Saturday, August 22, 2009

The New Gig


I was just hired as a part-time consultant by Spurt Productions, an adult movie production company based in Canoga Park, California. Apparently, they are having a difficult time conceptualizing marketable stage names for their...err...artists. Naturally, they reached out to me. Who wouldn't? Anyway, below, you can find my initial list of submissions. Also, I think you'll find that many of these would be great to use as an alias next time you check in to a hotel:

Remy Danzig
Matsushita Jones
Doyle Cabbage
Pablo Farkle
Abigail Chafe
BJ Hunter
Sergio Miyagi
Breezy Lube
Muhammad Lippincott, Jr.
Kostas McBride
Genevieve Donk
Antoine Ponyboy
Carmen Mao
Buffy Chowder
Blake P. Tater
Boris Mulcahy
Hailey Dammidge
Axel Poindexter
Miles Deep
Bitsy Ironsides
Tammy Bedroll
Stonewall Lipschitz
"Chicago" Bobby Rash
Buck Taint
Franz Turban
Angus al-Hariri
Keira Dipthong
Mai Dixon
Tiffany Gash
Tito Bumpus
Luigi Friction
McKenzie Squat
Crispin Walenda
Dill Bildo
Esther Diaspora
Burt Pounder
Wilma Bottomfront
Mimi Grafenberg
Duke Rabinowitz
Paige Cramps
Helena Decepticon
Percival "The Cinch" Valentine
Sara Mae Plowright
Harmony Grillspat
Katrina Fluffer
Herbie Felterbox