The Batfaces

Yea, but can he play AK?

2010-05-28T11:40:00.002-05:00

Full Article

Didn't know Sang had a son, but not that surprised. This is pretty awful, but you can't say parenting is at fault, Dad's perspective, from the article:

"He looks pretty healthy to me. I don't see the problem." Just so you know, Ardi's father is legally blind and has no nostrils.

Batface memory of the day memory of the day

2009-12-08T16:50:00.004-06:00

Remember the good ole' days when I was posting great memories of the day? Well, here's one of my favorites from that brief but reflective series. Enjoy.
http://thebatfaces.blogspot.com/2009/10/batface-memory-of-day_08.html

Super-Breaking Poker News

2009-11-13T14:07:00.013-06:00

In a developing story, recent information has leaked from the offices of some formerly fertile douchebag claiming that a certain, well-known poker professional has committed the single greatest sin in the game - namely welching on a marker.

The player in question has not been identified, but sources point to either this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, this person or this person.

Apparently, the player in question managed to lose $60,000 in one evening in a $0.25/$0.50 game at an established, underground card-room, located somewhere in North Texas.

After the loss, the player may or may not have written a check to cover the debt and then requested that the check recipient (who might be this person, this person, this person, this person or this person) hold the check for one day when the check would be exchanged for three-$20,000 chips from this Las Vegas casino.

The following morning, the loser called the winner and claimed that collusion was clearly the reason for his/her losses and refused to pay the marker.

Interestingly enough, this same player allegedly had another outstanding marker for over three years. That marker's estimated value was somewhere between $9.50 and $16,725 and was owed to one of our own Batfaces. He claims he was able to finally receive payment by "using his anger."

Again, the story is still developing, but we think someone is about to get kah-rah-tayed.

How I Help People

2009-11-13T13:12:00.007-06:00

Batface-y guy Michael Thum asked me to come up with some suggestions for his son's 2nd Grade basketball team. Before beginning work, I recollected the various names of teams I participated on while in elementray school. These included:

Blazers
Tigers
Lions (3 times)
Red Sox
All-Stars
Pythons

All totally fucking lame. Tummy's kids deserve better than this. All kids deserve better than this. So, I'm posting a copy of the suggestions I e-mailed to Tummy. Please feel free to repurpose any of these for your own child's needs.

Scary Guys
Ankle Biters
Parisian Gentlemen
Entrepreneurs
Ballers (tee-hee)
Screaming Pharoahs (No idea what this means, but it sounds cool)
Leviathans
Krakens (again with a nautical theme, but you can only use this name if it has something of a non-sensical modifier (i.e. Blue Krakens, Speedy Krakens, Gleaming Krakens))
Benevolent Werewolves
Snipers (Double entendre and politically incorrect – clever, because this name would have been perfectly acceptable when we were kids. Still perfectly appropriate. Anyone who protests is uptight and in need of a beating.)
Faber Mongols (I hope you get the “Animal House” reference)
Invincible Monkeys
Welterweights
Neapolitan Mastiffs (Why is that only a few breeds ever get mascot recognition? Bulldogs, Terriers, Greyhounds, etc. Why not give a shout out to another one?)
North Central Texans
Dengue Fever (Why? Because there is no treatment for Dengue Fever. You can only hope it doesn’t kill you.)
Impenetrable Armor
Wicked Voodoo
Blunt Force Trauma
Screaming Bohemians
Proven Muscle
Obelisks
Untamed Heroes
Triage Specialists
Rugby Champions (because it makes no sense)
4 ½ Feet of Pain
Ornery Boys
Dogs of War (You can start every game with the coach screaming, “Cry havoc!” and then the parents scream, “and let slip the dogs of war!” The opposing parents will hate you because they didn’t think of it.)
Robot Hippies
Sea Monkeys
Witness Protection Program
Canadiens
Retiarii (these were the types of gladiators who fought with nets. Nets…get it?)
Chili Dogs
Chick Magnets
Leather Belts
Jukers
Angry Hamsters
Shaolin Vigilantes
Three-Point Mafia
Li’l Big Men
Hardcourt Mayhem
Dangerous Blokes
Power of Attorney
Hickory Huskers (from “Hoosiers”, but you have to get the red jerseys and the sweet gold shorts. Awesome.)
Dirty Rasslers
City Councilmen
Hoof-Hearted (your mascot would have to be a horse, but say the name quickly)
Ball Breakers
Crab Fishermen

In something of a shocking move, they actually went with Ballers, which is likely the most offensive name on the list

Batface memory of the day

2009-10-08T11:54:00.003-05:00

This theme is already going not-well, just spent 40 minutes reading every post on the below page trying to decide which is best. So, here - you decide. I'm leaning towards the pic of Fawcett and Johnny Fingers, altho recaps of Batface Softball and a home-game night at Danang are in the running.

http://thebatfaces.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2006-10-01T01:22:00-05:00&max-results=50

Batface memory of the day

2009-10-07T15:21:00.003-05:00

No time or interest in producing new content, but will try to put up an amusing post from our glorious better days every few days. Feel free to play along.

Very Shaney, by Tiny B
MONDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2005

Converstaion overheard at the La Riatta tournament on Saturday night, while standing in the buffet line.

Some guy to Shane: Hey are you the guy that won this tournament last year?
Shane : Yes, I am.
Guy : Cool, did you go play in the World Series?
Shane : Yes
Guy : How was it?
Shane : It was good. I went out to Vegas a couple days before the Main Event started to see what the scene was like. We stayed at Caesars and I played a couple small tournaments at The Palms to get ready for the WSOP. I played on the third day and was very nervous before I started. The previous day had been very relaxing as I went to the movie and to look at sharks. I also tried to get a shave at the barber shop at Mandalay Bay, but they were booked. That sucked. So I get to the Rio and I feel like I'm going to throw up because I'm so nervous. I quickly downed six screwdrivers so I could relax. I didn't recognize any players at my table. I played the first hand and stole the blinds. I stole a couple more blinds early on and started to feel comfortable. I was playing well and realizing that I shouldn't be scared of any of these players. I raised with A7 on the button after it was folded around to me. One person called. I flopped trip sevens but eventually folded because he had flopped a full house. Most people would have gone broke, but I lost the least amount possible, so I felt good about that. There was a guy on my left, who defended his blinds like crazy, often re-raising. I had a great read on him and knew what his game was like. A few hands later I flopped two pair, but laid it down because I put the other guy on a straight flush. It was a great lay down. Most players would have gone broke. I had built my stack to 15000TC and was dealt pocket 9's. I raised and it happen to be Mr Protectors big blind and he re-raised me. I had a great read on him, so I re-raised all-in. he called me in.00073 seconds with KK. I lost most of my chips. I continue to this day to beat myself up over this. I went with my read and it was wrong. I still think I played the hand wonderfully. I talked to some of my poker playing friends about it and they agreed. Marcel said it was a good play on my part. My friend Clonie Gowen, who I'm going to the Cowboy game with tomorrow, also agreed. I double up a couple times and then was dealt QQ. It was raised before me and I went all in. I got called by A8. Can you believe someone called me with A8? Donkey! He hit and Ace on the river and I was busted out. I played great poker and was out of the tournament.
Guy(clearly dazed and beaten): Oh.

