some good and I expect him to cash at least once at Bellagio.

I'm trailing The Grinder by about 5700 points in the Player of the Year race, but I've figured if I can win 5 events at Bellagio, I can catch him. Keep watch here for updates.

PS - Just confirmed that we will be seeing Prince on Saturday night at the Rio, followed by a night at Pure, where we have a table reserved. Go Batfaces.

Thinky and Blinky

I have always found the process of trying to identify poker tells at the table rather difficult. Like most people who have played the game for a long time, I am okay at speculating as to what range of hands a player might have and/or roughing out a percentage of times he might be bluffing. I've read the seminal piece on the subject, Mike Caro's Book of Tells, and though helpful, rarely do I find myself in a situation where I'm thinking, "wow, I saw this in Caro's book! The pot is mine!"

Then I read Blink, Malcolm Gladwell's fantastic book about our intuitive and subconscious ability to nail it on first impressions, even if we don't really know what we nailed. The premise is pretty simple: we observe a lot more than we actually, consciously recognize, and, as applied to poker, when we get that "instinctual" urge to call or fold in a certain context that might seem to dictate otherwise, it is, actually our minds way of telling us it has processed some information behind the scenes.

Though not specifically detailed in Blink, it's relevance to poker is obvious. Blink is referred to in Peter Alston's great book, Take me to the River. And this month, Cardplayer devotes an article to it as it relates to a particular online hand.

Last night, I saw Gladwell speak at the Tate Lecture Series at SMU. His lecture was a fascinating exploration into the unraveling of Enron and a quite compelling argument that perhaps Skilling doesn't deserve to be in prison. From Gladwell's point of view, the"scandal" was not a puzzle, as the prosecutor's would have us believe, were Enron withheld vital pieces of information from the public, but rather a mystery, where in fact, too much information was available, and professionals in the industry (Wall Street types) simply failed to analyze it properly. It will be the subject of an upcoming piece in the New Yorker. Take a read.

Again, I sat there thinking that this puzzle/mystery dichotomy is also applicable to poker. At a certain point in a poker hand (and sometimes throughout), it's a puzzle, where the player is trying to gather as much information as he can. Decisions are made based upon imperfect and incomplete information. At others, however, and I think particularly in a multiway Omaha pots deeper in the hand, it may shift to a mystery. At that point, the player has a ton of information about the hand, and the difficulty is now analyzing that information to make as good a decision as possible.

Following the lecture, it was revealed during the Q&A portion that Gladwell has a blog, where he rants about topics such as racism and the NCAA. It's a fascinating read. Perusing through it, I noticed that one of his favorite writers is the Sports Guy, who is unanimously loved by all batfaces. Wait a second--clever little pokery-related books, he loves the Sports Guy, that hair... he may be my new Gavin Smith.

The Birds are forever screwed

I hate Tony Romo. And yet I love Tony Homo. Just sayin'.

"One More Time, Sweetness"

In the words of the great Ernie McCracken, sometimes a bowler just has to face the music. Batfaces, too. Thus, today's scorecard.

Tonight: sleet, freezing rain, fair-to-partly pokery, 64 percent chance of donkeyness.

UPDATE: Game 5 now added; Shane to turn pro

91-60

Your Texas Longhorns, lead by freshman phenom Kevin Durant, were able to outlast Nichols State last Sunday in a hard-fought win. Next up, Texas Southern. In an unrelated note, the defending national champions lead the Big 12 in Academic All-Americans.

12 - 7

Quite possibly the greatest day of my life.

Too Awesome To Be Believed

"...keep 'em good clean fresh friendly..."

The Question Before Us Is...

Which one of these lovely blackjack players [ please to watch episode trailer here ] will win on Saturday? Or is it, which one of these sweet young thangs owes Big Todd $500?

Clonie Watch

The World Poker Finals at Foxwoods in CT are down to the final 30 in the $10k Main Event and Clonie is well into the money hanging in 20th in chips. Already guaranteed 20k+, Clonie will once again take the lead in Batface money winnings in 2006. The money gets serious once they get down to 20, with the winner taking home $1.7ish million. Clonie is not the only chick doing well. Kathy Leibert and Mimi Tran are among the top 10 in chip stacks. And girl-like Daniel Negreanu is still alive as well.

UPDATE: From Cardplayer.com

Clonie Gowen Eliminated 25th ($25,872)
Dan Sevigny moves all in for the over $300,000 from the cut off. Clonie Gowen calls all in from the button, and Chris Boyadjian calls in early position. Sevigny shows the 99, Gowen turns over the KK and Boyadjian flips up the A7. The board brings the AQ932 and Sevigny eliminates Gowen and doubles through Boyadjian with a set of nines.

Silver lining on last night's home game...

Re: Would you call? Result

After Darling lead out, I went into the tank. While in there, he said to Tiny B (who was watching), “tell Randy to fold so his children can go to college.” Having played with him enough, this added support to me feeling that he really liked his hand. That, combined with how he played it pre-flop made me narrow his hands to two possibilities: aces or ace-king. Ace-king was obviously far more likely on paper, but even then, I was drawing to a chop wherein he likely had a back-door flush draw of some sort. Plus, yes, somewhat Shanian, but I just couldn’t get aces out my head. The anonymous commenter said it best, I’m just egomaniacal enough to assume that Darling assumes I’m the great player that he can get away with playing aces that way against. Of some consequence, too, was a hand like this that I actually played against Shane two weeks earlier. Shane had the aces.

Finally, after a long tank, I folded. Darling proudly showed K♣Q♣ for a flopped nut flush draw. We rabbit hunted it, and he didn’t get there (though, I still maintain he would have had I called.)

I talked with Darling the next day about the hand, and he said two things of note: (1) he did almost push pre-flop because, in his words, “I just knew I was going to make a flush”; and (2) once the flop came out, he was certain he was going to make the flush. So, at least I read the strength of what he THOUGHT he had on the flop correctly.

In hindsight, I made the mistake I often make: giving my opponent too much credit for playing their hands in a way that makes any sense. Of course, I still should have called. Go batfaces.

Pokery Handsies: Would you call?

I played a somewhat interestingy hand last night that I wanted to throw out to the peanut gallery for comments. On its face, it's pretty straight-forward, but I am going to try and include as many details as possible so you will have as much information as I had (at least, as much as I thought I had) in the moment.

The game is 10-25 PL Holdem (the regular game is an orbit each of PL Omaha and PL Holdem). I had recently won a a couple of big hands (one against player x, who will become important), and then followed that up by winning two or three other hands by raising in position and leading out or raising on the flop. Player x, who for convenience sake we'll call Darling, was also involved in a couple of these pots. Also, Darling had built a very large stack playing his typical Omaha game (read: visualize); but recently, he had been giving it away in huge chunks. In addition, Darling is a very dangerous player, whom I prefer to play against in holdem, and in position, as his too loose starting hand requirements for Omaha really tend to hurt him in holdem. By the same token, he is absolutely fearless, and has a far deeper bankroll than anyone at the table. He knows this is an advantage and will put you to the test the moment he senses fear.

In the immediately preceding hand, I had raised preflop to $100 with A♠K♥ and gotten two callers. The flop waste J-high, checked to me, I bet $200, and everyone folded.

Situation: I am under the gun and find the exac same hand, A♠K♥, again. I make it $75 to go. Two callers, and Darling in the small blind, grumbles, "I'm tired of being pushed around by you," and raises to $250. I have approximately $2700 in front of me, and Darling has me covered.

