TBR leaves for Vegas Saturday night to play in Day 1D of the WSOP Main Event. This will be his 4th Main Event, and he has actually done pretty well in his past. His first ME, he came in 178th for $39,075. Last year, he was one of the chip leaders after day 1, only to donk off all his chips sometime on Day 2. He seems to be playing pretty well recently, and we all expect him to go deep again this year. With that in mind, Tiny B and I came up with 15 things you need to do while in Vegas:
1 - Any time you see Jerry Yang, only refer to him by his confusing nickname, "The Shadow".
2 - Do a line of blow with Clonie.
3 - Text JJ incessantly while giggling and talking about working out and dieting.
4 - Day 1 smoke cigs, Day 2 dip snuff
5 - When you sit down at a new table, introduce yourself as "The guy that caused Brandi to kill herself"
6 - Get it all in on the Hard 10 at PlayHo
7 - Cockblock Devilfish at the Hooker Bar while pounding Kryptonite Shots
8 - Refuse to wear a gay Pokerati patch
9 - Tell Phil Ivey that you're glad that bitch Hillary got out of the race so he can now focus on McCain.
10 - High card Farha for $20k
11 - Let Shane play your cards for one level
12 - Win Main Event, give it all to Freeze, get him close to even
13 - Yell "Go Batfaces" after taking down every pot
14 - No cabs, only rickshaws
15 - Don't get wife pregnant
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5 comments:
There's nothing funny about working out and dieting.
Not sure if this the greatest post in the history of blogging, but...nope, changed my mind...great post in the history of blogging...ever.
Also I would add the following:
16. Do something completely different by vomiting only inside the hotel room trash can.
17. Ask Dan to dinner, insist on taking home the leftovers and stiff him for the check.
18. Hold back $600 of entry fee to buy some new golf clubs.
19. While cock-blocking Devilfish at the Hooker Bar, tell Bob Stupak you'll fuck him for half of what he's offering those other skanks.
20. Purchase a tricked-out Rascal and challenge Doyle Brunson to a race for pink slips.
Can NOT tell you how horny I am for America's juices. Qwhoop!!!
No. 15 seems much less doable than Nos. 2. 3, 4, 7, or 9.
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