Breaking Sports News, Must Credit Batfaces.com

2009-10-06T16:21:00.002-05:00

ESPN Dallas is live

A (More) Relevant Post

2009-09-01T10:06:00.004-05:00

OK, so your Texas Rangers have played admirably, but the August swoon looks like it may well be upon our heroes.

The Rangers surprising season has had my thoughts shifting away from this and toward to the great game overall and I've perused several lists claiming an all century/all-time lineup. With a few exceptions, it is all but impossible to choose the single greatest player at any given position. This made me think that it might be possible to widen the field a bit...say, select the 6 best players at each position (while allowing 30 at pitcher). Thus, with the help of the Tiny Box, I submit an all time list of the best by position. Debate or ignore:

Catcher
Yogi Berra
Roy Campanella
Johnny Bench
Ivan Rodriguez
Josh Gibson
Mike Piazza
First Base
Lou Gehrig
Hank Greenberg
Willie McCovey
Albert Pujols
Harmon Killebrew
Jimmie Foxx

Second Base
Rogers HOrnsby
Joe Morgan
Rod Carew
Ryne Sandberg
Roberto Alomar
Nap Lajoie

Third Base
Wade Boggs
Mike Schmidt
Eddie Matthews
Pie Traynor
George Brett
Brooks Robinson

Shortstop
Ernie Banks
Ozzie Smith
Cal Ripken
Honus Wagner
Derek Jeter
Alex Rodriguez

Left Field
Ted Williams
Rickey Henderson
Stan Musial
Joe Jackson
Lou Brock
Barry Bonds

Center Field
Ty Cobb
Tris Speaker
Mickey Mantle
Joe DiMaggio
Willie Mays
Ken Griffey, Jr.

Right Field
Babe Ruth
Roberto Clemente
Mel Ott
Tony Gwynn
Frank Robinson
Hank Aaron

Utility
Jackie Robinson
Paul Molitor
Robin Yount
Pete Rose
Craig Biggio

Pitcher
Bruce Sutter
Mariano Rivera
Sandy Koufax
Christy Matthewson
Cy Young
Grover Alexander
Lefty Grove
Whitey Ford
Satchel Paige
Bob Feller
Greg Maddux
Warren Spahn
Bob Lemon
Robin Roberts
Bob Gibson
Steve Carlton
Juan Marichal
Fergie Jenkins
Gaylord Perry
Rollie Fingers
Tom Seaver
Nolan Ryan
Jim Palmer
Phil Niekro
Goose Gossage
Hoyt Wilhelm
Catfish Hunter
John Smoltz
Roger Clemens
Dennis Eckersley

Players not making this list include: Carlton Fisk, Gary Carter, Willie Stargell, Gene Sisler, Orlando Cepeda, Rafael Palmeiro, Mark McGwire, Phil Rizzuto, Pee Wee Reese, Carl Yastrzemski, Joe Medwick, Ralph Kiner, Duke Snider (a personal favorite), Kirby Puckett, Sam Crawford, Al Kaline, Reggie Jackson, Dave Winfield, Jim Bunning, Early Wynn, Lee Smith, Dizzy Dean, Dazzy Vance, Burleigh Grimes, Tom Glavine, Don Drysdale, Don Sutton, Curt Schilling, Pedro Martinez.

If my memory is correct, of the 83 players who made the list, only five (Pudge, Ryan, Jenkins, Perry, Gossage) ever suited up for your Texas Rangers and ,oddly, four of those were pitchers.

The New Gig

2009-08-22T13:03:00.004-05:00

I was just hired as a part-time consultant by Spurt Productions, an adult movie production company based in Canoga Park, California. Apparently, they are having a difficult time conceptualizing marketable stage names for their...err...artists. Naturally, they reached out to me. Who wouldn't? Anyway, below, you can find my initial list of submissions. Also, I think you'll find that many of these would be great to use as an alias next time you check in to a hotel:

Remy Danzig
Matsushita Jones
Doyle Cabbage
Pablo Farkle
Abigail Chafe
BJ Hunter
Sergio Miyagi
Breezy Lube
Muhammad Lippincott, Jr.
Kostas McBride
Genevieve Donk
Antoine Ponyboy
Carmen Mao
Buffy Chowder
Blake P. Tater
Boris Mulcahy
Hailey Dammidge
Axel Poindexter
Miles Deep
Bitsy Ironsides
Tammy Bedroll
Stonewall Lipschitz
"Chicago" Bobby Rash
Buck Taint
Franz Turban
Angus al-Hariri
Keira Dipthong
Mai Dixon
Tiffany Gash
Tito Bumpus
Luigi Friction
McKenzie Squat
Crispin Walenda
Dill Bildo
Esther Diaspora
Burt Pounder
Wilma Bottomfront
Mimi Grafenberg
Duke Rabinowitz
Paige Cramps
Helena Decepticon
Percival "The Cinch" Valentine
Sara Mae Plowright
Harmony Grillspat
Katrina Fluffer
Herbie Felterbox

Batfaces in Florida

2009-07-23T16:31:00.000-05:00

Who Cares?

2009-07-20T16:24:00.010-05:00

OK, so I know no one reads this blog anymore. Except for this guy. And this guy. Maybe this girl. Oh yeah, and this guy.

So, to the four of you I say, get ready to kiss another 6 hours of your life good-bye. I've found yet another complete time-waster of a website.

But first, how about a boring diatribe of why I was searching for said website? Here goes. I watched HBO's amazing sports documentary Brooklyn Dodgers: The Ghosts of Flatbush for about the 8th time the other day (seriously, if you remotely enjoy baseball, you'll love the docu). The program had some nostalgic value for me because half of my Dad's family were Brooklyn Dodgers faithful while the other rooted for the St. Louis Cardinals. Apparently, if you lived in Amarillo, Texas pre-1968, you were either a Cardinals or a Dodgers fan. Go figure.

Anyway, Ghosts of Flatbush culminates with the Dodgers 1955 World Series win, after a decade of near misses, and the subsequent political battle that led to their relocation to Los Angeles just a few years later.

A few interesting notes on the 1955 series:

1). The Dodgers won the series in 7 games over the New York Yankees, but the style of play and management were vastly different that what we typically see in today's playoff scenarios. First, the two lions of the Dodgers pitching staff were Don Newcombe and Carl Erskine. Both were in the primes of their careers and both had been the mainstays of a solid 5 man rotation. Newcombe pitched the first game and lost. Erskine did not start until the 4th game and was pulled after the third inning, although the Dodgers eventually won the game to tie the series at 2-2. That was it for these two. Neither threw another pitch in the series, although both were available for the decisive game 7. Brooklyn put their top two pitchers on the mound for a total of 8 2/3 innings of the 60 the Dodgers would pitch in the series. Odd.