My thoughts at this point:

1. He's a little on tilt and could be trying to bully me/re-steal thinking I'm just stealing;
2. He's got some kind of broadway cards or pairs higher than 7s and wants to take the pot down right there;
3. He's gotten a premium pocket pair and is trying to goad me into playing with him with the "tired of you bullying" comment
4. I'm getting almost 3-to-1 to call.
5. the two callers will fold to a raise and will call behind a call.

My thoughts:

1. Call and see a flop in position with AK. Okay, but I'll have no idea where I am. If the flop misses my hand and he checks to me, I'll have to bet at least half the pot. He's capable of raising with nothing or calling with nothing and leading out for the pot with a blank on the turn. Or he's capable of leading with nothing on the flop, and without an ace or a king, I'd most likely have to fold. Also, my initial thought was that had QQ, KK, AA or AK, and I wanted a better opportunity to define his hand if I was up against those before I saw a flop.
2. Fold. Only done it once in my life in this spot, and that was in the 2005 WSOP, and it somewhat haunts me ( I was up against QQ). Out of the question.
3. Raise. Should be able to narrow down his hand possibilities and represent AA or KK. Plus, if he has AA, or maybe even KK, I'll hear from him now and can fold "cheaply."

Action: I raise $600 more. Folded to Darling. he does not appear to be saddened by this turn of events and actually almost raises. Finally, he calls. My initial thought is that he's got an absolute monster, AA or KK, was going to re-raise but then decided to try and get tricky.

Flop: A♣6♣2♥.

Action: Darling bets $1800.

What do you do?

I'll post my thoughts and the result tomorrow.

I Love Those Limey Bastards

The secretary of culture in Great Britain has looked at the U.S.'s online gambling ban and said to herself, "Uh, 'scuse me, but why don't we make sure we get all that coin for our ourselves?" Which brings up two points:

1. Why are the effing Brits suddenly smarter than we are? (Answer cough cough REPUBLICANS cough cough)...
2. Since when is a $20 sit-n-go considered "culture"? I mean, my game is pretty goddamned artful, but still...
   

What Gonz Has Been Up To

In the spirit of a scary Halloween, here's a recent picture (right) of our favorite Batface-in-exile that some may find entertaining. Photos by Jen B.

Now I understand why he was replaced by Fawcett.

OK, and I can't resist. Don't ask me why being up late looking at pictures of Gonz has inspired my first post on The Batfaces ... but here's another, which I think may be worthy of a caption contest.

Re: Greatest poker site ever

Dunno, mine seems a bit outrageous too... I mean I folded 3 times in an hour. Guess they don't have batface/aggressive as a category yet.

During current Omaha session you were dealt 50 hands and saw flop:
- 8 out of 8 times while in big blind (100%)
- 6 out of 7 times while in small blind (85%)
- 33 out of 35 times in other positions (94%)
- a total of 47 out of 50 (94%)
Pots won at showdown - 10 of 18 (55%)
Pots won without showdown - 7

Greatest poker site ever?

Take a look see at this little gem. They're selling poker software that tracks how other people track you online. For the most part, I think it works. Our good buddy over at pokerati goes by the moniker "danmdotus." I think they nailed it. However, there must be a flew glitches in the software. After all, our own Gentle Shane (who goes by "jolrog" online) seems to be COMPLETELY miscast.

WSOP 2007 dates released

Recieved a letter today from the Rio announcing the dates for next years WSOP. Seems to be starting MUCH earlier than in the past. The first tournament starts June 1st and the final table for the Main Event will take place on July 17th. Hooray poker!

Welcome to Pokerstars

I first played internet poker around 4 years ago, I guess, and then it was the crazy limit games at Yahoo! (It was the only game I could play at work without downloading any software). Then, about a year later, I finally ventured over into the real money realm with Party Poker. I only chose Party because it seemed to be the easiest to fund at the time. I funded my account by buying phone cards, being too stupid to understand how Firepay or Neteller work.

As a result of the recent legislation, we all know Party is done in the US. While I believe that Party's and other online sites' corresponding public cowering is absurd (and not very forward-looking), I've had to shift my allegiance to pokerstars (may join over at Full Tilt, too). Perhaps more incredibly, I've actually figured out how to create a Neteller account. (I may or may not be up $15 in my new playground.) Go Poker. Go Batfaces!

Set over set

"well I'm just gonna have to pay that man off."
-SS2

We always knew TBR thinks just like Doyle.

Tran-tastic

Other than myself, the hottest tournament player out there has got to be TBR man-crush and Sacramento Kings' fan, JC Tran. At the Festa Al Lago at Bellagio, Tran made three final tables last week, finishing 5th, 3rd and 5th. So you look at his stats and think, well that's good play, but he doesn't have any big cashes. Well two weeks ago, he won Poker Stars World Championship of Online Poker and $600,000+.

Firepay out of poker business

Got this email from firepay today. Boooo to firepay.


On September 30, 2006, the United States Congress passed the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006.
Once President Bush approves the Act. FirePay (www.firepay.com) will no longer allow US consumer payments for online gambling merchants.

• Beginning the day President Bush signs the Act, FirePay will decline any purchase transactions from US FirePay account holders at any gambling merchant site.
• Ten days after President Bush signs the Act, FirePay will decline any transfer attempt made by any online gambling merchant to a US FirePay account.

All US FirePay accounts holders will continue to be able to make purchases and receive payments from non-gambling, online merchants, as well as “Deposit From” and “Withdraw To” their US bank account.

Click here for the latest news and opportunities for FirePay account holders.

** Please note:

1. This new policy will not affect FirePay account holders from outside of the United States
   
   
2. For any questions regarding these deadlines or policy, please email info@firepay.com

Soaring on the wings of love

Your Philadelphia Eagles are in first place in the NFC East. It's true. It's wonderful.

And now, everyone's favorite song:

Fly Eagles fly, on the road to victory
Fight Eagles fight, score a touchdown 1-2-3
Hit 'em low, hit 'em high, and watch our Eagles fly
Fly Eagles fly, on the road to victory

E-A-G-L-E-S...EAGLES!

Sang = Profit

My favorite part of the Associated Press story on the proposed Harrah's buyout is as follows:

Analyst Rod Petrik of Stifel Nicolaus said Harrah’s shares had been relatively cheaper than its peers in the casino business for several reasons, “perhaps none more important than its inability to crack into the growing Asian gaming markets.”

[Begin clapping slowly]

It's official, and make sure you read the trip report (though I'm a little disappointed I wasn't mentioned specifically).

We Love Big Todd!

Big Todd is out in 5th. Aces cracked. Cashed $19,900. Hurty, but, you know, Go Big Todd! Go Batfaces! '06 is instantly the Year of Tiny B.

UPDATE: So, so hurty. Five handed, Todd is in the little blind with $60K in chips. Big Blind has $15k, blinds are 4-8 thou. Obviously, he isn't doing anything until Big Blind risks his stack. Unless... Folded to button, who moves $140K all-in to isolate the BB. Todd looks down and sees As-Ac. Calls, BB of course folds hoping Todd goes out. Flop comes A-x-x with two hearts. Turn is a heart. River a king. Hurt. Y.

Chow Time

Tiny B is currently taking a dinner break in Tunica. Big Todd is still 4th of 5 in chips. Resuming at 7:15 or so, CST. Batface nation quakes in anticipation.

Update to the Update

Five left. Todd fourth in chips. Guaranteed $19k.

Batface Nation would like to say something:

"Go."

"Big."

"Todd."

Seven Left

Tiny B is next-to-last in chips.

Final Table Todd

It's down to nine, and Tiny B is still in it. He's got 54K, about 5th or 6th in chips.

