Ok. Top 5 uncomfrontable moments in Batface hisory...(as told by me)
5. Yelling at the Chinese waitress "HONG KONG SUE"
4. HONG KONG SUE slapping Clonie on the ass
3. Gonz taking a swing at Tiny B
2. Scott letting eveyone know how expensive his rug was
1. Tim
Go Batfaces!!!
(feel free to add your own)
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16 comments:
Can't disagree with any of those (altho I'd put the HKS origin higher). Rounding out the top 10 are probably Johnny Fingers Episode I: In Touch with my Feminine Side, Episode II: Is this Scott's House?, and Episode III: You Should Have Seen What I Didn't Bring to the Party.
:(
When did Gonz take a swing at Tiny Box?
Also, the top 10 should absolutely include any instance of "the seven seconds". This is the period of awkward silence that occurs when Todd busts out, but before he slams the front door on his way to the car.
NEVER took a swing at Tiny. I've taken a swing at Tim (and I hit him good, too), but never Tiny.
Now, for those who are curious, the list of people I've wanted to hit, but never have (though there's still time):
--Tulsa (Just 'cause)
--Dan (The next time he screws me, it'll be No. 1,107)
--Randy (He hit me in the head with something when we first met for reasons I can't remember)
--Shane (Because he thinks he's tough and often blathers about flash lights and paper bags and other inane, nonsensical bullshit)
--Summer (Because he's the only Batface better looking--and more humble--than I am)
--Son of Sue (For incorrectly claiming that I had swung on Tiny)
I threw a poker chip at your head. Everyone froze, you paused...awkward silence... then you demanded that I say sorry. Which I did. Fag.
I was told the swing was taken at the Lodge because Tiny was being an asshole. Youre right, no way I could believe anything like that could happen.
Did HKS himself tell you that? I'll bet he also told you he hasn't gone five-hole on a flopped set of Asian strippers. You need a family fact-checker.
The part about him being an asshole that night is true. But, instead of hitting him, I simply left and went home. Honestly, I forget why it got so heated. But I remember who everyone blamed.
Only later was it revealed, contrary to popular opinion (Eric, looking YOUR way), that Tiny had instigated the entire situation and that I was actually in the right (for once).
Wrong. You came around and over the upstairs table at The Lodge after I egged you on about something. Tulsa basically tackled you as you were preparing to throw a punch. Dan spent the next 30 minutes chastizing you about acting that way in his "office" and then you left. I think you had probably mis-played another hand and busted again.
How did you not include the topshelf at Shane's house?
I want to see a Thum top 5.
Tiny, that's so NOT true. We jawed at each other, and Dan did lecture me (but, like Tulsa, he was wrong; ask Tagg, he had to set them both straight), but I never got ready to hit you. In fact, I remember exactly what happened. While we were yelling at each other, you said "what are you gonna do Gonz, hit me?" THAT's when I got up to leave. No one had to restrain me. (Besides, you think Eric could restrain me? Come on!)
All you can come up with is, "Ask Tagg"? Really?
All of this is very uncomfrontble. #6?
Thursday, I will be bringing to the poker game a note that Todd wrote to my wife in highschool, some 18 years ago (they were close friends back in the day). I think it will end this silly dispute. It begins with something like, "I'm sorry I've become so sarcastic lately..."
What about Shane telling us (and all of Dallas in D magazine) how much he spent on his rug?
And Tim talking to Clonie about her daughter's menstruation and asking her the size of her husband's penis?
As to the Gonz-Tiny B near-fight ... Gonz, with all due respect, what happened is that Todd was being Todd, but you took less kindly to it than usual. It happened at a very difficult time for you and your family, so I think we all understood that you were a little fucked up in the head, and were willing to cut you a little slack. At the same time, because he loves you, Eric was not going to let you make things worse for yourself and all of us.
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