2). On the downswing of his career, Jackie Robinson had moved to third- from second Base a few years prior. Although still effective, Jackie Robinson was probably the Dodgers 5th or 6th best offensive player. In the series, he was actually benched in Game 7.

3). Everyone's favorite former Ranger's Manager (and person you least want in a street fight) Don Zimmer played in 4 games during the series for the Dodgers at second base and he started in the decisive seventh game.

4). Don Newcombe was a beast. Although his series performance wasn't spectacular he led the Dodgers pitching staff with 20 wins during the regular season. He also hit .359 in 117 at bats and hit 7 home runs. By contrast, Jackie Robinson hit 8 homers in 317 at-bats that same season.

5). After watching the documentary, if Johnny Podres isn't your favorite player of all time, you are an idiot.

Enough about the '55 series. In the documentary, Ebbets Field is as much a part of the story as the Dodgers themselves. The Polo Grounds and Yankee Stadium also get ample billing. I knew the dimensions of these stadiums were unusual and was hoping to find photos or articles written that would give me a better feeling for these old ballparks. What I found was this site. Holy shit. Photos. Diagrams. Bleacher profiles. Pretty much anything you could ever want to know about any major league stadiums (and a few none major league ballparks). Have fun.

You'll also notice that the quirkiness of many of these parks had a huge impact on how owners and managers built their teams to excel in these parks.

Here are a few of my favorite observations:

1). The Polo Grounds, home of Bobby Thomson's "Shot Heard Round the World", was a one of the strangest shaped stadiums ever. Built like a bathtub, the left and right field fences were absurdly short (279 and 258 feet respectively).

The left field fence played even shorter than that because the second deck hung aggressively over the lower deck. In fact, the only way to hit a home run into the lower left field seats was by hitting a line drive.

From the corners, the fences dropped sharply away. Center field (power alley-to- power alley) measured a whopping 440 feet. Essentially, if you were going to clear the fences at the Polo Grounds you only had about half of the total fence area to aim for.

In deep center, there was an unusual cutout that held the entrances to the players locker rooms. This actually meant that the Polo Grounds measured...get this...483 feet in absolute dead center. No one ever hit a ball over the 483 fence, and after 1932 only four balls were ever hit past the walls that connected left and right center. Interestingly, one of these was hit by Lou Brock.

In the video of Willie Mays famous catch off Vic Wertz in the 1954 World Series, you can see the center field cut-out to the left of where Mays actually caught the ball. By all estimations, Mays was probably 425-430 feet from home plate when he caught the ball.

Also, the bullpens at the Polo Grounds were located in the outfield..IN FAIR PLAY.

2). Griffith Stadium, former home of the Washington Senators, measured 421 in center field, 391 down the left power- alley and 405 down the left field line.

3). The Baker Bowl, former home of the Philadelphia Phillies, measured 342 feet down the left field line and 408 to Center. It was a paltry 281 feet down the right field line and just 300 feet in right center. However, the right field wall awesome 60 feet tall. By my own calculations, a 60 foot wall in right field at the Ballpark in Arlington would block the view of all, but the top five rows in the upper deck. Wow.

4). The field used in Field of Dreams in Dyersville, IA is smaller than a regulation softball field. It measures 281 in left, 314 in center and 262 in right. This would have been the perfect place for the Batfaces to play because there would be much less ground to cover defensively, and after yet another embarrassing loss we could all just run for the corn...

Is Scott Fischman the David Duval of Poker?

2009-06-23T12:18:00.008-05:00

Judge for yourself:

Sports News Fail

2009-06-16T12:11:00.001-05:00

from the genius of FailBlog:

The Wire vs. Sports, Again

2009-05-29T13:44:00.004-05:00

TJ Houshmandzadeh v. Kima.

The Wire vs. Sports, revisited

2009-05-22T10:04:00.002-05:00

2. Omar Little vs. Randy Moss.

The Wire vs. Sports, a series

2009-05-20T09:36:00.004-05:00

1. Josh Childress vs. Bubbles.

Pop Quiz, Hot-Shot

2009-05-03T22:22:00.005-05:00

Who are you most likely to see at the horse track?

This person or this person?

Scattershooting While Wondering Whatever Happened to Scott Fawcett

2009-04-13T10:31:00.004-05:00

Watching yesterday's coverage of the Masters made me think about golf, which I haven't played in nearly two months. It also made think about how cool it would be to see our ol' buddy Scott Fawcett in the heat on the final day of a PGA event.

I then fondly recalled Scott's outstanding ass-slapping skills and I wonder if he still has the stones to bring this kind of performance out of his bag of tricks.

Guy Spanks Girl and Shoves Pie in Her Face - Watch more Funny Videos

A sad, sad, sad, sad day for Randy Brown.

2009-04-08T16:17:00.008-05:00

Tragic.

An Open Response to Fucking Paul Tagg

2009-04-03T14:10:00.015-05:00

I can't believe the Batfaces got called down by some Canadian fag whose ties to our secret organization are circumspect, at best. Anyway, I assume that most of his post was directed at me, so I would like to take this opportunity to refute his claims. Let's look at the accusations:

1. Egotistical. No way. Not me. No one is more humble than me.

2. Misanthropic. I don't even know what this word means...and when people use words I don't understand it makes me hate not only them, but all of humanity.

3. Philandering. Really?!?

4. Racist. Not me. Tim definitely, but not me.

5. Alcoholic. No fucking way. Wait, you might have me on this one.

6. Back-stabbing. Not me. I don't work at D Magazine.

7. Bulimic. If by bulimic, you mean that I sometimes throw up in the middle of the night after pounding a fifth of VO, then I guess I might be bulimic.

8. Should fuck myself with Sang's huge head. In truth, I would like to do this, but every time I hang out with Sang, we just end up singing show tunes.

So, Mr. Tagg. Take your comments and stick them deep inside your...

You know, on second thought, Tagg is probably right.

Good post.

All Batfaces are egotistical misanthropic philandering racist alcoholic back-stabbing bulimics that should go fuck themselves with Sang's huge head

2009-04-03T09:50:00.008-05:00

Back to you, poker.

Batface Beat, Part 5

2009-03-31T08:56:00.001-05:00

Batface Beat, Part 4

2009-03-24T13:20:00.001-05:00

So Cold in Big D

2009-03-23T14:58:00.005-05:00

If one or two of our friends has a business engagement, it makes it all but impossible for the Batfaces to make a home game. Why? Well, certain people hate certain people and certain people are preggers and certain people just don't feel like playing poker right now.

So, if someone could please explain this one to me: how the fuck do we 'posed to keep peace?

P.S. How is it that this motherfucker is still breathing?

Batface Beat, Part 3

2009-03-13T08:44:00.003-05:00

Guns joins the conversation for some in-depth analysis.

Batface Beat, Part 2

2009-03-09T09:21:00.001-05:00

Thanks to our good budy over at Pokerati.com for keeping us on the poker landscape.