And if Big Todd can stare down Marcel Luske, he can stare down anyone. Go Big Todd!

Darling also in the house

It should be noted that Darling finished 8th last night in the $200 Second Chance Tourney.  From what I could tell, most of the 200+ field knows he likes Jack Daniels and that at times the board is very flushy.

Still Alive-ish

Thanks to Tulsa and TBRs reporting, you know I'm hanging in the tunica tourney.  You have to finish in top 8 or so for any real money, so I'll need to double up early tomorrow. My last double up came when I moved all-in with Q9(the comstock) on the button after it was folded around to me. The big blind made a very good and expensive call with KJ(the Shane). I felt relief as everyone knows that comstock always defeats Shane. So, after a jack flopped, I wasn't surprised to see runner runner club to make my Q high flush. The qualility of play and the quality of people playing has been spectacular... Something I'm not used to in Dallas.  We resume at 2PM tomorrow. I'm going to go to bed now. As always, go batfaces.

Done for the Eve

Todd makes it to the overnight break.

17 left. So very tired. 29k in chips. 38k is average.

Sleep well, Tiny B.

Sleep well.

TBR, You Gassed Up?

Todd is almost to final 15. That means TBR and I have to check our maps and do this.

Big Todd says...

"19 minutes, 17 players."

Represent, bitch.

GBT

Todd's latest text:

Runner runner is my friend.

Mind, too, Tiny B. Mine, too.

Go Big Todd!

Runner-Runner Double Through

Todd was short (perhaps the shortest of the remaining 18) and just doubled through with runner-runner. Very Shaney. Go Batfaces! Still 18 remain...

Go Big...Clonie?

Missed this last week. Worth shouting out to honorary Batface Clonie Gowen.

Latest Text From Todd

"18 left. I'm short."

Murmur

Actual conversation with the wife while we're waiting for texts from Todd (Texts From Todd is a good band name, btw):

[Shakira video comes on MTV Hits]

Tulsa: Oh, Lord. Is it going to be weird if I start masturbating? She makes me a little crazy.

Tulsa wife: That's okay. She makes me a little crazy, too.

[murmur. and...scene]

Down to 20...

Playing shorthanded, Todd has 24000 with blinds at 800-1600 with 100 ante. Will play until 2 or final table. Hopefully, Tiny B is still there. Go BIG Todd!

Quick Commercial Break

While Batface Nation is waiting on the Tiny B-Tunica outcome, I am going to take advantage of your attention to make this gratuitous yet very important point. I am abusing your good will to make this off-topic proclamation because I think it's important for everyone to know this. In fact, I think it's crucial to our nation's prosperity that everyone acknowledge this fact: Dane Cook is not funny. At all.

Back to Todd.

Emmitt was 22

Tiny B on break. Twenty-two left, he says he's short-stacked. Again, I assume he's talking about his chips. Go Big Todd!

Tiny B in the Money

Says he's in decent shape. I took that to mean "in the tourney." Me = excited + nervous + messy + hungry.

Go. Big. Todd.

Todd just doubled up with AQ vs. JJ. Thirty-three players left, he's six from the money with $17K. Me = excited + nervous + horny.

1500

I'm at dinner break in the $1500 NL in tunica. 48 players remain of the original 225. The top 27 make the money. I have 15000 in chips, which is a little above par. Darling and Hong Kong played as well, but have not lasted. So unfortunately for some, I'm not offing myself. Winner takes home 101K.

Tunica 2

Darling up.
Hong Kong up.
Tiny B... Fuck cards.

Tunica live blog 1

Hammered. Go first class!

Honk Kong Sue, Darling and I just landed in Memphis. Aycock is waiting on us at The Grand. You fuckers will be sorry you missed this one. $1500 tomorrow at noon. If I don't win the last-longer, I'm offing myself.

Hardest working man in poker?

I read this great post by Jane "I know her name is Change" 100 on pokerblog last month and linked to it here. Today her boss (inverse) scooped her. Which brings up a good point: do you need to give credit if it's linked from your own blog? Maybe if you wait a month later it's okay? Is that related to live-blogging a re-run two months later?

Am not a batface?

Sir, how can you possibly suggest that me playing poker until 4 in the morning on a school night is proof that I am not a batface? This is a POKER blog. Batface is a POKER term. Softball is for athletes, not batfaces. Put simply Shane, I have met batfaces, and you are no batface.

On unrelated pokery notes, at least two batfaces will play in tomorrow's 1500 NL Event at the Grand. Go Big Todd! Go batfaces!

Terrell Owens am not a Batface

Why do I think Gonz is silently chuckling to himself today?

I am a Batface...You am not a Batface

I like to think Batfaces wear their hearts on their sleeves. Even when the chips are down, they nut up and give it their best. Apparently I was wrong.

Case in point, our most intelligent BF, Matt Sommer, came up with a brilliant...or not so brilliant idea to put together a softball team this season. Unfortunately, we quickly learned how fast our old baseball skills of yore hade declined. Aside from numerous injuries, we have been unable to mount either a decent offensive gameplan, nor any kind of cohesive defensive effort whatsoever.
The early going has been ugly. Not only have we been non-competitive...we've been...well...non-competitive. Standing at a pathetic 0-4, we have yet manage more than three runs in a game. Sweet? I think not.

Still, we all signed up to play...and as Batfaces, I believe it is our duty to stick together, despite these adverse times. Batfaces are all about pride...or so I thought.

At this point, I can say I am ashamed to know many of you. In trying to field a team of 10, or at least nine, players tonight, we found ourselves woefully short.

Amongst the no-shows:

Randy Brown, who found time time to play poker until 4am last night, but was conspicuously unavailable when the Batfaces needed him. Moreover, during his last Batface poker session, he attempted to injure our new shortstop, Wrestlemania style. In truth, Randy's not that good as his one and, likely, only outing showed, but is that any reason not to honor a commitment?

Michael Simmons...Simmons,Simmons, Simmons. Our favorite Batface wannabe has yet to make a game despiate his "hey dudes, I'll be there" promisises all season. Hey "dude", it is simple. Game starts at such and such time at such and such place. Those elements DO NOT change. So why the last minute change in plans?

Brian Brookhart. Who are you and why are you on our roster? Do the shades match the rug? I don't even know what that means. I have a jersey for you. I would give it to you, but I haven't the slightest idea of how to get in touch with you.

Adam McGill, faithful trooper during our first two double-headers...but why have you forsaken us now?

Eric Pfeiffle...has justifiably had the worst Batface experience throughout our season thus far, but still his only reply was "can't make it." I guess his new found success with the chicas makes Batface endeavors irrelevant? Honey, we love you. We miss you.

There might have been a few legitimate excuses, though. Jason Clark claimed he couldn't be there because a client (he's an attorney), ran over someone, but thought that someone was a cow. Fair enough, I think. Besides, he's only a Bat-Face hanger-on. But we are still terribly attracted to him.

Scott Fawcett would have missed the game anyway due to injury, but he had the added buffer of death #245 in his family this summer. As he said, "Last year was the Summer of Scott. This year is the Summer of Death. What will next Summer be?" Next year will clearly be the Summer of....

As much as I hate to do it, I even have to call out Todd Phillips. He and Sommer sort of conspired to pull the team together and he even offered to manage AND he even attended our lone practice session. Then he booked 32 different business flights, all conflicting with our terribly important softball schedule.

It is a sad, sad day when non-Batfaces like Troy Wicker and Chris Hammons have played more Batface softball than some of the phantoms who claim the monicker. I would be ashamed to say I am a Batface, but the truth is...you no-shos are less than gentlemenly and nowhere near reliable.

We represent. You don't.

