Last night was one of our typical Batface home game at Danang's house. The usual crowd was there minus TBR and Todd however Tim made his second appearance since his time out several months ago. Throughout the night I was making some mental notes that might help me get through the weekly games a little better.
1. When playing at Danang's during the summer wear the least amount of clothes or buy misters and/or fan's to help cool down the room. Brutal. Side note, when Tim plays, very important to bring an industrial exhaust fan pointed at him and out the window so the rest of the table doesn't have to smell what comes out of that foul ass of his. How his wife does it is beyond comprehension.
2. When eating Kung pao chicken from Pei Wei for lunch, not a good idea to eat Sang's jalepeno hamburgers along with two pork sausages comprised of what was in Tim's ass. Washing it down with 2 red bull and vodkas probably wasn't smart either. At 3:00 this morning I was throwing the most vile concoction of food down the toilet. 30 minutes later it was coming out the other side with such voracity, I didn't know what to do with myself. I was actually trying to figure out a way to ask my wife for a blumpkin. New word I learned last night. Don't think there is a Jewish girl in the world that will do that. Cursing Sang was also a good option.
3. Buy some air refreshener for my bathroom because of #2.
4. Buy the new Blackberry Pearl when it comes out in October. Having video and photo capabilities along with a blackberry to tape Shane coming into the game with an oversized cardboard IOU from Dan for $118.00 would be priceless. He pasted the two bad checks Dan wrote on the IOU. Awesome.
5. Contribute to a TV fund for Danang's house. Watching anything on that TV is like going to a Pink Floyd laser light show stoned at the planetarium.
6. Come up with a phrase to scream obnoxiously at Dan after getting the quads on the river in Omaha to beat his boat especially after he re-raised me all in when I put in a $30 bet with the quads. "I've got the Nuts Baby", "Quads Kick the Boat's Ass", something. Hopefully my journalist friends can help me out. No, I wasn't sore at the runner runner he beat me with last week to make an incredible comeback in heads up, but at his comment about how I have never read any poker books which explain my schlogger results. I will come back by the end of the year and beat Dan. Promise.
7. Maybe buy one poker book and read it.
8. Make enough money to buy a house in Preston Hollow so we can play there every week and not have to drive 30 miles back north from East Texas.
9. Never tell Dan a secret unless it is safe for it to be out after 48 hours. Rumor is that one of the original Batfaces might be moving back to Dallas and play in the home game. When Zach asked us what type of person he is since they haven't met, we all just smiled. The home game just got more interesting again.
10. Start considering talking in third person. Thum liked when Sommer did it for a few minutes. Thum was couldn't stop laughing at this.
11. Learn how Shane uploads pictures to link to so this would make this post more enjoyable.
12. Be happy to finally post a respectable amount to the schlogger.
Now I know, that there will be several more additions to this, and I'm sure there will be a flurry of comments making fun of me, but as usual, I don't care.
Go Batfaces!!! Go Home Game!!!
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4 comments:
About No. 9: Dan, you're fucking Dead. D-E-A-D. I'm going to jam those emails marked "private" down your throat, you miserable excuse for a human being.
Zach, I look forward to playing poker with you.
dude, i told you i could keep your secrets for 48 hours, that's it!
Very nice! A place where you can make extra cash and watch Gonz murder Dan! I made $420 there last night! Go Danang!
Oh, and Blackberry Pearl goes on sale Sept. 12 at T-Mobile stores. Go unnecessary impulse purchases!
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