Batface Beat, Part 1

2009-03-03T15:51:00.004-06:00

Didn't figure this blog was that relevant anymore since we went a full month without any posts. But it looks like someone out there is keeping up:

Balls Out!

2009-01-28T17:01:00.003-06:00

Whom do you think will be the first Batface to get a pair of these?

(My money is on Tulsa or Son of Sue.)

Balls Out Jeans - Watch more free videos

Seriously, the Batfaces should look for some co-branding on this.

ALT HED (for Sommer): Ball Out

Baseball

2009-01-24T14:07:00.003-06:00

Yep.

Go stuff

2009-01-22T18:45:00.000-06:00

And the Award Goes to...(Episode 5)

2009-01-13T23:57:00.007-06:00

Wow! A double post today (but not nearly as good as the prior one). Must be the cocaine. Just kidding. Seriously though. Anyone know where I can get some. Not really asking for me, but Sommer is having issues at the homestead and could use the help.

OK, so this will the shortest and simplest award post...

Batface Poker Player of the Year

Easy. Celeste. No contest. Closest a Batface has ever come to a final table at the WSOP. Read more here.

Also, Eric is a great roommate unless you actually expect to him to follow up on his promise to give you a back rub.

And the Award Goes to...(Episode 4)

2009-01-13T21:39:00.006-06:00

Batface Ballsiest Move of the Year

(Note: After hoisting a few at happy hour today with this Batface and this Batface, I was clearly reminded that I am woefully behind on my list of annual awards. I'll try to catch up. IN the meantime, enjoy this).

Anyway, this category was a one horse race.

After making something like $10 billion in the last two years, Batface Scott Fawcett decided that golf was much cooler than money. In the process he set out to qualify for the PGA Tour. That's right, kids. The PGA Tour. Not some random grabass barbecue circuit, but the P-fuckin' GA.

To do so, he would have to survive three (or maybe it was four) rounds of qualifying against many of the best golfers in the nation. Even if he made it to the brutal final qualifying stage, he would be playing against some of the best young players in the country as well as many grizzled veterans from PGA Tours past.

Let's put this in perspective. I'm better than at least 98 percent of the golfing populace and I am a distant third amongst the Batfaces. The happiest of all Batfaces is an admirable second. Sir Scott is the clear favorite. Unfortunately, I can't scratch either one's ass on the golf course...and Cap'n Happy Pants is a distant follower to Scott (who has taken a new lease on life and exiled his alcohol-fueled alter ego, "Steve," to another planet). Scott is that damn good.

However, to live his dream, he would have to play his best..and he just about did. He was amazing in the qualifying rounds, including an incredible four-round, 39-under masterpiece at Pine Valley. In the end, he narrowly missed the big show, but automatically qualified for spots on some of the minor league tours and he could qualify for a few Tour events via early-week qualifiers. Look for Mr. Fawcett in an upcoming weekend telecast soon.

Unfortunately, Scott's attempt to chase the dream wasn't even a close second. The Ballsiest Move of the Year actually belongs to Scott's now-wife. With a successful legal career in progress, the to-be-Mrs. Fawcett responded to Scott's marriage proposal with a hay maker. Actual transcript of the discussion follows:

Scott: Rebecca, will you marry me?
Rebecca: Yes.
Scott: You've made me so happy.
Rebecca: Uh...ok...great.
Scott: We'll be a great team. I'm going to play on the PGA tour and you'll be my beautiful and talented lawyer wife.
(Pause)
Rebecca: Sorry, I was just on the phone.
Scott: Oh, with who?
Rebecca: My boss. I just quit my job.
Scott: Uhhh...
Rebecca: That poker table has to go.
TBR: Go Batfaces!
(end scene)

Congratulations, Mrs. Scott Fawcett!

Go Biloxi?

2009-01-09T10:15:00.000-06:00

NFL Picks - Playoff edition

2009-01-03T10:30:00.002-06:00

Atl @ Arz 1
Ind -PK @ SD
Bal -3.5 @ Mia
Phi @ MIn +3

My Childhood Wasn't Perfect

2008-12-23T10:17:00.002-06:00

But thanks, Mom, for never being arrested for this.

Alt Head: Don't fuck with Flatley

Christmas edition of NFL Picks

2008-12-19T22:12:00.003-06:00

Christmas edition because I'm picking every game AND the over/unders. Load up, bitches, because I plan on going 23-7.

Bal @ Dal -4 Under 39...........(lose lose)
Pit -2 @ Ten Under 34
Mia @ KC +3.5 Over 38.6
Arz @ NE -7.5 Under 44.5
Cin +3 @ Cle Under 32.5
Phi @ Was +5 Over 38
SF -5 @ StL Over 42
Atl +3 @ Min Under 42.5
NO @ Det +7 Over 50
Car @ NYG -3 Under 37.5
NYJ @ Sea +3.5 Over 42
Hou -7 @ Oak Under 43.5
Buf @ Den -6.5 Over 45
SD @ TB -3.5 Under 42.5
GB @ Chi -4 Over 41

Merry Christmas

2008-12-12T22:08:00.000-06:00

And the Award Goes To...(Episode 3)

2008-12-09T12:09:00.011-06:00

From the get go, it appeared that several contestants had the right stuff to be called Batface Playa of the Year, However, many of our clan faced early hardships.

The silkiest and smoothest Batface bowed to competition early due to the release of his progeny. A similar fate also took out this guy, this guy and this guy. Interestingly enough, this guy seemed to jump back in the game thanks to his ongoing "i can get beefier than you" bet with this guy. However, his love affair with this has relegated him to second tier status.

Our favorite and most mysterious Batface has lurked all-over the Playa map this year, but a recent dedication to this instead of this and this leaves us wondering.

We also expected a stronger showing from the all-time Batface Playa, but he has either curtailed his activities or is simply keeping them to himself, which could be the most intelligent thing a Batface has ever done.

In the end, this was a one horse race. The man who was once lambasted for his inability to communicate with the opposite sex made a certain lady swoon, often sending her off to work the following morning with a bruised and dented womb. Our hero decided to make an honest woman out of her, meaning that the time of the Freeze has passed. Enter now, the era of the Friesz.

Oh yeah, and he made partner...or something.

NFL Picks

2008-12-07T11:15:00.002-06:00

Instead of a 5 Star LotW, I'm going to give you 6 games. Good luck all in.

Cin +13.5 @ Ind
Hou @ GB -6.5
Cle @ Ten -14
Atl +3 @ NO
Mia +1 @ Buf
Stl +14 @ Arz

And the Award Goes to...(Episode 2)

2008-11-24T11:17:00.009-06:00

The competition for Batface Religion of the Year was a tough one. Strong consideration had to be given to Wicca, Nation of Yahweh and Falun Gong. Even good ol' fundamental Christianity put in a strong showing thanks to new Bent Tree member and First Baptist Senior Pastor Robert Jeffress who called Mitt Romney "a cultist" and insinuated that I, Shane Keller, am not OK.