P.S. Zach, love your effort and I love your left ass-cheek.

P.P.S. Celeste, Love you...love your innocuous shoulder tackle.

P.P.P.S. Thum...can't believe I am saying this, but you might be the most Batface-y of all.

P.P.P.P.S. Dan, you need to play deeper in the outfield.

Sugar out.

WARNING: Bankroll may suffer...

Looks like a quorum of batfaces will be heading to the WSOP Circuit tourney in Tunica this weekend for the $1500 NL event and, possibly, the $5000 Main Event. Can't really figure out why I shouldn't join them, save my crummy tournament game. This year, the event conflicts with the US Poker Championship at the Taj, an event commonly covered in depth by ESPN. I assume, since the Circuit's Main Event is down from 10k last year, that most of the big names will be in Atlantic City. Fortunately, these idiots will be there to entertain.

Re: 3 posts down

Sent this morning from TBR

Gentlemen,



Suffice to say, I had NO IDEA how far my softball skills had atrophied until last night, and as a result, I have never been on more tilt than I was while racing back through the forest in left field hopelessly chasing moon shots while avoiding street signs. By my count, I had two balls bounce off my glove, was flailing on the ground on three separate occasions, pulled the old sixth grade "race in, then panic and race backwards as the ball is flying over your head" job (unforgivable), was 0-for-4 at plate getting (incredibly) jammed 3 times, gave our opponents at least 4 extra outs, caused Freeze to suffer a mild hernia due to laughter, and finally, accidentally (and loudly) farted in front of Scott's girlfriend (and I know this because of her laughter and the startled and shocked look on her face that said,"wow, you are complete fucking mess!"). In a word, I was atrocious.

Driving home, it occurred to me that the last time I played softball was 8 years and 30 pounds ago. I am a fat, fucking loser.

Poker tomorrow?

J. Randal Brown

The Official Club of the Batfaces

There's a club in the Borgata called Murmur.

House rule #1

I think I am a decent host...usually have plenty o' liquor, beer, food, bread (celeste), smoke all you want and just leave the cig butts on my back porch as if someone will eventually pick them up (Sang), half of Dallas has my garage code, music or ball games as need be, and of course all the Galaga/Dig Dug/Pac-Man/Ms. Pac Man/Mappy/Mr. Do/Gyrus/Frogger/Poker you can handle. But I am officially instating my first house rule of NO MORE PIZZA at poker night. Bring whatever food items you must and feel free to eat as much of my food as you must but due to my COMPLETE lack of self control we are NEVER ordering pizza again.

Unless of course we need more pizza.

Go Batfaces softball!

Should we stick to poker?

My wife and I arrived during the middle of the second game of the first official batface softball team to join the cheering throngs of Jen, Ashlie and Karen. I couldn't make our opener due to familial commitments, plus I wouldn't have been much use given I was still (and am still) on ubertilt over evitegate. They immediately bombarded me with an assortment of questions surrounding the issue of when they were allowed to leave. Ashlie appeared the most distressed. I asked what's wrong, and she said something about "embarrassed for Adam" and "hard to watch." This seemed odd to me as Adam is a terrific volleyball player with incredible jumping ability. Oddly, Ashlie seemed shocked by this for a moment and then asked, "have you seen him run?"

A few seconds later, the opposing team hit a hot shot to third approximately 2 centimeters to Shane's right. Shane missed it by two feet, but did three somersaults flailing in the dirt to accentuate the effort. Shortly thereafter, team batface managed to execute a successful rundown involving all 10 players on the field and 46 throws. Never mind the fact that everyone on the other team scored twice in the process.

This led to an amusing exchange between my wife and I:

wife: who's the best player out there?
me: (chuckling) probably Shane.
wife: Really?

Go batfaces.

WSOP Coverage

Jamie Gold may be the worst person ever.

Unthinkable

I know this doesn’t have anything to do with poker, but I still wanted to bring it to the group’s attention: Woke up this morning to find out that Steve The Crocodile Hunter was killed…by a stingray. Shocking.

In related news, Dan said something awesome about poker.

Notes To Self

Last night was one of our typical Batface home game at Danang's house. The usual crowd was there minus TBR and Todd however Tim made his second appearance since his time out several months ago. Throughout the night I was making some mental notes that might help me get through the weekly games a little better.

1. When playing at Danang's during the summer wear the least amount of clothes or buy misters and/or fan's to help cool down the room. Brutal. Side note, when Tim plays, very important to bring an industrial exhaust fan pointed at him and out the window so the rest of the table doesn't have to smell what comes out of that foul ass of his. How his wife does it is beyond comprehension.

2. When eating Kung pao chicken from Pei Wei for lunch, not a good idea to eat Sang's jalepeno hamburgers along with two pork sausages comprised of what was in Tim's ass. Washing it down with 2 red bull and vodkas probably wasn't smart either. At 3:00 this morning I was throwing the most vile concoction of food down the toilet. 30 minutes later it was coming out the other side with such voracity, I didn't know what to do with myself. I was actually trying to figure out a way to ask my wife for a blumpkin. New word I learned last night. Don't think there is a Jewish girl in the world that will do that. Cursing Sang was also a good option.

3. Buy some air refreshener for my bathroom because of #2.

4. Buy the new Blackberry Pearl when it comes out in October. Having video and photo capabilities along with a blackberry to tape Shane coming into the game with an oversized cardboard IOU from Dan for $118.00 would be priceless. He pasted the two bad checks Dan wrote on the IOU. Awesome.

5. Contribute to a TV fund for Danang's house. Watching anything on that TV is like going to a Pink Floyd laser light show stoned at the planetarium.

6. Come up with a phrase to scream obnoxiously at Dan after getting the quads on the river in Omaha to beat his boat especially after he re-raised me all in when I put in a $30 bet with the quads. "I've got the Nuts Baby", "Quads Kick the Boat's Ass", something. Hopefully my journalist friends can help me out. No, I wasn't sore at the runner runner he beat me with last week to make an incredible comeback in heads up, but at his comment about how I have never read any poker books which explain my schlogger results. I will come back by the end of the year and beat Dan. Promise.

7. Maybe buy one poker book and read it.

8. Make enough money to buy a house in Preston Hollow so we can play there every week and not have to drive 30 miles back north from East Texas.

9. Never tell Dan a secret unless it is safe for it to be out after 48 hours. Rumor is that one of the original Batfaces might be moving back to Dallas and play in the home game. When Zach asked us what type of person he is since they haven't met, we all just smiled. The home game just got more interesting again.

10. Start considering talking in third person. Thum liked when Sommer did it for a few minutes. Thum was couldn't stop laughing at this.

11. Learn how Shane uploads pictures to link to so this would make this post more enjoyable.

12. Be happy to finally post a respectable amount to the schlogger.

Now I know, that there will be several more additions to this, and I'm sure there will be a flurry of comments making fun of me, but as usual, I don't care.

Go Batfaces!!! Go Home Game!!!

Tuesday Game Report: Shane is my hero

What follows is a re-cap of relatively new, non-batface home game. Hopefully, this is the first of what becomes a weekly addition to the blog, and you, our three readers, will have more to digest than simply Fawcett's stream of consciousness. Most of what transpired in this week's Tuesday night friendly of serious note involved Shane. And to sum, he played two or three of the worst Omaha hands I have ever seen, managed to get monstrously lucky at least four times, somehow dealt his own fucking cards, and finished down 100 (that he didn't have to pay).

