Separated at Birth?

Some might think that I would be a big fan of White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen. We were both good glove, slap-hitting shortstops when we played. We're both quick to lose our tempers and possibly say something that we might regret later. And of course, we're both Venezuelan. Despite these similarities, I've never been a fan of Ozzie's UNTIL I read this quote on why he was having trouble remembering a suspended game from April 28 when it resumed in August :

"There was a lot of vodka between that game and today," he told the Sun-Times' Chris De Luca. "Believe me."

NFL Week 4 Picks

Dont have lots of time to post, but I'm going to dominate this week.


Arz @ NYJ -1
SF +4 @ NO
Was @ Dal -10.5
Hou @ Jax UNDER 43

5 Star LotW
Den -9 @ KC

Crash and Burn

My good friend and frequent poker opponent DJ AM, suffered a bad beat of his own this weekend. Thankfully, he's going to be OK. I remeber hanging with DJ, Nic and Shannon in Vegas in 05. Those were some wild days.

Week 3 NFL Picks

Awful stats week, yet somehow still broke even. Which is nice.

Week 2 1-4
Week 2 LotW - W
Season- 3-7
Season LotW - 2-0

TB @ Chi -3
StL +9.5 @ Sea
Dal -3 @ GB
Hou +5 @ Ten

5 Star LotW
NO @ Den -5.5

Kansas Shitty

Best sports video ever? In case you missed it on DeadSpin or the Ticket (or 6 million other places) - George Brett's story of crapping himself at the Mirage makes him my new favorite old baseball player. Click on the picture in the linked page to watch the video.

Batfaces at Texas Mid-Am

Reporting live from Lakewood CC where Fawcett and Tiny B look to dominate. Fawcett teed off this morning and Tiny tees off in about 15 minutes. Pictures and updates to follow.

Early prediction: one of tiny's playing partner, who we will refer to as Curly Douche, will either shoot a 94 or quit at the turn.

Score update: thru 2- Tiny E, CD+1, MM +1

MM just told me "good shot". Confused.

GWILF update: nothing really to speak of. Very disappointing. Will post pics soon.

Score update after some massive bad beats put on tiny by 2 trees and a fence: thru 6- tiny +6, cd +1, mm +2

Score update: thru 9- Tiny +6, Me +2 margaritas

Margarita update: The bad: while overall a good rita, not nearly as good as Bent Trees. The Great: you can charge drinks to accts at other clubs. Thanks, K493!

Last update because the 3G battery sucks ass. Tiny hates golf, MM and CD still suck, margaritas are always a good call,Fawcett shot a 78 and thum says buy gas now. Go Batfaces.

Go A Game?

"A" Game

"I'm putting everyone on notice, I'm bringing my "A" game tonight". TBR's exact quote from lunch today with Eric, Todd and me. Giddy up.

An Open Invitation to Join the Batfaces

Goes to these two guys.

Source credit to Gordon Keith.

Week 2 NFL Picks

Week 1 2-3
Week 1 LotW - W
Season- 2-3
Season LotW - 1-0

After a very typical 2-3 start, I'm looking to double up today.
NO -1 @ Was
Pit -6.5 @ Cle
Ind @ Min +1.5
Mia +6.5 @ Arz

5-Star LotW:
GB -3 @ Det

Good luck all in.

Batfaces Unite!

As the missing Batface member (presumably), it was nice to receive such a warm welcome at Houlihan's on Wednesday from my fellow Faces.  More importantly, it was nice not leaving Plano with zero dollars.  A personal thanks to Son of Sue for the heads up on how you guys play.

Dana, my Chinese "juggy" chested fiance, who in fact is not Chinese but American, was pleased to hear all the raunchy chub comments from the stories told.  So, after all the sabotage, the wedding is still on.

Idiots.

*Worst blog ever*

Masters Down (29 is a good)

MONDAY - Damn. Things didn't go too well today as Scott lost his match 3&2 in cold and rainy Milwaukee. If it's any consolation, I've determined by looking at a picture that Mark Scheibach of Bermuda Dunes, CA might be a douchebag.

SUNDAY UPDATE - Scott shot 75 in the second round and advanced to Monday's Match Play as the 6 seed to play Mark Scheibach. Go Batfaces!

SATURDAY - Batface golfer Scott Fawcett fired a smooth 66 in the First Round of the US Mid Amateur in Milwaukee. He shot 29 on the front nine, so he pretty much sucked on the back nine. The second round of stroke play is tomorrow with the top 64 of 264 contestants advancing to Match Play on Monday. Scott is currently in 2nd place. Go Batfaces!!

Give 'em a hand...

It was clear that UTEP was no match for the Longhorns on Saturday. However, we must give a "hand" to the UTEP fans. They really seemed down for the game and, although their emotions had to be up and down, the ego stroke of a national TV game seemed to blow their minds/pants.

Best Football Quote Ever?

Tiny's post about Urban Meyer's decision to pad his field goal kicker's statistics brought to mind what might have been the greatest moment in the history of post-game interviews.

Late in the 4th quarter of the 1968 Michigan-Ohio State football game, legendary coach Woody Hayes left his offense on the field to attempt a two point conversion following a touchdown that put his Buckeyes ahead by a score of 48-14. The 2-point attempt was good and Ohio State eventually won 50-14.

After the game, a sportswriter asked him why he would go for two with the game already decided. Hayes, who hated Michigan worse than Tim Rogers hates decorum, said, "Because I couldn't go for three."

Perhaps Woody was the original Batface?

God Bless Urban Meyer

And not only because the brunette is his college-ish aged daughter...

How many coaches kick a FG ahead by 20 with 25 seconds left? Not many, I say. Is there any chance he didn't know the line in the game was 22? Is there any chance he wasn't getting a cover for his rich boosters, who bet on the Gators.

Week 1 NFL Picks

I am not very good at this, even though I pretend and tell myself that I am every single year. With that being said, I'm going to pick 4 games every week that I think are good bets and pick one game each week that is guaranteed to win. Ish.


NYJ @ Mia +3
TB @ NO -3
Cin -2 @ Balt
Det -3 @ Atl

5 Star Lock of the Week
Dal -6 @ Cle

I use sportsbook.com to place all my bets and if anyone wants to sign up, I would appreciate it if you let me know so I can get a referral bonus. Its real easy to use and takes 15 seconds to deposit using your debit card. Good luck all in.

Man Down

Just received this text from The Gripper:

"Engaged. See you in hell."


Good luck all in.

Live Blog FF Draft

The 2nd Annual Batface Fantasy Football draft starts soon and this is the one and only location to catch the action. Follow along as millions log on to watch dynasties created?

Shane's New Best Friends?

Oklahoma Sucks Like a Bitch

not ark. state funny, but funny

Just got back from Home Depot where I spit-laughed at a guy wearing this t-shirt. Good news for him is that it may never go out of style.