However, the Batface Religion of the Year is unquestionably Mormonism. The goings on of the church are shrouded in secrecy and include bizarre rituals. However, the Batfaces saw first-hand evidence of the positive effects the church can have. Specifically, when its women folk get divorced, they become filthy whores.

Congratulations Mormonism!

NFL Picks

2008-11-23T12:10:00.002-06:00

Buf @ KC +3
NYJ @ TEN -5½
WAS -3 @ Sea
Oak @ Den -8.5

Five Star LotW
GB +2.5 @ NO

And the Award Goes to...(episode 1)

2008-11-23T10:45:00.005-06:00

The Batface Profession of the Year is, unquestionably, coaching.

Aaron Mattox led his Trinity Valley football team to a stellar 9-2 record and a runner-up finish in SPC Division II. In the championship game, Aaron's Trojans lost a tough see-saw battle against All-Saints Episcopal, who were led by two players already committed to Texas A&M and Louisiana Tech, which is highly unusual for a school this small. Aaron's kids weren't blessed with nearly this kind of talent, yet they more than held their own - a clear sign of a coach on his A-game. We see big things ahead for for our favorite coach.

Elsewhere, Zach Ballenger decided New York and the wine industry were no match for the call of the whistle, as he packed his bags, headed back to Dallas to pursue additional education which will lead him to the coaching path. Incidentally, his current alma mater is known as "the cradle of coaches."

2008 Batface Annual Awards

2008-11-22T00:16:00.008-06:00

Kids,

We've long talked about putting together all kinds of annual awards, but no one ever does it. So, I'm taking the reigns. I've come up with 10 categories that I'm going to award this year. Please feel free to contribute if you want to...or add your own categories. Or go fuck yourself. The awards to come (in later entries) include:

1. Batface Seven Deadly Sin of the Year

2. Batface Poker Performance of the Year

3. Not Really a Batface but Deserving of Batface Credit This Year...uh...person

4. Batface Profession of the Year

5. Batface Playa of the Year

6. Batface Watering Hole of the Year

7. Batface Biblical Reference of the Year

8. Douchebag the Batfaces Hated the Most in 2008

9. Batface Ballsiest Move of the Year

10. Batface Religion of the Year

As my old buddy Eric Celeste often blogs on his more respectable site, "hold on to your effin' hats."

Stay tuned...or fuck off.

Go Soccerfaces?

2008-11-17T19:09:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the spammish nature of this post ... but for those of you who love the other kind of football, and Sang, there's a new soccer blog out there that I think you may eventually enjoy.

(Don't tell him I sent you ... he's only posting because he thinks nobody is reading, which is mostly true, but still ...)

NFL Picks

2008-11-15T15:18:00.002-06:00

No five star LotW this week.

NO -5.5 @ KC
Det @ Car -14
Arz -3 @ Sea
Dal -1.5 @ Was
Den +6.5 @ Atl

Not the Only Batface in School...

2008-11-11T14:57:00.008-06:00

Follow along as Scott Fawcett plays in the 2nd stage of the PGA Tour's Qualifying School. His group tees off tomorrow in Florida at Pete Dye's famed Southern Hills Golf Course.

Good luck all in, and as always, Go Batfaces!!!

http://pgatq.bluegolf.com/bluegolf/pgatq8/event/pgatq822/index.htm

UPDATE:
Reports from the field indicate that Fawcett shot a 67 this morning and is tied for 2nd one shot off the lead. Go Batfaces!!

UPDATE 2
Fawcett shot a 1 under 71 today and is currently tied for 6th, one stroke off the lead.

UPDATE 3
Fawcett shot another 67 and is currently 11 Under and one shot back from leading the tournament. Some stats from the first 3 rounds: Fawcett has the most birdies with 20, best par 4 average at 3.77, breaks par higher than anyone else at 37% of the time.

FINAL UPDATE
Winner winner. The ass line plays again. Fawcett advances to the final stage. Congrats.

NFL Picks

2008-11-09T10:50:00.002-06:00

Ten -3 @ Chi
NO @ At -1.5
Car -9.5 @ Oak
Bal +1.5 @ Hou

5 Star LotW
Sea @ Mia -7.5

Texas-Style Time Waster, #2

2008-11-05T19:26:00.007-06:00

While caught up in my time-wasting efforts, I also crossed this site with an impressive collection of football helmet designs for Texas HIgh School teams.

Kiss another 6 hours of life goodbye.

Texas-Style Time Waster, #1

2008-11-05T17:57:00.009-06:00

Several weeks ago, I made my annual dove-hunting excursion to Sweetwater, Texas for a weekend of camo, killing and manliness. I selected the specific weekend so I could also see the Sweetwater Mustangs engage in a little small-town, Friday-night, grid-iron action. Ranked #13 in the state 3A football rankings, the Mustangs manhandled their larger 4A foes from Big Spring.

However, before we scheduled the trip I thought I would do some research to see if said football game would prove to be unique experience...and it was. Sweetwater's modified bowl stadium is one of the oldest in the state and its design, especially it's end-zone tiering is one of a kind. I found this information at this awesome site. Made up of user submitted photos, you can peruse the vast majority of all football stadiums in the state.

Pretty cool. Kiss at least six hours of your life goodbye.

Election Prediction

2008-11-04T18:43:00.000-06:00

Obama 311
McCain 227

Gripper offs himself.
Shane is happy.

Zach's Picks

2008-11-02T10:32:00.002-06:00

Nyj@buf -5
Jax@cin +9
Tb @kc +9.5
Mia@den -4

Five star
Gb@ten -4

Always Funner

2008-10-28T14:42:00.003-05:00

Since I know how happy hand histories make everyone, here are 4 hands at the end of a SNG that all took place in the last 3 minutes of play. Qwhoop!

PokerStars Game #21569331904: Tournament #116997738, $110+$9 Hold'em No Limit - Level VII (100/200) - 2008/10/28 15:33:49 ET
Table '116997738 1' 6-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 2: FIDO651 (1655 in chips)
Seat 4: BIGLivesOn (1490 in chips)
Seat 5: TheDallasKid (2080 in chips)
Seat 6: Banderaszx (3775 in chips)
FIDO651: posts the ante 25
BIGLivesOn: posts the ante 25
TheDallasKid: posts the ante 25
Banderaszx: posts the ante 25
Banderaszx: posts small blind 100
FIDO651: posts big blind 200
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to TheDallasKid [Ac 8s]
BIGLivesOn: folds
TheDallasKid: raises 1855 to 2055 and is all-in
Banderaszx: folds
FIDO651: calls 1430 and is all-in
Uncalled bet (425) returned to TheDallasKid
*** FLOP *** [4c Jc Kh]
*** TURN *** [4c Jc Kh] [Ts]
*** RIVER *** [4c Jc Kh Ts] [Qs]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
FIDO651: shows [6h Ks] (a pair of Kings)
TheDallasKid: shows [Ac 8s] (a straight, Ten to Ace)
TheDallasKid collected 3460 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***