Early, things were going well for me and according to plan. Like last week, I was picking up a lot of pots on the flop playing small-ball. After about an hour, I'd worked my starting stack of 2000 close to 3000. Shane had recently arrived and was slowly weak-tighting off chips, down to about 1700. Then he got all of that in on hand where the nuts on the river were the broadway straight. his opponent called the all-in bet, Shane declared, "I have the straight," and then revealed a hand filled with face cards that did not, actually, produce a straight under the tricky little rules of Ohama.

He re-bought and started losing those chips, too. Then, I'm in the big blind in Omaha, and peek down at AAQJss. There is a small raise to 70 from C.C. in mid-position, and Shane calls on the button with Ac3c7d7c. I call. Five see a Flop of A64, one club. I check, and it's checked around Turn is a 9d. I check, and it's checked around to Shane who makes it 300 to go. I check-raise the max (max-raise is 1000), making it 1300 total. Shane is sick and certain he is behind. I actually think he has something like a set of 6s. He calls 1000 of his 1350 left. River is Qc. As he is raking in his chips, he comments, "sorry, Randy, I was just trying to go home."

Very next hand I get AAKKss, and I am fucking steaming. I make it 145 to go from the SB and get five callers. flop is KTT. checked around. Turn is an 8. Checked around. River is a 2. Checked around. Both C.C. and Chop (noted gamblers) in the pot and neither will take a stab. I should have bet a little on the flop. Oh well.

A few hands later, and I'm still on full tilt. Late position with AsKcJsTs. I call pre-flop raise. Flop is 8d2cKc . Checked around. Turn is Kd. Checked to me, and I bet 300. Chop makes it 1300 to go. I have 950 left, and as Todd can attest, I am visibly distressed. I finally call turning over my AJT while saying I need to fucking hit a fucking one of those fucking cards for fucking change. Chop won't show his hand. Oh shit. He's got some fucking garbage club draw or, worse, he's going to hit his kicker on me. Plus, he's not going to show it to me until he hits it. Celeste's life flashes before my eyes. After some berating, he turns his hand over. K663. I am shaking. If a 6 or 3 comes, I will LOSE MY MIND. River's an ace. Still, I was going to get that fucking Chop. He'd become my new Dan.

At some point in here, after having to re-buy again, Shane got involved in an Omaha hand with Gay C. Shane was on the button. Flop had one club. Gay C bets and Shane calls. Turn is the Q of clubs. Gay C bets, Shane calls. River is the ace of clubs. Gay C checks. Shane gets this funny look on his face. Turns out, he'd dealt the Q and ace of clubs from his own hand. He had AcQcQxXx and thought he'd turned a set of queens with his own fucking card!!?? More amazingly, Gay C let him chop the pot??!! Oh my head! I was about... to... KILL myself.

Shane builds that up close to 4000 (or close to even), then calls a pre-flop raise in late position. Flop is AK9, two clubs. C.C. bets 300, chop calls, Shane calls. Turn is a Jd. C.C. checks, Chop bets 500 and Shane IMMEDIATELY raises 1000. And, AND, Chop only has about 1200 left. Chop sticks the rest of it in and shows two of his cards, the Q and 3 of clubs, assuming (as anyone in their right mind would) that Shane has QT. Then he sheepishly shows the other two, 8T from the second straight. Shane says, "wow, I'm in big trouble." I may or may not have screamed "How??!" and fell out my chair when he revealed JcJd3cX. No help on the river.

Somehow Shane managed to work that back up close to 6000 (or close to even once again), then he lost more than half of it with the second boat against Old Guy. So he's down to 3000 and gets involved in another pot with Old Guy. Playing Omaha, flop is 663, checked around. Turn is a Q. Checked to Shane who bets 300. Old Guy check-raises to 900. Shane is somewhat sick and calls. I think he has 63, and I also think it is an AWFUL call. River is a 5. Joe bets 1000, and Shane makes what appears to be (and he certainly thinks) is a crying call. Shane has 625Ass for the rivered full house. Joes has 63. Several groans.

Shortly thereafter, Shane calls down the new guy in holdem with top pair holding A3 only to realize that he has K3, not A3, and has called the new guy down with king high. Todd tells Shane to go home. Shane slowly gets up from the table, races to Antonio and orders a triple Wild Turkey concoction. Somehow, once he is liquified, he manages to keep his sanity and maintain his stack, down 100 for the night.

Also, he owes me $50.

Cursed

Our pal Dan, via his girl Jen, is reporting that this year's crop of WSOP winners continues to have legal troubles. Richard Lee is apparently the latest to run afoul of the law, according to the San Antonio Express-News.

Almost makes you not want to cash in the Main Event. Almost.

Rich Dad Poor Dad

Kelcy sounds like a happy homeowner to me...how about you Adam? Make millions in real estate the Adam Magill way, just tell your friends "oh, you actually get used to the noise." Well played old friend.


From: Kelcy
To: Scott Fawcett
Subject: Happy Birthday Adam

Nothing drives me up a wall morethan repetitive noise. Think clocks ticking, water dripping, toilets running, etc. So the fact that either the street sweeper has stalled right below my window or Kiwi cleaned Elm Street today and left all their fans, is very murmur. Don't be surprised if I have bald spots next time you see me. I am on the verge of going to stay at the W, in case you didn't grasp the severity of the situation. Tomorrow I will write the mortgage company a check for the balance of the loan. Then I will put the title in Adam's name and send it to him in his birthday card. An alternate title for this was; Nightmares on Elm Street.Sincerely, Ms. Bittermen--------------------------Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Device

Okay, it turns out he'll probably kill poker...

Now I REALLY can't wait to see how ESPN deals with this idiot. Check out the pokerblog.com's great post on Gold, including a priceless interview with the shameless, self-promotor (who, of course, shuns the media--like the way Tulsa shuns Maker's). Props to Jane 100 for finding the interview. It's about 17 minutes into the Rounders poker show in Vancouver. I cut it off after two minutes. The guy's like a cocky Mike Vanderjagt.

Does the home game miss me?

I Just Had to Say This...

God DAMN I'm good at poker.

Because I have so much math in my head.

I have two other points to make:

1. Drunk
2. Go Batfaces
   

Awesomeness getting better...

Just wanted to make sure you didn't miss this from our "pokery headlines." This reminds me a little bit of the 2% Shane alleges we swapped before last year's main event. Fortuitously, I left no phone message confirming my intentions.

Exhibit A for Batface media credentials at next year's WSOP...

If these revelations are true, I can't figure out whether it will help or hurt poker. Either way, in a very pokery sense, it's AWESOME. Can't wait to see how ESPN spins all of this.

Bset line: "it is also crude that the mainstream media has never checked any of this out, and keeps calling him an ex-talent agent, and citing this long list of stars he has supposedly been instrumental in creating." Seriously. It's FUCKING POKER.

Perfect Format for the Big Randy '06

Clearly the only difference between this tournament and any random Batface home game is the one female player. Just glad they decided against the hole cams.
alt hed: Inverse Lodge Poker?

"Like at the porn expo, you see things at the poker expo you can never unsee."

I was wondering why the normally speedy Sports Guy was taking so long with his WSOP re-cap. Now I know. Like the rest of us, getting bounced from the main event leaves you in a state of suck, but then to lose in such horrific fashion on top of that? Yikes.

Greatest eggroll ever or I am not a donkey

As I replied on my reasoning for getting all in with 7s for $1500 verse chop.

Fawcett said...
Chop had played 832 straight hands very drunk...he was liable to turn over 23o. F#$@ everyone. Just won an 18 person sng so I am on the rebound. Tiny back me up on this one...

Now here is TBRs recount of the BT game last night....at least it was suited.

