Overheard at Mavs Headquarters

Donnie N.: Look, Mark, until you pay my daddy what you owe, me and the guys aren't gonna help with the draft tonight.

Mark C.: So, hardball is it? I don't need your help anyway.

Donnie N.: Fine.

Mark C.: Fine.

Donnie N.: FINE.

Mark C.: FINE.

...........

Mark C.: Donnie, what if I send pops a case of scotch, and we just use the Yahoo! autodraft feature?

Donnie N.: Works for me, coach.

Mark C.: Now, let me get back to watching my Cubs game. I'll pin all of this on Avery in my blog tomorrow.

HORSE Fantasy Draft

The most prestigious WSOP tournament starts today, the $50,000 HORSE event. This the the bracelet the pros really want. To feel like we have a stake in the tourney, Tiny B and I had a little fantasy draft. The rule are simple: We each pick 5 players and the one who finishes highest wins, with a bonus if one of our guys actually wins the whole thing. Here are the teams:

son of sue:
Ivey
Lindgren
Antonius
Greenstein
Tom Freaking Schnieder

Tiny B:
Benyamine
Kenny Tran
Bloch
Matusow
David Singer

May the Lord be with Tiny's team.

UPDATE
After Day 1, Team Matusow's Guys is stuggling. Singer is the 2nd shortest stack, and everyone else except for Benyamine is below average in chips.

With the exception of Ivey, my team is dominating. The other 4 are all above avg in chips, and 3 are in the top 25.

TBR's team is also doing pretty well, except for Hellmuth who busted the first day. Of his remaining four players, 3 are above avg with 1 in the top 25.


UPDATE
Heading into Day 3, here is where everyone stands:
Matusow's Guys lost 2 more players yesterday, and all his hopes hinge on 2 players with less than avg chips, Kenny Tran and Andy Bloch. Good luck all in.

My team lost two player, but Greenstein is 2nd in chips, and Lindgren is well above avg. Ivey nursed a shortstack all day and is way below avg.

TBR's hopes are all on Doyle, who is 10th in chips.

DAY 3 UPDATE
Tiny B's team is down to Andy Bloch, who has a little less than avg chips.

On my team, Ivey is the 2nd shortest stack, Lindgren is a little below avg, and Greenstein is still 2nd in chips.

TBR's horse, Doyle Brunson, is still going strong and finished the day 9th in chips.

Imus Thinks All Criminals are Black

What a fool. After someone mentioned that Adam "Don't call me Pacman" Jones has been arrested 6 times since he was drafted, Imus asked "What color is he?" After a slight pause, he was told African American, to which Imus replied in a chuckle, "Oh, well, there you go. Ok, now we know."

murmur


http://www.redlasso.com/ClipPlayer.aspx?id=5127eb0c-cf73-4b8f-9805-926190b45245

The Poll that Wasn't

I was supposed to be in charge of this week's edition of the Batfaces poll. However, since I can't be concise about anything, my content for the poll was...welll...just too long. Nonetheless, I offer said content anyway. Please feel free to vote or comment as necessary.


Poll Topic: What is the most likely scenario should a Batface win a WSOP bracelet?

1. Tim uses bracelet to cover his bald spot. Also, has bracelet tattooed on the arm of his "Wild Thing" tattoo.
2. Celeste drops 87 pounds and loses bracelet in public bathroom when it slips off his waist.
3. Freeze immediately loses it at Caesar's when he has to put it up for collateral on a four-way, six-bet black jack scenario.
4. Todd pummels his cat to death with it because he "hates the people that made it."
5. Randy wakes up in Thailand only to find his bracelet and his left kidney missing.
6. Eric White casually throws bracelet into the safe containing his other $47 million.
7. Sommer tricks out bracelet to make it the first ever Wi-Fi enabled WSOP bracelet.
8. Thum brings home bracelet, shows it to his kids, and then beats the hell out of them claiming "that's what will happen to you if I EVER catch you screwing with it."
9. Simmons has to trade bracelet for groceries after he maxes himself out on ATM withdrawals for the day.
10. Shane straps bracelet to ankle claiming "it is only there for support".
11. Zach Ballenger gives bracelet to his mother after realizing his father was too busy losing a $150 satellite to watch his final table performance.
12. McGill storms into Wick's office, brandishes bracelet and knocks Wick unconscious claiming, "Take that, BITCH!"
13. Wilonsky has bracelet melted down and made into miniature Oscar statue.
14. Sang trades bracelet for "aggressive" handjobs.
15. Dan Michalski tries to use bracelet as his in to get into Clonie's pants. After he fails, he consoles himself by eating corn dog dipped into mashed potatoes and gravy.
16. Fawcett uses bracelet to decorate the new "in-law wing" at his house.

The Significance of Eric's Big Finish

...and by finish, I mean his closing move in the sack.

Seriously, I'm referring to his impressive finish in event 23 at this year's World Series of Poker. This marked the third WSOP cash by a Batface and it also marks a significant improvement over past triumphs.

Special thanks to Zach for sending these numbers to me. Here's the story:

Randy Brown (aka TBR or Tibber) makes Batface history by going deep in the 2005 WSOP Main Event. Randy finished 178th out of a field of 5919 for winnings of $39,075. He beat 97 percent of the field and his winnings represent a 290 percent return over the tournament buy-in. This performance still stands as the largest Batface cash in a WSOP event.

Zach Ballenger was the next Batface to make a run at glory. At the 2006 WSOP, he went deep into a $2500 Buy-in, No Limit Event. Zach finished 50th in a field of 1290 to outlast 97.2 percent of the field. His $8901 in winnings represented a 280 percent return over the buy-in.

Eric's recent performance saw him placing 25th in a field of 1344, meaning he bested 98.2 percent of the field and saw a 600-plus percent return over the tournament buy-in. Statistically, this is clearly the best performance of any Batface at the WSOP.

Todd "Tiny B" Phillips at least deserves honorable mention with his 5th place finish in the $1500 Buy-in No limit Event at the 2006 WSOP Circuit Event in Tunica. Although not a WSOP venue performance, this finish stands as the lone Batface final table appearance at a major tournament. In finishing 5th out 228, Todd outclassed 97.8 percent of the field and his pay-out was a whopping 1225 percent return over the buy-in.

In another post, we should lay odds on who will be the first Batface to make a WSOP final table...or possibly win a bracelet? Coming soon.

Incidentally, I've played in 6 WSOP events and haven't ever made it past the first break, much less cashed. Doesn't matter though, 'cuz I'm killing it at the cash games.

Hate Blackjack

Hate Blackjack

Retraction

Shane has never been this bad.

Also dunno.

Don't even know

Howie Mandel and Wil Farrell ?

Tims bad beat. Really.

go batfaces

Strep Throat

Also Kryptonite

Go Kryptonite Shots

Man down

Crippled with 10s against AJ when he flops a set and the dude turns a straight. 13K+

Break Time

Down to 26 players. Eric has 65000 which is low. Average is 200k.

Also, Randy is the new Shane.

Dylan Bircheff. Go F Bombs.

Event 23 Update

"Breaking to 3 tables now. 27 left. $13k. He has 60k. Short. Blinds are 4k 8k - 1k and going up in 8 minutes"

Randy down

Tiny B - "Randy is standing on a chair when eric goes all in. Randy falls, everyone folds, and tournament director yells at Randy."

TBR knows balance