PokerStars Game #21569432117: Tournament #116997738, $110+$9 Hold'em No Limit - Level VIII (200/400) - 2008/10/28 15:37:23 ET
Table '116997738 1' 6-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 4: BIGLivesOn (2405 in chips)
Seat 5: TheDallasKid (2520 in chips)
Seat 6: Banderaszx (4075 in chips)
BIGLivesOn: posts the ante 25
TheDallasKid: posts the ante 25
Banderaszx: posts the ante 25
TheDallasKid: posts small blind 200
Banderaszx: posts big blind 400
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to TheDallasKid [Jh Ac]
BIGLivesOn: raises 1980 to 2380 and is all-in
TheDallasKid: raises 115 to 2495 and is all-in
Banderaszx: folds
Uncalled bet (115) returned to TheDallasKid
*** FLOP *** [Qh 4d Ts]
*** TURN *** [Qh 4d Ts] [9d]
*** RIVER *** [Qh 4d Ts 9d] [Ks]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
TheDallasKid: shows [Jh Ac] (a straight, Ten to Ace)
BIGLivesOn: shows [Js Jd] (a straight, Nine to King)
TheDallasKid collected 5235 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 5235 | Rake 0
Board [Qh 4d Ts 9d Ks]
Seat 4: BIGLivesOn (button) showed [Js Jd] and lost with a straight, Nine to King
Seat 5: TheDallasKid (small blind) showed [Jh Ac] and won (5235) with a straight, Ten to Ace
Seat 6: Banderaszx (big blind) folded before Flop

PokerStars Game #21569472365: Tournament #116997738, $110+$9 Hold'em No Limit - Level VIII (200/400) - 2008/10/28 15:38:49 ET
Table '116997738 1' 6-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 5: TheDallasKid (3200 in chips)
Seat 6: Banderaszx (5800 in chips)
TheDallasKid: posts the ante 25
Banderaszx: posts the ante 25
TheDallasKid: posts small blind 200
Banderaszx: posts big blind 400
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to TheDallasKid [Tc 5s]
TheDallasKid: raises 2775 to 3175 and is all-in
Banderaszx: calls 2775
*** FLOP *** [4d 3d 7h]
*** TURN *** [4d 3d 7h] [6h]
*** RIVER *** [4d 3d 7h 6h] [Jc]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Banderaszx: shows [8h Kh] (high card King)
TheDallasKid: shows [Tc 5s] (a straight, Three to Seven)
TheDallasKid collected 6400 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 6400 | Rake 0
Board [4d 3d 7h 6h Jc]
Seat 5: TheDallasKid (button) (small blind) showed [Tc 5s] and won (6400) with a straight, Three to Seven
Seat 6: Banderaszx (big blind) showed [8h Kh] and lost with high card King

PokerStars Game #21569493929: Tournament #116997738, $110+$9 Hold'em No Limit - Level VIII (200/400) - 2008/10/28 15:39:36 ET
Table '116997738 1' 6-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 5: TheDallasKid (6400 in chips)
Seat 6: Banderaszx (2600 in chips)
TheDallasKid: posts the ante 25
Banderaszx: posts the ante 25
Banderaszx: posts small blind 200
TheDallasKid: posts big blind 400
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to TheDallasKid [Ad 2h]
Banderaszx: raises 2175 to 2575 and is all-in
TheDallasKid: calls 2175
*** FLOP *** [7d 5d 4c]
*** TURN *** [7d 5d 4c] [5h]
*** RIVER *** [7d 5d 4c 5h] [3h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
TheDallasKid: shows [Ad 2h] (a straight, Ace to Five)
Banderaszx: shows [5c Kc] (three of a kind, Fives)
TheDallasKid collected 5200 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 5200 | Rake 0
Board [7d 5d 4c 5h 3h]
Seat 5: TheDallasKid (big blind) showed [Ad 2h] and won (5200) with a straight, Ace to Five
Seat 6: Banderaszx (button) (small blind) showed [5c Kc] and lost with three of a kind, Five

NFL Week 8 Picks

2008-10-26T10:54:00.002-05:00

SD -3 @ NO
NYG +3 @ Pit
Was -7 @ Det
Arz @ Car -5

5 Star LotW
Atl @ Phi -9

NFL Picks Week 7

2008-10-19T10:49:00.002-05:00

Hasn't been a great start to the football season, but I feel like I am about to turn it around.

SD @ Buf -1
Dal -8 @ StL
SF @ NYG -10
Ind -2 @ GB

5 Star LotW
Ten -8.5 @ KC

Batface Baby Pool

2008-10-19T10:20:00.002-05:00

After many rumblings of cheating, I have posted the original baby pool sign up sheet on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvodQOsxhF0

NASA talk live blog

2008-10-16T19:01:00.002-05:00

live blogging from Brookhaven where a former astronaut is going to talk.

Walked in and first person I see is my lab partner who sprints up to me and says, "holy shit, I am high as fuck.". Love community college.

R.I.P.

2008-10-15T22:53:00.004-05:00

This weekend ought to be a defining moment for Texas Aggie football and thus, for the future of Texas A&M. If Texas Tech comes to Kyle field and puts up a 50 spot and the Aggies don't happen to score 51, then there will be trouble for our favorite university. I almost wish the game was not televised nationally, but hopefully, since it is an 11am kickoff, many of our potential recruits will still be asleep.

Look for the Aggies to be resting in peace come halftime when Tech lights up the scoreboard for at least 28 first half points to our 3.

Oh well, maybe next year is the year!

Prediction: Tech 57, Ags 37

The good news is the Ags cover the 21 point spread.

Gig 'em

P.S. Watch, because of this post, A&M pulls off the upset.

NFL Picks Week 6

2008-10-12T11:17:00.002-05:00

4-1 last week. I'm back.

Oak @ NO -7
Bal + 4 @ Ind
Mia +3 @ Hou
Chi @ Atl +3

5 Star LotW
Jax @ Den -3

Top 5 Things Tha Make Me Happy

2008-10-07T08:08:00.004-05:00

1. The whiney, bitchy, selfish, cancer of a teammate, Mark Teixeira losing in the first round of the playoffs. Now he and Scott Boras have more time to figure out what team they'll rape for tens of millions this winter. Thankfully it won't be the Rangers.

2 - 5. Can't think of anything else.

NFL Picks Weeks 5

2008-10-04T22:51:00.003-05:00

Figured it was time to try, Adam. So here we go...

Ten -2.5 @ Bal
SD @ Mia +6
Atl @ GB -3.5
Sea @ NYG -7

5 Star LotW
Chi -3 @ Det

Separated at Birth?

2008-09-29T13:45:00.013-05:00

Some might think that I would be a big fan of White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen. We were both good glove, slap-hitting shortstops when we played. We're both quick to lose our tempers and possibly say something that we might regret later. And of course, we're both Venezuelan. Despite these similarities, I've never been a fan of Ozzie's UNTIL I read this quote on why he was having trouble remembering a suspended game from April 28 when it resumed in August :

"There was a lot of vodka between that game and today," he told the Sun-Times' Chris De Luca. "Believe me."