I'm UTG+1 and make it $120 to go. Called in three spots. Chop makes it $500 to go. I think he has nothing and come over the top for $675 more all in. Folded to chop. He quickly calls and doesn't turn over his cards. So I assume I'm ahead and up against, at worst, something like KQ. Flop is 7-2-2. Turn is a K. I cringe. He giggles and turns over 23s. He's playing the fucking Keisha all in pre-flop. Sick.

WSOP Cheating, Part 2

More from Richard Brodie....

Business as usual? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by the degree to which many in the poker community consider the 2.2 million extra chips found at the WSOP main event “business as usual.” Cheating has been around since before poker and apparently many have learned to live with it, the skillful making money in spite of it and the losers losing anyway. There’s the possibility the chips were added through incompetence rather than dishonesty, and there’s still a tiny chance the reports of the final chip total are simply wrong. I wasn’t there. But notwithstanding all this, there are some tough questions for Harrah’s, questions which ought to be asked by the Nevada Gaming Control Board:

- Harrah’s decided to use the same chips in the main event as they used in previous tournaments, including super satellites. Were the chips counted at the conclusion of each event? - If not, why not? If so, how many chips were missing after each event?
- If they did discover missing chips, was there any effort to use the video surveillance to catch the cheaters?
- Were there official chip counts done at any point in the main event? If not, why not? If so, what was the result? What was the discrepancy between each official count?
- Were the same precautions taken to guard and log the movements of the house bank of tournament chip as are taken with casino chips of similar value? If not, why not?
- How many dead stacks were blinded off through errors during day one? What is the list of names of people who were allowed to play on a different day but had stacks being blinded off on another day? Why were so many errors possible?
- Were there stacks being blinded off for players who had been given refunds? If so, why?

The current explanation by a Harrah’s spokesman, that the extra chips were a result of rounding up during chip races, has been proved impossible both by me and by Jerrod Ankenman, co-author (with two-bracelet winner Bill Chen) of the forthcoming book The Mathematics of Poker. I don’t know if a complaint has yet been lodged by any of the final 27 players, who seem to be the most hurt by the cheating or incompetence. The chip counts reported by poker journalists are full of errors but it seems to me that most of the chips were added during the play from 27 players to the final nine. That should all be on videotape.I’m looking forward to some answers and, more importantly, to some major reforms in the integrity of these large tournaments.

Since everyone loves my hand histories...

PokerStars Game #5923876798: Tournament #29995951, $20+$2 Hold'em No Limit - Level V (75/150) - 2006/08/15 - 02:08:06 (ET)
Table '29995951 1' 9-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: revelation17 (3670 in chips)
Seat 2: dxflynnx (3305 in chips)
Seat 5: rooch21 (785 in chips)
Seat 6: rlw12345 (1605 in chips)
Seat 8: swf6768 (1625 in chips)
Seat 9: Hot Karl (2510 in chips)
rooch21: posts small blind 75
rlw12345: posts big blind 150
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to swf6768 [Ah Kh]
swf6768: calls 150
Hot Karl: folds
revelation17: raises 300 to 450
dxflynnx: folds
rooch21: folds
rlw12345: calls 300
swf6768: calls 300
*** FLOP *** [As Kc 2s]
rlw12345: checks
swf6768: checks
revelation17: bets 300
rlw12345: folds
swf6768: calls 300
*** TURN *** [As Kc 2s] [7h]
swf6768: checks
revelation17: bets 875
swf6768: calls 875 and is all-in
*** RIVER *** [As Kc 2s 7h] [9c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
swf6768: shows [Ah Kh] (two pair, Aces and Kings)
revelation17: shows [Ac Ad] (three of a kind, Aces)
revelation17 collected 3775 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 3775 Rake 0
Board [As Kc 2s 7h 9c]
Seat 1: revelation17 showed [Ac Ad] and won (3775) with three of a kind, Aces
Seat 2: dxflynnx (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: rooch21 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 6: rlw12345 (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 8: swf6768 showed [Ah Kh] and lost with two pair, Aces and Kings
Seat 9: Hot Karl folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Check out this guy's comeback

18 person SNG...check out Scout's comeback in a 15 hand period.

PokerStars Game #5915910244: Tournament #29954851, $20+$2 Hold'em No Limit - Level VI (100/200) - 2006/08/14 - 15:15:24 (ET)
Table '29954851 1' 9-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: pq123 (5822 in chips)
Seat 2: lobal (6470 in chips)
Seat 4: Conild (4703 in chips)
Seat 5: wayneitall (3618 in chips)
Seat 6: Cooptown (4230 in chips)
Seat 7: SuperScout1 (17 in chips)
Seat 9: swf6768 (2140 in chips)


PokerStars Game #5915985022: Tournament #29954851, $20+$2 Hold'em No Limit - Level VI (100/200) - 2006/08/14 - 15:22:58 (ET)
Table '29954851 1' 9-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: pq123 (5921 in chips)
Seat 2: lobal (4670 in chips)
Seat 4: Conild (4403 in chips)
Seat 5: wayneitall (3712 in chips)
Seat 6: Cooptown (3830 in chips)
Seat 7: SuperScout1 (1412 in chips)
Seat 9: swf6768 (3052 in chips)

And there was this hand you played over the weekend.

Bent Tree Cash Game #77: , $5/$10 Pot Limit - 2006/08/12 -

Table '1' 6-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: Clint (1500 in chips)
Seat 2: Chop (3820 in chips)
Seat 3: Tiny B (1420 in chips)
Seat 4: swf6768 (760 in chips)
Seat 5: Shane (750 in chips)
swf 6768: posts small blind 5
Shane: posts big blind 10
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to swf6768 [7c 7s]
Clint: calls 10
Chop: raises to 40
Tiny B: folds
swf6768: raises to 120
Shane: folds
Clint: folds
Chop: raises to 300
swf6768: raises all-in to 760
Chop: calls
*** FLOP *** [2h Qd 4s]
*** TURN *** [2h Qd 4s] [3s]
*** RIVER *** [2h Qd 4s 3s] [9c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Chop: shows [Kc Kd] (Pair of Kings)
swf6768: shows [7c 7s] (Pair of sevens)
Chop collected 1535 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1535 Rake 0

Seat 1: Clint folded before Flop
Seat 2: Chop won (1535) with a pair of Kings
Seat 3: Tiny B folded before Flop
Seat 4: swf6768 lost (760) with a pair of sevens.
Seat 5: Shane folded before flop

Still quitting.

PokerStars Game #5909822611: Tournament #29921246, $20+$2 Hold'em No Limit - Level V (75/150) - 2006/08/13 - 23:14:34 (ET)
Table '29921246 5' 9-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: Kamelkoff (730 in chips)
Seat 2: ALL_IN_MAC (6349 in chips)
Seat 3: dc77 (5730 in chips)
Seat 4: 2 ACES hmm (9453 in chips)
Seat 5: HiimRLx (3820 in chips)
Seat 6: pdparv19 (4145 in chips)
Seat 7: Rollar (1975 in chips)
Seat 8: swf6768 (2155 in chips)
Seat 9: frankswier (1345 in chips)
dc77: posts small blind 75
2 ACES hmm: posts big blind 150
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to swf6768 [Tc Ts]
HiimRLx: calls 150
pdparv19: folds
Rollar: folds
swf6768: raises 350 to 500
frankswier: folds
Kamelkoff: folds
ALL_IN_MAC: calls 500
dc77: folds
2 ACES hmm: folds
HiimRLx: calls 350
*** FLOP *** [4h 7d 4s]
HiimRLx: checks
swf6768: bets 1655 and is all-in
ALL_IN_MAC: folds
HiimRLx: calls 1655
ALL_IN_MAC said, "vnh"
*** TURN *** [4h 7d 4s] [3s]
*** RIVER *** [4h 7d 4s 3s] [2c]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
HiimRLx: shows [4c 4d] (four of a kind, Fours)
swf6768: shows [Tc Ts] (two pair, Tens and Fours)
HiimRLx collected 5035 from pot
ALL_IN_MAC said, "glad i bounced"
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 5035 Rake 0
Board [4h 7d 4s 3s 2c]
Seat 1: Kamelkoff folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: ALL_IN_MAC (button) folded on the Flop
Seat 3: dc77 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 4: 2 ACES hmm (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 5: HiimRLx showed [4c 4d] and won (5035) with four of a kind, Fours
Seat 6: pdparv19 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: Rollar folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: swf6768 showed [Tc Ts] and lost with two pair, Tens and Fours
Seat 9: frankswier folded before Flop (didn't bet)

It's 3:19 am

Matusow needs to tap the breaks of life....go live WSOP final table.

Second hand of tourney

PokerStars Game #5867023115: Tournament #29704924, $20+$2 Hold'em No Limit - Level I (10/20) - 2006/08/10 - 15:38:20 (ET)
Table '29704924 17' 9-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: twille58 (1500 in chips)
Seat 2: purpletrade (1490 in chips)
Seat 3: zonmans (1480 in chips)
Seat 4: ImNotSoGood (1530 in chips)
Seat 5: The Mooks (1500 in chips)
Seat 6: emodave (1500 in chips)
Seat 7: swf6768 (1500 in chips)
Seat 8: p0wah (1500 in chips)
Seat 9: ohmyohmy77 (1500 in chips)
zonmans: posts small blind 10
ImNotSoGood: posts big blind 20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to swf6768 [8d 2h]
The Mooks: calls 20
emodave: folds
swf6768: folds
p0wah: folds
ohmyohmy77: folds
twille58: folds
purpletrade: folds
zonmans: raises 20 to 40
ImNotSoGood: calls 20
The Mooks: calls 20
*** FLOP *** [Ts 9s 4s]
zonmans: bets 140
ImNotSoGood: raises 1350 to 1490 and is all-in
The Mooks: folds
zonmans: calls 1300 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [Ts 9s 4s] [Qs]
*** RIVER *** [Ts 9s 4s Qs] [Js]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
zonmans: shows [Kc Ks] (a straight flush, Nine to King)
ImNotSoGood: shows [7s 8s] (a straight flush, Eight to Queen)
zonmans collected 3000 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 3000 Rake 0
Board [Ts 9s 4s Qs Js]
Seat 1: twille58 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: purpletrade (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: zonmans (small blind) showed [Kc Ks] and won (3000) with a straight flush, Nine to King
Seat 4: ImNotSoGood (big blind) showed [7s 8s] and lost with a straight flush, Eight to Queen
Seat 5: The Mooks folded on the Flop
Seat 6: emodave folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: swf6768 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: p0wah folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: ohmyohmy77 folded before Flop (didn't bet)

Prelude to this evening?

Am I the only one that saw this Clarett story on ESPN and wondered where they got a picture of Shane's car?

This is a poker blog right???

I quit. I am swf6768

PokerStars Game #5855556631: Tournament #29645887, $20+$2 Hold'em No Limit - Level VII (100/200) - 2006/08/09 - 15:45:00 (ET)
Table '29645887 1' 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: Gucci1 (2665 in chips)
Seat 5: MM7ny (3310 in chips)
Seat 7: swf6768 (5405 in chips)
Seat 9: 10&2Flip (2120 in chips)
Gucci1: posts the ante 25
MM7ny: posts the ante 25
swf6768: posts the ante 25
10&2Flip: posts the ante 25
10&2Flip: posts small blind 100
Gucci1: posts big blind 200
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to swf6768 [Kc Qc]
MM7ny: folds
swf6768: raises 300 to 500
10&2Flip: folds
Gucci1: calls 300
*** FLOP *** [Ks 8s 9d]
Gucci1: bets 600
swf6768: raises 4280 to 4880 and is all-in
Gucci1: calls 1540 and is all-in
*** TURN *** [Ks 8s 9d] [Tc]
*** RIVER *** [Ks 8s 9d Tc] [6h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Gucci1: shows [Kh 7h] (a straight, Six to Ten)
swf6768: shows [Kc Qc] (a pair of Kings)
Gucci1 collected 5480 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 5480 Rake 0
Board [Ks 8s 9d Tc 6h]
Seat 1: Gucci1 (big blind) showed [Kh 7h] and won (5480) with a straight, Six to Ten
Seat 5: MM7ny folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 7: swf6768 (button) showed [Kc Qc] and lost with a pair of Kings
Seat 9: 10&2Flip (small blind) folded before Flop

The Original Helpy Post

Due to matrimonial control, my original helpy post was deleted...but suffice to say it was damn funny. If you would like to see a copy of it, please e-mail Dan's girlfriend at decochic@www.idontknowhowtospelldeekochique.com.

Randy, next time you want to pull one of my posts, just take the fucking thing down. Don't edit the post using my name and password. I'll see you on Thursday. You'll be bleeding by 8:15pm.

PPV

TBR and I were wondering over lunch about how tomorrows "live" pay per view of the WSOP final table would be presented. Our hat-wearing friend Amy is wondering the same thing.

We should order this for tomorrow night's home game.

Sang.

Just Trying to be Helpy, Redux

Not exactly sure who completely changed my original "Helpy" post, but I'll offer three comments:

1. Nice editorial control we have on this fucking website.
2. No wonder why I hate people, especially Randy.
3. Everything in the revised post was true except for one thing, I don't threaten to kick my friends' asses. I have no friends. Therefore I am an equal opportunity threatener.

It's going to be a long night on Thursday. Sang, I apologize in advance for any damages.

Go Deadbeats!

Clonie finished in 19th place in yesterday's $1500 NL tourney at the WSOP. For the entire WSOP she now has two cashes and has taken home $5,141, or about 10 times what she owes me.

So far at the WSOP, the 12 members of Team Full Tilt cashed 38 times for $2,750,848. But realize, without Clonie that number would only be $2,745,707.

I wonder if Allen Cunningham will get promoted to the Team from the "Friends of Full Tilt" when/if he wins the Main Event.

WSOP Cheating?

Interesting comments from Richard Brodie about cheating at the WSOP. Not sure if any Batfaces were involved.

"The total chip count reported in PokerWire for the final 27 players in the 2006 WSOP main event is 88,246,000. That is 516,000 more than the total starting chips for 8773 entrants. It is impossible that so many chips were added simply due to rounding up in chip races.If the PokerWire chip count is accurate, where did the extra chips come from? That is some serious cheating.
Why is it impossible that chip races added 514,000 in chip value to the WSOP main event?The 25 chips were raced off during the split day 2, which began with fewer than 3500 players. If all 350 tables were still there and every one of them added the maximum 50 in chip value, that would add 17,500 to the event. Probably more than 1/4 of those tables had already broken and probably only 1/4 of the maximum 50 was added per table.The 100 chips were raced off at the end of day 3, with 481 players remaining. If all 54 tables added the maximum 200 in chip value that would add 5400 to the event, but the expected add is zero.The 500 chips were raced off with 288 players remaining. If all 32 tables added 500 that would add 16,000 to the event. The expected add is half that.The 1000 chips were raced off with 49 players remaining. If all six tables added 2000 that would add 12,000 to the event. The expected add is zero.So the very maximum possible in added chip value is 50,900.Now it's still possible the listed chip count at the end of yesterday was inaccurate. But if not...where did the half million come from?"