NFL Week 4 Picks

2008-09-28T11:09:00.002-05:00

Dont have lots of time to post, but I'm going to dominate this week.

Arz @ NYJ -1
SF +4 @ NO
Was @ Dal -10.5
Hou @ Jax UNDER 43

5 Star LotW
Den -9 @ KC

Crash and Burn

2008-09-22T12:43:00.008-05:00

My good friend and frequent poker opponent DJ AM, suffered a bad beat of his own this weekend. Thankfully, he's going to be OK. I remeber hanging with DJ, Nic and Shannon in Vegas in 05. Those were some wild days.

Week 3 NFL Picks

2008-09-21T09:43:00.002-05:00

Awful stats week, yet somehow still broke even. Which is nice.

Week 2 1-4
Week 2 LotW - W
Season- 3-7
Season LotW - 2-0

TB @ Chi -3
StL +9.5 @ Sea
Dal -3 @ GB
Hou +5 @ Ten

5 Star LotW
NO @ Den -5.5

Kansas Shitty

2008-09-20T01:29:00.003-05:00

Best sports video ever? In case you missed it on DeadSpin or the Ticket (or 6 million other places) - George Brett's story of crapping himself at the Mirage makes him my new favorite old baseball player. Click on the picture in the linked page to watch the video.

Batfaces at Texas Mid-Am

2008-09-19T12:13:00.013-05:00

Reporting live from Lakewood CC where Fawcett and Tiny B look to dominate. Fawcett teed off this morning and Tiny tees off in about 15 minutes. Pictures and updates to follow.

Early prediction: one of tiny's playing partner, who we will refer to as Curly Douche, will either shoot a 94 or quit at the turn.

Score update: thru 2- Tiny E, CD+1, MM +1

MM just told me "good shot". Confused.

GWILF update: nothing really to speak of. Very disappointing. Will post pics soon.

Score update after some massive bad beats put on tiny by 2 trees and a fence: thru 6- tiny +6, cd +1, mm +2

Score update: thru 9- Tiny +6, Me +2 margaritas

Margarita update: The bad: while overall a good rita, not nearly as good as Bent Trees. The Great: you can charge drinks to accts at other clubs. Thanks, K493!

Last update because the 3G battery sucks ass. Tiny hates golf, MM and CD still suck, margaritas are always a good call,Fawcett shot a 78 and thum says buy gas now. Go Batfaces.

Go A Game?

2008-09-18T23:32:00.001-05:00

"A" Game

2008-09-18T12:51:00.002-05:00

"I'm putting everyone on notice, I'm bringing my "A" game tonight". TBR's exact quote from lunch today with Eric, Todd and me. Giddy up.

An Open Invitation to Join the Batfaces

2008-09-16T10:31:00.007-05:00

Goes to these two guys.

Source credit to Gordon Keith.

Week 2 NFL Picks

2008-09-14T10:07:00.003-05:00

Week 1 2-3
Week 1 LotW - W
Season- 2-3
Season LotW - 1-0

After a very typical 2-3 start, I'm looking to double up today.
NO -1 @ Was
Pit -6.5 @ Cle
Ind @ Min +1.5
Mia +6.5 @ Arz

5-Star LotW:
GB -3 @ Det

Good luck all in.

Batfaces Unite!

2008-09-12T23:53:00.002-05:00

As the missing Batface member (presumably), it was nice to receive such a warm welcome at Houlihan's on Wednesday from my fellow Faces. More importantly, it was nice not leaving Plano with zero dollars. A personal thanks to Son of Sue for the heads up on how you guys play.

Dana, my Chinese "juggy" chested fiance, who in fact is not Chinese but American, was pleased to hear all the raunchy chub comments from the stories told. So, after all the sabotage, the wedding is still on.

Idiots.

*Worst blog ever*

Masters Down (29 is a good)

2008-09-08T15:24:00.002-05:00

MONDAY - Damn. Things didn't go too well today as Scott lost his match 3&2 in cold and rainy Milwaukee. If it's any consolation, I've determined by looking at a picture that Mark Scheibach of Bermuda Dunes, CA might be a douchebag.

SUNDAY UPDATE - Scott shot 75 in the second round and advanced to Monday's Match Play as the 6 seed to play Mark Scheibach. Go Batfaces!

SATURDAY - Batface golfer Scott Fawcett fired a smooth 66 in the First Round of the US Mid Amateur in Milwaukee. He shot 29 on the front nine, so he pretty much sucked on the back nine. The second round of stroke play is tomorrow with the top 64 of 264 contestants advancing to Match Play on Monday. Scott is currently in 2nd place. Go Batfaces!!

Give 'em a hand...

2008-09-08T12:51:00.004-05:00

It was clear that UTEP was no match for the Longhorns on Saturday. However, we must give a "hand" to the UTEP fans. They really seemed down for the game and, although their emotions had to be up and down, the ego stroke of a national TV game seemed to blow their minds/pants.

Best Football Quote Ever?

2008-09-07T13:59:00.006-05:00

Tiny's post about Urban Meyer's decision to pad his field goal kicker's statistics brought to mind what might have been the greatest moment in the history of post-game interviews.

Late in the 4th quarter of the 1968 Michigan-Ohio State football game, legendary coach Woody Hayes left his offense on the field to attempt a two point conversion following a touchdown that put his Buckeyes ahead by a score of 48-14. The 2-point attempt was good and Ohio State eventually won 50-14.

After the game, a sportswriter asked him why he would go for two with the game already decided. Hayes, who hated Michigan worse than Tim Rogers hates decorum, said, "Because I couldn't go for three."

Perhaps Woody was the original Batface?

God Bless Urban Meyer

2008-09-07T11:32:00.003-05:00

And not only because the brunette is his college-ish aged daughter...

How many coaches kick a FG ahead by 20 with 25 seconds left? Not many, I say. Is there any chance he didn't know the line in the game was 22? Is there any chance he wasn't getting a cover for his rich boosters, who bet on the Gators.

Week 1 NFL Picks

2008-09-05T11:13:00.003-05:00

I am not very good at this, even though I pretend and tell myself that I am every single year. With that being said, I'm going to pick 4 games every week that I think are good bets and pick one game each week that is guaranteed to win. Ish.

NYJ @ Mia +3
TB @ NO -3
Cin -2 @ Balt
Det -3 @ Atl

5 Star Lock of the Week
Dal -6 @ Cle

I use sportsbook.com to place all my bets and if anyone wants to sign up, I would appreciate it if you let me know so I can get a referral bonus. Its real easy to use and takes 15 seconds to deposit using your debit card. Good luck all in.

Man Down

2008-09-05T10:53:00.002-05:00

Just received this text from The Gripper:

"Engaged. See you in hell."

Good luck all in.

Live Blog FF Draft

2008-09-02T19:23:00.002-05:00

The 2nd Annual Batface Fantasy Football draft starts soon and this is the one and only location to catch the action. Follow along as millions log on to watch dynasties created?

Shane's New Best Friends?

2008-09-02T12:52:00.001-05:00

Oklahoma Sucks Like a Bitch

2008-09-01T19:47:00.000-05:00

not ark. state funny, but funny

2008-09-01T12:26:00.003-05:00

Just got back from Home Depot where I spit-laughed at a guy wearing this t-shirt. Good news for him is that it may never go out of style.

Batface FF Draft Lotto 2008

2008-08-31T21:38:00.000-05:00

Prove Me Wrong

2008-08-30T23:35:00.003-05:00

Really wanted to wait until after the Miami game to make predictions, but I think I heard enough tonight. What makes me sad is that I don't think I can blame coaching on this one. It really sounds like we just dont have any talent. At all. Our Sr. QB takes a 16 yard sack on the first play of the 2nd half then goes on to throw two picks. Our best player loses a fumble with less than 3 minutes left down by 1. Our Sr. Kicker misses two FG's from less than 33 yards. Really, really bad. As of right now, I stand by my email to Tiny B but have the right to change it as the season goes on. Qwhoop.

ready for prediction

2008-08-30T22:13:00.002-05:00

-----Original Message-----
From: son of sue
To: Tiny B
Sent: Sat Aug 30 22:01:26 2008
Subject: ready for prediction

@ NM - L 17-31 0-2
UM - L 14-48 0-3
Army - W 31-30 1-3
@ OK - L 24-62 1-4
KState - W 27-24 2-4
Tech - L 3-93 2-5
@ISU - W 19-14 3-5
Colo - L 20-45 3-6
OU - L 6-59 3-7
Baylor - W 35-28 4-7
@ Texas - L 11-87 4-8

Gig'em

It is a Sad, Sad Day...

2008-08-29T13:59:00.005-05:00

...when the most intimidating player in the Batfaces home game is this guy.

Batting Stance Guy

2008-08-27T17:59:00.002-05:00

Though I can't believe he didn't do Larry Parrish, Julio Franco is definitely worth the wait.

Who says Barbie is an unrealistic role model?

2008-08-22T16:53:00.003-05:00

The proud look on papa's face says it all.

Olympics

2008-08-20T11:12:00.003-05:00

I'm thinking Zach and Shane would probably be a good tandem if this event ever came to fruition.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=17752374.

I Work Hard to Save You the Effort

2008-08-19T11:00:00.008-05:00

For those Batfaces who were worried about what to include in my obituary (and many of you should be worrying about this chore ), I am happy to say someone has done most of the work for you. Just change a few names around and this one should do just fine.

(Original Link Props to Gordon Keith)

Reason # 1,989 Why I don't Workout

2008-08-13T11:08:00.002-05:00

Batface Gymnastics Team

2008-08-12T10:50:00.003-05:00

While waiting for NBC's profile of swimmer Michael Phelps, I managed to catch a little bit of the Men's Team Gymnastics last night and had an idea. I no longer think we should focus on being America's Best Dance Crew. Instead, Batface Team Gymnastics. The following roster is not news to Tiny B or Sommer. It's not final, either:

Son of Sue: Floor Exercise
Sommer: Rings (no brainer)
Freeze: Parallel Bars
Me: Uneven Bars (though it's technically a chick event only, I intend to break down that barrier)
Shane: Rhythmic Dance (see above)
Tiny B: Vault (originally thought Pommel Horse, but vault showcases his explosion off the line)
Tim: Pummel Horse
Randy vs. Celeste for Balance Beam. OR, Randy AND Celeste for the first-ever Paired Balance Beam Entry. Two Boys One Beam.

Is it me...

2008-08-07T01:47:00.004-05:00

...or is there a shocking similarity between this and this?

Go Me

2008-08-05T23:01:00.001-05:00

First big win online.

Still Alive!

2008-07-31T18:20:00.001-05:00

If Sang and Shane Were Morphed

2008-07-30T14:49:00.002-05:00

I'm Concerned about Fawcett and his Wedding on the Beach

2008-07-29T21:12:00.003-05:00

And he should be, too.

Aggie Dominating Austin

2008-07-26T20:59:00.010-05:00

We've seen less and less of the Ass-slapping Batface over the past few months. It's been assumed that he's been preparing for his pending nuptuals. Turns out he's been spending a lot of time working on his golf game as well. This weekend Scott is playing at UT Golf Club in Austin in the Texas Golf Association's MidAm Match Play Championship. He finished 3rd in the Stroke Play qualifying and has won 4 matches to reach the finals. He plays Terrence Miskell, one of the best Amateur golfers in the state, tomorrow morning for the championship. Good luck. Go Batfaces! Whoop!

UPDATE - Scott lost the final match. Go bubbling. Great tourney.

2-7 Triple Draw is the new sports

2008-07-26T17:36:00.014-05:00

This may be the greatest game ever. Live blog commencing...

5:40.... tripled my starting stack. position seems to be very important. Lot of bluffing.

5:43... two pair turns into 9-low and no call on the river. Up to 1700 (from 500)

5:46... (Omaha side game) Guess what, if I raise with Aces single suited in position, you are my only caller and the board flops a middle pair, I'm not going to believe your silly pot-size bluffs on the flop and turn, Timbo566. Just not gonna. SHIP IT.

5:51... Just dealt 2-3-4-5-7. Called the the nutz, kidz.

5:56... This just in: play ANY hand on the button.

5:59... (Omaha side game) NicePercy, thanks for the nice double up.

6:04... Still relevant? Discuss.

6:09... Damn, think I may have just gotten bluffed. Well played, Greedy Tee, well played indeed.

6:14... Just doubled up Greedy Tee. Not as good as he is.

6:19... just put Superxx all in after the second draw. He had drawn one, I stood pat with a pair of fives. He either made it or he didn't. No call from Superxx. Daddy like.

6:22... Finally misplayed a hand. Let Eric122 draw for free. Also, straights count against you.

Rangers / A's 9th inning live blog

2008-07-25T23:39:00.003-05:00

So the Rangers are up 6-5 going into the 9th inning. CJ is set to pitch, so you know its going to be exciting.

What is harder for Chris Davis to do?
A: Make sweet love to a hot, big-titted East Texan?
B: Tie his shoe?
C: What?

Awesome. Chris Davis is a fucking machine. He owns the MLB. 7 time MVP in the making. How horny is CJ right.....NOW?

I love the interracial family

2008-07-25T23:29:00.003-05:00

Diff'rent Stroke was a great show. Caught a few episodes today while I was writing my resignation letter and really enjoyed it. Amazing fact number 1: Mr. Drummonds career DIED after the show ended. Only was in a couple of small roles after the finale. Also, is there any chance at all that if the DS was a Real World-esque series that the kinda TV hot white chick would be taken HARD advantage of by the somewhat pre-ghetto Willis and the ever short but supposedly hung Arnold? These are the questions that keep me up at night.