Just trying to be Helpy

My name is Shane Keller. I'm gay but pretend not to be because I'm afraid my friends won't accept me that way. I also threaten to kick their asses routinely, even though they're my friends, I'm woefully out of shape and I'm gay. Also, I'm gay (please don't tell Scott).

Gayer than us... or, at least, AS gay

In the midst of my post-WSOP depression, I stumbled across the United States Scrabble Open, featuring Chris Cree, a buddy from a weekly poker game (pictured here deep in thought). Chris is the #1 ranked player in Texas and mounting a furious rally in this year's USSO. Carry on.

Crackin' Aces

TBR and I just played 1-2 at the Venetian for about 2 hours. Utg raised to 20 and I called with Qc Jc. Two to my left makes it 120 to go, the origanal raiser folds and I decide "screw it, I crackin' em or going to sleep"...I'm all-in for $164. Flopped two pair. Got there.

We left about 5 minutes later and I threw the guy $20 and told him he handled it well though.

Good Morning, Mr. Fawcett...

Who is Butterfinger, and when can we meet her?

Batface Down

Just got that text from TBR. Sounds like it's over. I'll make the updates to the schlogger.

Good morning all...

Can anyone explain the $5000 or the Butterfinger on my bed?

Go TBR

Day 2 for TBR started a couple of minutes ago. His table (Table 159) looks like a great draw for him. The table has no big stacks, no players with significantly more success or experience than Randy. Here's the table.

Seat 1 - Adam Brosius - 33,400
Seat 2 - Loren Libby - 3,550
Seat 3 - Aaron Lerner - 13,050
Seat 4 - Lalif Nanji - 3,100
Seat 5 - TBR - 27,875
Seat 6 - Mark Guttormsen - 23,325
Seat 7 - Rich Baker - 15,675
Seat 8 - Jeremy Roberts - 29,900
Seat 9 - Colin Frisby - 12,575
Seat 10 - Henry Kim - 34,550

Update

10:38 - Scott: Back from dinner. Railing TBR, Shane is sour.
10:55 - Scott: Shane down.
2:44 - Randy: 12125
3:27 - Scott: 140 tables left in level 6. TBR has 9400 or so and looks sour.
3:32 - Shane: I just ate my own feces.
4:33 - Scott: TBR doubles up with pocket aces against Kings. 18K, 32 mins left in level 6.
4:40 - Scott: He just finished the guy off with pocket Jacks. 22K
5:01 - Scott: 4 min left. 23K
5:08 - TBR: 27875. End of day 1.
5:10 - Tiny B: Very well done. Have fun at Club Paradise.

Shane...

is out. Whoever had TBR in the last-least-shortest pool wins.

Not good

TBR down to 12,200.

Text from Shane..."Tragedy. 3150. Can't even begin to discuss it and since Todd would mock me about until I die, I won't."

I guess that means he took a bad beat. Hopefully, he can rebound.

Shane

Shane is up to 11,950 at the end of Level 2. Keep it going boys.

TBR Improves

TBR is up to 19,000 after Level 2. The highlights of this level were calling a bet on the river with 4th pair, not realizing he had a straight and rivering a set of 9's to crack Aces again, that were horrifically misplayed. I'm pretty sure he never saw this amount until late in Day 1 last year.

Nice Call, Sean.

From CardPlayer.com

Sean Sheikhan Eliminated
On a flop of 973 and $675 in the pot, the player in seat 2 bets $700. Sean Sheikhan raises to $2,000 and the player re-raises all-in for $10,000 more. Sheikhan makes the call and shows QQ while his opponent shows 99 for a set. The turn and river come 8K, and Sheikhan is eliminated.

Shane playing very Shaney

Shane is at 10,500 at the first break.

TBR off to a nice start!

TBR has run his chip stack to 16,500 after Level 1 thanks to almost doubling up after flopping a set of 10s to crack Aces. On his left is David Matthew, who won a cool 1.9 Million at Bellagio in April at the WPT Championship.
Shane and TBR are on opposite sides of the room, so they are breaking at different times.
Shane is sitting next to this guy and possibly another guy that I'm still researching.

Go Hot Naked Girls!

Here's an interesting story. Well, maybe it's not that interesting and really more of a reason to post non-Hellmuth nudity.

This just in

The boys have only been playing for 20 minutes or so. No update on them.

Tiny, meanwhile, is in Dallas. Had he gone to Vegas, he would totally be available to dish out good-luck hugs to the Batfaces.

At least that's the way I interpreted his text message.

Damn Level 6

Darling was knocked out last night with 30 minutes remaining in Level 6, the final level of the evening and the same level that saw Fawcett go down the previous night. I'll provide more details as I get them. TBR and Shane play today.

Go Batfaces

Just wanted to say good luck to TBR and Shane today. Play like champions, boys.

To Troy and Fawcett: Bummer. But don't sweat it. Remember, you guys are rich.

Level 3

At the dinner break, Darling is down to 8600 in chips.  During that level, he had AA, KK, QQ and AK but didn't win anything significant with any of them. Probably my last report for the night, despite there being 3 more levels tonight. I'll post first thing in the morning.

Darling

Twenty minutes into Level 2, Darling has his chips up to 11,500.

Uh, Can We Recheck Those Odds, Please?

Okay, it's one thing for Phil Helmuth to say he had "horrendous, horrendous" luck when explaining why he busted in only six hours. But does the associated press have to blindly agree? Witness the following quote from this story:

He was victimized as much by bad luck as by the aggressive and unpredictable style of amateur players who fill the field in an event boasting more than 8,600 entrants.

Really? First, he gave away 10 percent of his stack to show up late and make a big entrance. Then his J-J lost to Q-Q, his K-K lost to A-A, and he went out when his A-Q lost to 7-7. He was behind in every instance and never improved. Is his bad luck that he didn't get lucky? Is that part of his winning strategy? Which, when coupled with the photo above, reminds me of something I need to say: Go TBR!

Fawcett Down

Around 1:.30 Vegas-time last night, Scott got his last 7500TC in with AK vs. JJ. The Jacks won. Good work by Scott making it well into Level 6. Darling plays today, TBR and Shane on Monday. Good luck. That is all.

Scott update

With 40 minutes left in level 4, Scott has 9200 in chips and has outlasted Hellmuth and Doyle...and others.

Go Batfawcetts!

Report from the field: Fawcett is holding steady at 10025tc after the second break. Clearly his new strategy of not donking off all his chips with king high is paying dividends.

Clonie Out

This update from CardPlayer.com about Clonie Gowen, who owes two Batfaces $500 each, even though that's not important right now and even though we all know she will never pay it:

Clonie Gowen Eliminated

On a board of AK9, with $4,000 already in the pot, Clonie Gowen pushes all-in for her remaining $2,400. Her sole opponent calls and shows A3 for a pair of Aces. Gowen flips up pocket Queens and will need to improve. The turn is the 9 and the river is the 2, not helping Gowen and eliminating her from the tournament.

I Didn't Know Ackerman Was in the Main Event

This from CardPlayer.com:

All-In Called with 8-High

On a flop of 1075, Tim Rod bets $300 and his opponent raises to $600. Rod calls and the turn puts the 3 on the board. Rod again bets out with $1,500 and is again raised by his opponent to $4,000. Rod calls and the river puts the 3 on the board. Rod pushes all-in and his opponent immediately calls. Rod flips up KQ for a turned flush. His opponent says, "Do I have a straight flush? Oh, no I don't," as he shows 86 for 8-high.